Invasion of the Love Drones (Jerome Hamlin, 1977)

I don't know why I was reluctant to tell you all about my date with Invasion of the Love Drones. After all, the film features a scene where a Love Drone–who is wearing, get this, black fishnet stockings and a black studded collar–masturbates by using two futuristic-looking vacuum tubes that boast irregular nozzles. If that weren't enough, the reason she's masturbating is to thwart a nuclear-tipped rocket that is headed her way. You see, in order to stop the nuclear-tipped rocket from destroying the Love Drone mother ship, Auto-Erotic (Alexandria) must have an orgasm. It would seem that her climax has the ability to blow nuclear-tipped rockets out of the sky. I know, pretty awesome, eh? So, why was I reluctant to admit that I took time out of my busy schedule to watch this sleazy slab of sci-fi pornography? Well, the reason I was reluctant has a lot to do with the fact that most of the performers don't fully commit their genitals to the sex scenes. It's true, we see many close-up shots of women's anuses whilst in the throes of vaginal intercourse, but I have a sneaking suspicion that all the anuses in this film belonged to the fabulous Bree Anthony (Claudia from Satan Was a Lady). Now, I have no way of proving that every anus was Bree Anthony's anus, but there was definitely some anal recycling going on in this film. And it annoys to think that five years after the birth of porno chic, a triple x production had the gall to try to limit the amount of lady buttholes I see in a motion picture. I mean, if you can't trust the makers of hardcore pornography, who can you trust?

Fraudulent rectums aside, Invasion of the Love Drones is a straight-up masterpiece. And it features a ton of actors I sort of recognized. I know, a straight-up masterpiece with recognizable actors? Talk about a win-win. It even opens with a Rod Sterling-esque introduction. "Welcome to... The Erogenous Zone."

The first recognizable actor being the film's male lead, Eric Edwards. You might remember him from Waterpower, he performs a backroom enema on Long Jeanne Silver. Anyway, did you know his penis has been inside Taija Rae? Well, it totally has. Many, many times in fact. What's this got to do anything, you say? Oh, nothing.

Why the aliens, who are currently orbiting the planet Earth in their penis-shaped spaceship (just once I'd like see an erotic sci-fi film bypass the whole penis-shaped spaceship gag), chose Eric Edwards to be their first Drone is never really explained. Or maybe it was and I just wasn't paying attention. Either way, they beam him abroad their ship.

Naked and confused, Eric Edwards is told (by a female voice emanating from a red light located in the middle of what looks like a giant disco ball) to have sex with two Pornovisions (Arlana Blue and Lorraine Alraune). Don't ask me what a "Pornovision" is, I'm just copying what it says in the credits. Actually, I think the Pornovisions were created in order to entice Eric Edwards to have sex with them and in turn become a Drone.

The huge afros, the freaky shades, the black and white armwear, the habit of performing interpretive dance, the gold-studded belts, the Pornovisions are quite the sight to behold.

You can tell there's something different about Eric Edwards after he ejaculates in the mouth of one of the Pornovisions just by listening to the sound of his voice, which has developed a robotic, almost monotone register.

Returned to his bathroom in Queens, Eric Edwards, who is actually a guy named George, tells his wife Joanne (Joann Sterling), a top-heavy redhead, in his new robot voice, that he wants to have sex. When you have sex with a Love Drone you yourself become a Love Drone. And, you guessed it, Joanne is now speaking with a robot voice.

Since he can't go around having sex with random strangers (at least not yet), George heads to a clinic where Dr. Debra Femme (Viveca Ash) and her assistant Andrea (Michelle Magazine), two leggy lab coat enthusiasts, are conducting sex research. Volunteering to be a test subject, George is paired with a woman named Janet (Any Mathieu) and the two of them have sex. It's during this sex scene that we get our first glimpse of Bree Anthony's anus in action. The lighting and the thrusting speed didn't match at all (in the wide shots, Any is doing the bulk of the humping, whereas, during the close-ups, the man is doing the lion's share of the fuck work). In other words, that wasn't Any Mathieu's anus in the throes of love making.

One way to spot a Love Drone, besides their tendency to speak in a robot voice, is to listen for the phrase "okee dokee." If you hear this, then you know you're in the company of a Love Drone.

