Sunday, August 31, 2014

Femmes de Sade (Alex de Renzy, 1976)

Normally, I would gradually work my way to the scene I'm about to describe. But I can't stop thinking about it. Meaning, I'm afraid I'm going to have to write about it now. I hope you don't mind. Okay, here we go. First of all, I can't believe the amazing Monique Starr only ever appeared in three movies, as she  oozes exudes the right kind of charisma. However, after watching some of messed up shit she gets into in Alex de Renzy's Femmes de Sade, who could blame her? I mean, this film is a pretty tough act to follow. Oh, and when I say, "messed up shit," I'm not speaking metaphorically. Naked, but painted silver, Monique Starr's Royce, the North Beach, San Francisco prostitute with the toothy smile and the drag queen-quality eyebrows, enters the orgy with one thought and one thought only on her mind, and that is, revenge. While most people think revenge is a dish best served cold, Royce happens to think revenge should be served a tad on the warm side. After watching her fellow orgy-goers pee all over the object of her revenge en masse, Royce positions herself over her target. Crouching in a manner that is conducive to urination, Royce unleashes a torrent of piss all over her tormentor. Or does she? Unlike when her fellow orgy-goers peed en masse, we can't see what's coming out of Royce's body. For a second there, I felt somewhat cheated. Seriously, I thought the sight of Royce pissing all this sadistic asshole was what this film was all about. Well, it turns out Royce wasn't taking a piss, she was taking a shit.

As the lumps of freshly defecated fecal matter lay all over the overworked genitals belonging to Rocky de Sade (Ken Turner), I sat there dumfounded. Did she just do what I think she just did? When my dumbfoundedness eventually subsided, I started jumping up and down. And, yes, my jumping was entirely joy-based. I don't know what it was, but seeing Royce's poo languishing on Rocky's junk put me at ease.

However, it wasn't languishing there for long, as an unseen orgy-goer takes upon themselves to smear Royce's semisolid, mucus-coated poop all over his stomach and chest with their bare hands.

Actually, that's the part that upset me the most. No, not the loaf-pinching itself (like I said, that put me at ease), but the fact that the person doing the poo-smearing wasn't wearing gloves.

If you're asking yourself: What does someone have to do to justify being pissed on, shat upon and anally raped by a dildo at the greatest orgy the Bay Area has ever seen? Trust me, he had it coming. He, of course, being, Rocky de Sade, the man who puts the sick in sick fuck.

And, no, I'm not just saying that because I'm jealous of his "special ability," he is, hands down, one of the most objectionable people I've ever seen in a motion picture.

Getting out of prison, San Quentin, to be specific, Joe (Joey Silvera) is greeted at the gate by Ellen (Abigail Clayton), his loving girlfriend. Picking him in a convertible, Ellen plans on taking the newly free Joe to a cabin by the lake so that they may get reacquainted with one another, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, just as they're about to drive off, Rocky de Sade hops in the back seat. Like Joe, Rocky just got released after doing three years/six months in the joint. When Joe suggests that he take the bus, Rocky replies, "Fuck the bus." Ahhh, just typing that gives me the willies. It's not the words themselves that cause the willies to happen, it's Ken Turner's voice, it's so unnerving.

So much so, that I almost forget to mention that Ellen is wearing a green and black skirt (the green side has polka-dots on it, while the black side has a floral pattern). She's also wearing black nylons, but I can't tell if they're stockings or pantyhose.

Wasting very little time, Joe and Ellen run into the cabin to get down to business, while Rocky waits in the car.

We have black stockings!!! I repeat, we have black stockings! Brushing his hand up Ellen's leg causes her skirt to swoosh upward. And in doing so, reveals the exact type of nylons Ellen is wearing. Savour this moment, my friends, as Alex de Renzy makes it's hard for us to enjoy their eventual copulation. Why's that, you ask? Um, hello? How can anyone enjoy sexual intercourse knowing Rocky de Sade is sitting outside? I know I can't, and I'm not even there. Despite Rocky's presence, Joe manages to achieve his first heterosexual orgasm in a long time (it's not made clear how long he was incarcerated for).