As George is out making new Love Drones, his wife Joanne is out doing the same. Showing up a photographer's apartment to get her picture taken (she's model of some kind), Joanne "drones" a photographer played by Alex Mann. I must say, if watching Alex Mann movies was a skill, I would be... well, to be honest, I don't know what I would be. Let's just say, by adding this film to the mix, I've seen a total of four Alex Mann movies. Just to remind you, the others are: Malibu High, I Drink Your Blood and Satan Was a Lady.

It should go without saying, but whenever I see Alex Mann's name in the credits, I know the film is going to be good.

In order to absorb all the sexual energy emanating from Earth, the Love Drones unleash two Sex Servos (Bree Anthony and Tony Richards), who begin to have sex. This scene, by the way, is the only "real"sex scene in the movie, as the rest are simulated. Actually, that's not entirely true, the scene with Eric Edwards and the Pornovisions was definitely real. But other than that... Of course, I don't mean to imply that sexual intercourse between a man and a woman is the only sex I consider to be "real." It's just that Bree Anthony and Tony Richards are the only performers who seemed willing to fuck on camera.

Hence, the reason Bree's chocolate starfish makes several appearances throughout the film and the reason the sex scene between Bree and Tony on the floor of the Love Drone spaceship lasts until the end of the film. Let me better explain the latter. Each leg of their sexual journey is gradually unveiled as the film progress. For example, after Molly (Dusty Evsky), who uses Bree's anus as well, "drones" Frank (Levi Richards), an F.B.I. agent, on her couch, we're whisked aboard the Love Drone spaceship to watch the Sex Servos engage in the oral presentation of their act of deep space copulation.

F.B.I. agents, chicks named "Molly"? It would seem that the Love Drones are quickly taking over.

Yeah, the F.B.I. get involved at the behest of Dr. Femme, who is convinced aliens are trying to take over the world. When Agent Frank fails to uncover an alien plot, the F.B.I. chief sends Agent Rona (Jennifer Jordan from The Tiffany Mynx and A Woman's Torment) to investigate a sex party happening at Club de Vie. This, of course, just leads to Agent Rona being turned into a Love Drone. She tries to escape, by Alex Mann and a gang of Love Drones overpower her and gang drone her on a chess table.

Since the F.B.I. are no help, Dr. Femme hatches plan--with zero help from her assistant Andrea (who sort of just sits there with the clueless expression on her face)--to stop the Love Drones by infecting the Love Drones with a venereal disease. She figures since the Love Drones are a collective, she reckons that all she has to do is infect one and the rest should follow. Only problem, where to find one? That's easy, just locate a man with a monotone voice, have sex with him, and then inject him with the virus as he's about to climax. Drone, and drone.

(Wait a minute, what if the man Dr. Femme has sex with in not a Love Drone, but some random dude who just happens to speak in a monotone voice?) Huh, I didn't think about that. Well, the first guy Dr. Femme approaches on the street is played by Kevin Andre, a.k.a. the car salesmen from Teenage Hitchhikers.

Oh, and in order to come off as more appealing to the men of New York City, Dr. Femme puts away her lab coat and dons a mini-skirt and a pair of knee-high boots.

You would think a film like this, one with a limited budget, would have trouble depicting a planetary invasion convincingly. But the film does a surprisingly excellent job making it seem the world is about to overrun with sex-obsessed Love Drones. We get a shot of George, Rona and Joanne heading to the airport, Jerry Jerome plays various newscasters from around the globe (U.K., France, West Germany and India), and authentic footage of a rocket being launched into space is used at one point. All these things helped give the proceedings a real sense of urgency. Meaning, if Dr. Femme doesn't infect a Love Drone with V.D., and quick, the world is doomed.

As I implied earlier, the nuclear-tipped rocket is thwarted by Auto-Erotic (Alexandria), who masturbates (in black fishnet stockings with seams) with a pair of vacuum hoses with bell-shaped metallic tips.

When Jamie Gillis shows up as the leader of a group of Love Drones, I was sure he was going to fuck something. But when he doesn't, I was like: Huh, Jamie Gillis is not fucking anything. How strange. Instead, he just sits there asking his fellow Love Drones: "Are we one?" over and over again.

If everything I've described so far still sounds unappealing to you, just sit back and enjoy the synthy goodness that is the film's soundtrack. Seriously, the music in this movie rules. The music used when Bree Anthony is being mounted missionary style in particular is fucking awesome, as deep, sinister-sounding synth flourishes fill the air as Bree's real pussy is filled with drug-free 1970s cock.

The Tiffany Minx (Roberta Findlay, 1981)

Sex, money, rape, and murder all coalesce into one mighty fine stew in...The Tiffany Minx, Roberta Findlay's logical follow up to A Woman's Torment. Wait a second, follow up?!? Wasn't A Woman's Torment made in 1977? Yeah, so? Well, you have...The Tiffany Minx listed as coming out in 1981. Again, yeah, so? What I'm trying to say is, that's not exactly what I would call a "follow up" (four years is practically an eternity in erotic horror terms). In today's fact-deficient culture, who really cares about release dates? I mean, Marlene Willoughby's willowy frame and Crystal Sync's succinct cunt are patiently waiting to receive the fawning praise they so rightly deserve, and here I am talking about release dates? That's–and I'm sure most of you will agree–some pretty fucked up shit. Besides, it's obvious A Woman's Torment and...The Tiffany Minx were made at the same time. How so? I'll tell you how so, Crystal Sync wears the same dress in both films. And not only that, Jeffrey Hurst's back is hairy in both films as well. Think about it, if it was really 1981, don't you think that Jeffrey wouldn't have gotten it shaved, or, at the very least, trimmed a bit, by the time 1981 rolled around? No, these films are both products of the mid-to-late 1970s (and they have the hairy ass cracks to prove it). Um, that's great and all. But what about Marlene Willoughby's willowy frame and Crystal Sync's succinct cunt? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about them. Just kidding, those two things are never far from my mind.
 

 

When I first saw the trailer for...The Tiffany Minx, I thought to myself: I need stop what I'm doing and go see...The Tiffany Minx. Brilliantly edited and narrated by a woman who seems to whisper all her lines, the trailer immediately sucked me into its melodramatic world of sex and violence. Oh, and the reason I pause every time I say...The Tiffany Minx, is because that's what the voiceover lady does in the trailer, and I just like the way it sounds. Anyway, the trailer's biggest draw was Marlene Willoughby's willowy frame and stunning face. In fact, every time Marlene Willoughby would appear in the trailer my guts would go gooey. I don't know, there's just something about her that brings out the animal in me. And by "animal," I mean a small woodland creature with low self-esteem.  
 

 

The moment I saw Marlene Willoughby's brief appearance in Waterpower (you might remember, she played the nurse who assists Dr. Eric Edwards with the film's first enema), I knew right away that there was something special about her; I'm convinced that the shape of her face has healing powers (though, it should be said, that I feel the same way about the faces that belong to Sharon Mitchell and Lois Ayres). After a lengthy period of time that boasted no Marlene Willoughby, I saw her again in A Woman's Torment. Unfortunately, her role was a non-sex-related. On the bright side, she does deliver a deftly comedic performance as the nosy Fannie Grudkow. While it was nice to see Marlene Willoughby in a film again, it was obvious, judging by my naked writhing, that I wanted more.
 

 

Will...The Tiffany Minx provide me the Marlene Willoughby that I so wantonly crave? Stay tuned to find out, as I, and by "I," I mean, "we," delve once again into the cinematic meat grinder that is the world of Roberta Findlay, and carefully examine the erotic tour de force that is...The Tiffany Minx.
 

 

Why is Carter Stevens, sans pants, cutting the garter belt attached to a passed out Robin Sane with a pair of scissors? I have no idea, but it's 2:30am and the fun has apparently just begun. Entering the room with a forceful swagger, a black hold-up stockings/satin panties clad Samantha Fox is ready to get fucked. Accompanied by her brunette boy toy (David Morris), Samantha asks Carter Stevens if they can violate the pussy of his passed out companion. While Carter Stevens goes to the kitchen to get a snack, Samantha Fox and David Morris proceed to rape the unconscious Robin Sane (who, according to Carter Stevens, drank two bottles of champagne). In order to get her in the mood, the brunette boy toy licks Samantha's pussy through her satin panties ("I like the feeling of satin rubbing against my pussy"). As the boy toy is giving Robin and Samantha each a piece of his cock, Carter Stevens is on the phone.  
 

 

As far as opening scenes go, the one in...The Tiffany Minx is pretty confusing. I mean, who are these people? None of them look like Marlene Willoughby or Crystal Sync. Well, Carter Stevens' phone conversation is the only aspect that's integral to the film's plot (the identity of the person on the other end of the line isn't revealed). Everything else is just Samantha Fox in black hold-up stockings-related gravy to feed the raincoat crowd.
 

 

Woo-hoo! The luminous Crystal Sync makes an appearance immediately after the boy toy had finished dispensing his future stain onto Samantha Fox's chest. Standing by the pool in a white bikini, Jessica Grover (Crystal Sync) is talking to her husband, Paul (Jeffrey Hurst), on the phone. While I can't remember exactly what the topic of their conversation was (I was too busy drinking in Miss Sync's sexiness), I bet it's got something to do with Anne.
 

 

Who's Anne, you ask? She's a woman who works with Jess's husband (real estate is his game). And not only that, Jess thinks Paul is having an affair with her. This Anne woman would have to be pretty spectacular to drive Paul to cheat. I mean, let's get real. His wife looks like Crystal Sync. It all starts makes sense once we get our first look at this Anne character. Do I have to spell it out? Anne is played by–yeah, you guessed it–Marlene Willoughby. Wait a second. You mean to tell me this Paul fella is married to Crystal Sync and is having an affair with Marlene Willoughby? Paul is my new hero.
 

 

Don't put your dick in Paul's ass just yet. You see, he's got a scheme going. A scheme? Yeah, a scheme. His wife is loaded. And according to the rooftop chat we're privy to that takes place between Paul and Anne, there's plan afoot to bilk her of her family fortune.

In meantime, Paul and Anne consummate their sinister alliance with a little bedroom sexual intercourse. Ah, bedroom sexual intercourse. It's where straight people fuck. You mean? Yes, we get to see Marlane Willoughby's slender body in the throes of passion. Tasty. Spoon position, moan, "I want it," your pussy looks like Gene Shalit, skinny arms, doggie style, blow job, moan, spoon position, male orgasm, pubic hair/stomach. I like the way Marlene Willoughby would occasionally look over her shoulder in order to keep tabs on what her lover's cock was doing to her shalit-esque pussy.

 

 

While Anne's 'O' face managed to retain its 'O'-ness throughout her encounter with her lover's cock, the same can't be said for the intruder/rapist who decides to pay Jess a visit. His 'O' face quickly turns to his 'Ow' face, as Jess plunges a pair of scissors into his back mere moments after he spewed his rape wad on her stomach. And get this, the intruder/rapist was played by Carter Stevens. You mean the same guy from the opening scene? The very same. Wow, I mean, wow. That's weird, wild stuff.
 

 

Calling her husband immediately, Anne comforts Jess (Marlene Willoughby and Crystal should hug more often) as Paul handles the police. Still stressed about the rape, and the fact that she killed a man, Jess tries to put it all behind her. Of course, seeing the newspaper, headline, "L.I. Woman Kills Rapist," isn't helping matters. To make things even worse, the byline reads: "Cool Canadian Air Due Overnight." That's it, blame Canada for all your troubles.
 

 

The alluring Marlene Willoughby gives the first of her many evil eyebrow lifts during a phone conversation with Paul. If you haven't guessed by now, they're up to something. Anyway, I dug the manner in which Marlene Willoughby says, "Yes, an accident...a fatal accident." The instant she says this, I preformed a mental fist pump. As in, yeah, baby! *mental fist pump* You're thin, you're fabulous, you're a colossal hosebeast, and you're campy as fuck. In other words, I love you.
 

 

A surprise birthday party for Jess doesn't go as planned as she loses her shit during the cake cutting ceremony (knives still creep her out). Realizing their plan is "on the verge of being a rousing success," Paul and Anne celebrate their duplicity by kissing one another. Little do they know, but Jess spots them swapping mouth fluid. Busted! Keeping what she saw to herself, Jess agrees that it's a good idea for her go some place quiet and secluded. Oh, I know where she should go, the Fire Island beach house from A Woman's Torment. It's almost as if she was reading my mind, because that's exactly where she decides to go.
 

 

A weird scene involving a guy named Matt (Robert Kerman) and two women, a blonde (Merle Michaels) and a brunette (Candida Royalle), fills the space between Jess's decision to go the beach house and her eventually arrival. After the blonde and brunette finish sixty-nining each other, Matt receives a blow job from the blonde.

 

 

We soon find out why Matt has been added to the mix, as he's in cahoots with Pinky (Jennifer Jordan), who just happens to be the woman who lives in the beach house next to the one Jess will be staying at. To welcome Jess to her new digs, Paul let's Jess sit on his cock, or I should say, Jess let's Paul put his cock where Jess sits.
 

 

I'm curious. How did Anne feel about all this cock sitting? Why don't you ask her? She's sulking in a slinky blue nightgown in the room next-door. Whatever. Even while sulking, Marlane Willoughby manages maintain her fabulousness. 
 

 

In the blue corner, weighing in at a hundred pounds soaking wet, wearing the green head scarf, from Detroit, Michigan, Marlene Willoughby. Willoughby!
 

 

And in the red corner, weighing in at none of your fucking business, wearing the white bikini, from parts unknown, Crystal Sync. Sync!
 

 

When we see Jennifer Jordan's Pinky sitting cross-legged on the deck of Jessica's beach house, are her shapely legs sheathed in: A) Hold-up stockings B) Stockings attached to a garter belt C) Suspender hose, or D) Pantyhose? To find out the answer to this question, you'll have to watch...The Tiffany Minx.  

 

 

Every time Pinky says her signature line, "If you know what I mean," you have to take a sip of tea. Did you just invent a... The Tiffany Minx drinking game? 'Well, whatta ya know? It looks like I just did. 
 

 

Who is...The Tiffany Minx? Personally, I think it's rather obvious. Nevertheless...The Tiffany Minx packs an emotional punch, with a twist ending that will leave you in awe. Okay, maybe that's a little on the strong side. Let's just say, the film's tag line, "the first adult film for adults," isn't that far off, as the film is surprisingly intelligent (the plot is as tight as Marlene Willoughby's mouth-watering pussy), it's violent, it's well-acted (the five principal actors are all uniformly excellent), and is quite sophisticated in places. The unedited trailer for...The Tiffany Minx can be found on the Roberta Findlay Cult '70s Porno Director DVD and the Doris Wishman Cult 70's Porno Director DVD. Beware...the minx.

an edited version of the infamous tiffany minx trailer has recently been uploaded by permateen (major kudos to them)

A Woman's Torment (Roberta Findlay, 1977)

We all have racially ambiguous, mentally unstable women in our lives. They live in our attics, they blather incoherently in our parks, and they teach our children to read. It's a testament to our growth as a liberal society that we allow racially ambiguous, mentally unstable women to roam free across this great land of ours. However, in the mid-1970s, attitudes were much different. In most cases, people kept their racially ambiguous, mentally unstable women hidden from view. Sheltered from the prying eyes attached to the faces of small minded sycophants and hopelessly out of touch reprobates, racially ambiguous, mentally unstable women (or "R.A.M.U.W.," as they're sometimes not called ) were unfairly maligned by a world that wasn't quite ready for their sexually liberated brand of gesticulation-heavy psychosis. In the erotic horror masterpiece, A Woman's Torment, we get a highly compelling look at the plight of a dark-haired R.A.M.U.W. named Karen (Tara Chung), as she struggles to make sense of a society that shuns her kind with a moderately extreme form of abandonment. Wielding her low centre of gravity like it were a serrated dildo made out of three different types of cheese, Karen uses her moist pussy (the crown jewel of her organic structure) to woo those who are still on the fence regarding R.A.M.U.W. rights. As each penis plunges deep inside her carnivorous cubbyhole, the scrapping sound the cocks make as they rub against her labia grows louder with every thrust. In fact, if you listen carefully–and I mean, really carefully, so carefully that your ears might disown you and move to Moldova–you can almost make out the sound of a crowd chanting: We're here, we're racially ambiguous, mentally unstable women, get used to it!
 

 
Let me get this straight, you heard a crowd chanting that? No, actually, you know what? I'm going to let that slide; much in  the way Maestro Fresh Wes instructed us to let our backbone's slide in the late 1980s. You wanna know why? Sure. It's because you're the one who's starting to sound like they're mentally unstable. These racially ambiguous women you keep referring to are coming off as perfectly sane compared to the extra-strength batshit you're putting out there.
 

 
While I might sound unwell in the brain department, make no mistake, Karen is racially ambiguous. I mean, what is she? Is she Chinese? I'm confused. How about Indonesian? Danish, maybe? Either way, she's definitely mentally unstable. Look at her, she's trying to hump the beach. And you what else Karen is? That's right, she's a woman. How do I know this? You kidding, right? Well, for starters, she masturbates in the shower. And you wanna know why she masturbates in the shower? No? Whatever, I'm going to tell you anyway. Two words: Shower nozzle.
 

 
Need further proof that Karen is a woman? No, I'm good. Okay. Do you need further proof that Karen is insane? Yes. Yes, I do. Just look into her eyes. And, thankfully, writer-director Roberta Findlay gives us plenty of close-up shots of her eyes whilst in throes of madness.
 

 
Oh, that reminds me. Do you know how I knew A Woman's Torment was written and directed by a woman. Um, because the director's name is Roberta? No, actually, she's credited as "Robert W. Norman." The exact moment I knew A Woman's Torment was directed by a woman was when  Estelle Vorel (Jennifer Jordan) tells her husband, Dr. Otis Vorel (Jake Teague), "you didn't make love to me, you masturbated inside of me," as no man would write a line like that. You see, Estelle tries to point out the substandard quality of her husband's thrusts during sex, but her mid-hump concerns fell on deaf ears as Otis continued to insert his chemically unassisted penis into her silky smooth vagina with a self-indulgent glee.
 

 
Cleaning his nonexistent wad off her stomach with the sheets (get this failure stain off my stomach), Estelle starts to cry. He may be a lousy lover, but Otis is one hell of a psychiatrist. Or, at least he thinks he is. Placating Estelle's misery with a pat on the head and a "there there," he tells her to "get dressed" (they're supposed to go to a party later on). Totally seeing through his attempt to calm her down, Estelle eventually agrees to get dressed. But not before accusing him of having an affair. She thinks the woman Otis is having an affair with will be at this party. And you know what? She's probably right.
 

 
We get our first glimpse of the real reason Otis wanted to go to the party so badly holding court in the middle of the living room. A chichi force of nature if I ever saw one, Francis Compton (Crystal Sync) is one of the most alluring women 1970s has ever seen. Unfortunately, Francis, who is wearing a tight, sparkly gold dress, decides to end her affair with Otis mid-grope. It's for the best. Besides, there's no way Otis deserves to be with a woman who is that stylish and elegant.
 

 
The other topic of conversation at the party is the whereabouts of the mysterious Karen, Francis' step sister-in-law. A nosy party-goer asks about her at one point, to which Francis responds, "she's resting." We all know that's not entirely true, as we get the occasional shot of Karen sitting in a rocking chair holding a pair of scissors in a poorly lit room upstairs.  
 

 
You want to know who else agrees with my assessment of Francis Compton? Her husband, Don Compton (Jeffrey Hurst), a hirsute fella with exceptional taste. When Don calls Francis a "beautiful...cock-stirring sight" after the party, I nearly strained my neck as a result of nodding too much in agreement. Of course, as the foxy Francis reluctantly hops aboard her husband's cock, we notice that Karen is still rocking back and forth in an adjacent room.
 

 
You want more proof A Woman's Torment was written by a woman? As Don and Francis are schtupping, they discuss whether or not they should have a baby (procreation is the last thing on a male director's mind when shooting a sex scene). In hindsight, though, I don't think ejaculating sperm all over your wife's stomach is correct way to conceive a child. But then again, they didn't really make a clear cut decision regarding the baby.
 

 
Now that I have established that A Woman's Torment was written and directed by a woman, we finally head out to the beach house. Located on a remote island somewhere off the coast of Long Island (Fire Island, perhaps?), the beach house will be the film's primary location from now on. Staggering along the beach, Karen dumps her suitcase in the ocean and makes her way to a house that presumably belongs to Francis and Don. The first thing Karen does is turn on all the lights and open the curtains. As she wanders the house in a daze, we start to hear the voices in Karen's head. While taking a shower, Karen imagines herself being stabbed by a masked assailant. It's clear that Karen, on top of being racially ambiguous, is mentally unstable.
 

 
I just hope no one decides to drop by unannounced, as Karen's brand of mentally deranged lust isn't really meant for public consumption. Of course, someone does decide to drop by. If they didn't, it wouldn't be much of a movie, now, would it? Though, I could watch Karen shower and act deranged for hours on end. Well, most people don't think like you, so Larry the Lineman (Michael Gaunt) shows up in Karen's kitchen. Grabbing a knife and clutching the top of her bathrobe, Karen is visibly shaken by the sudden appearance of a man in a green hardhat. As Larry the Lineman pokes around a bit (chatting her up as he does so), Karen starts to hear voices.
 

 
The sight of a R.A.M.U.W. holding a knife with a disturbed expression on her face would cause most men to run for the nearest exit, but not Larry the Lineman. In fact, he becomes even more aggressive. While making a fire in the fireplace, Karen's eyes become less wide-eyed and more focused. You know what that means? Throwing her robe off like it wasn't even there, Karen is tosses a couple of couch cushions on the ground and instructs Larry the Lineman to start fingering her pussy. Which he does.
 

 
After his fingers become stiff and achy, Larry the Lineman decides it's time for his cock to get some attention. In no mood to be penetrated by Larry the Lineman, Karen resists his attempt to mount her. Unable to stop him, Karen eventually stabs Larry the Lineman with a knife just after he finished spewing cum all over her stomach. Seeing a man convulsing as a result of being stabbed while his urethra was still moist with jizz was pretty awesome. Funny thing, just as Larry the Lineman is being stabbed, we get a quick shot of Francis, Don, Estelle, and Otis having cocktails on the roof of their building. You have to laugh when the line, "there's nothing seriously wrong with Karen" is suddenly uttered. Nothing wrong, eh? I don't know about that.
 

 
Channeling Edith Prickley and Little Edie, the immensely talented Marlene Willoughby (Waterpower) dons a head scarf, a yellow raincoat, sunglasses, white gloves, and smeared lipstick to play Fannie Grudkow, the nosiest neighbour in movie history. Her loud knocking at the door causes Karen to move Larry the Lineman's body underneath the deck. After awhile, Miss Gudkow gives up waiting for someone to answer the door and leaves. But not before shaking her fist in the beach house's general direction (she's upset over the fact that all their lights are on in the middle of the day).
 

  
Just as I was thinking that this film could use more Marlene Willoughby, Fannie Grudkow returns later that evening. Proving that she is a terrific actress, Marlene recites a huge chunk of dialogue, as a confused-looking Tara Chung looks on. Bullying her way inside, Miss Grudkow continues to badger Karen, mostly about the energy crisis. Am I seeing things, or did Fannie Grudkow just steal one of Karen's lightbulbs? Anyway, Karen's wide-eyed indifference soon turns to homicidal rage. Informing Miss Grudkow that her "cunt is on fire," Karen tries to grope the garrulous busybody with mixed results. It should go without saying, but the area underneath Karen's deck is starting to get a tad overrun with corpses.
 

 
Itching to fuck something, Karen heads out to the beach to hump the sand. As she's doing that, we're introduced to a young couple, Tom (actor unknown) and his fiancee, let's call her Stacey (Clea Carson, also from Waterpower), floating in a small pleasure craft out on the water. It's not quite clear yet what these two have to do with Karen. But you know something sinister is afoot.
 

 
If you had any doubts about A Woman's Torment and its status as a horror film, you need look further than the confrontation between Karen and the young couple.
 

 
Dripping with equal amounts of blood and cum, A Woman's Torment is probably one of the best erotic horror films ever made. And while I love Marlene Willoughby and Crystal Sync, who are not only two of the most attractive actresses working the fuck film circuit, their acting is top notch, I have to say, I was deeply impressed by the performance given by newcomer Tara Chung. Giving crazy a much needed shot in the arm, Tara's fearlessness is evident in almost every scene. Whether masturbating in the shower or stabbing Larry the Lineman in the back, Tara Chung is the queen of the R.A.M.U.W.-style of acting, and the main reason this film is the non-classic it is today.

video uploaded by MarleneWilloughbyFan (sorry, I couldn't find a trailer for the film)