After taking a piss against a tree (shaking away the residual pee-based residue with a violent shaking motion), Rocky de Sade enters the cabin. When he's finished beating the hell out of Joe, Rocky de Sade ties Ellen to the bed (using her black stockings as restraints) and then proceeds to anally rape her. After unloading the physical manifestation of his orgasm all over Ellen's ass (shaking away the residual cum-based residue with a violent shaking motion), Rocky de Sade leaves the cabin.

Piercing the night air like a spear that's been dipped in hatred, the nearly seven foot tall Rocky de Sade spends the next couple of days stalking the streets of San Francisco's red light district.

Man, I thought Yonge Street and 42nd Street were scum-laden, this place is freakin' beautiful. The colours, the lights, the sights, the sounds, the garishness of it all, it's like heaven on earth.

Walking through this heaven like a couple of rock stars are Johnny (John Leslie), who works at a local adult bookstore/movie theatre, and Royce, a streetwise prostitute.

While the Rocky de Sade storyline is what drives the film, we're treated to three fantasy sequences that involve John Leslie.

The first takes place in a doctor's office, where John Leslie envisions himself as a doctor and Marge (Mimi Morgan), a customer in his adult bookstore, as his patient. Placing Marge on an exam table with stirrups, Dr. John removes her tan pantyhose, with some help from Nurse Royce, and proceeds to poke and prod her vagina with various objects. Ultimately settling on his own erect penis, John uses it to fuck her vagina for a period of time that didn't seem excessive.

The second fantasy sequence occurs after Royce and hooker friends (Annette Haven, Lesllie Bovee, et al) have a pizza party at John's adult bookstore. When one of the hookers mentions a trick who forced her cover herself with grease, John imagines himself and two other guys having sex with Lesllie Bovee in an engine room of some sort. On top of there being a lot of grease, the harsh sound of the machines gave this scene a real off-kilter vibe (industrial grease porn).

The less said about the third fantasy sequence, the better. There was nothing wrong with it from a conceptual point of view (John fantasizes about having sex with a couple of Asian women), it's just that John Leslie's eyes have been... How should I put this? Uh, they were slanted slightly. Oh, who am I kidding? They were slanted a lot.

Meanwhile, Rocky de Sade is busy showing a petite blonde prostitute (Melba Bruce) how to suck his cock. I know what you're thinking, he was showing her how by using a banana. Wrong! He showed her by sucking his own cock. Since Rocky de Sade can't leave a room without causing someone to experience pain and suffering, Rocky forces the prostitute to lick her own pussy. However, since she's not as limber as Rocky is, this causes her much discomfort (he nearly breaks her back).

A friend of Johnny's informs him that he's going to be throwing, "Blood and Mother's Milk: The 1st Annual Leather Ball... for Whores, Pimps, Queens and Queers... for Sadists and Masochists... Slaves and Masters... Music, Drink, Costumes a Must." As he's handing Johnny some complimentary tickets, Rocky de Sade grabs one for himself. Johnny and his friend try to protest, but as others have found out, it's hard to stand up to Rocky de Sade.

The melding of the Johnny plot and the Rocky de Sade plot gets even meldier(?) when the latter picks up Royce for a date. "Come on, honey, let's go get juicy," Royce tells Rocky, unknowing that she's about to enter a world of hurt.

Putting collar on her, Rocky... Oh, I liked how Royce cleans his cock with a moist cloth before sucking it (very classy). Anyway, the now collared Royce gets a cigarette put out on her chest, a bottle shoved up her ass and beaten to a bloody pulp.

Since Johnny knows that Rocky will probably be at the leather ball, he plans, along with Royce and her hooker friends, to get back him; or, as Johnny puts it, "fix his ass good."

Culminating with the leather ball sequence, Femmes de Sade throws every fetish and perversion in the book at us in what has to be the greatest orgy in cinematic history. Let's see if I can remember what I saw: Spanking, cross-dressing, stockings, shaved pussies, dildos, tea bagging, whips, chains, grown men in diapers, annilingus, doggielingus, black dudes dressed like Arab sheiks fucking white chicks, white dudes in lingerie fucking black chicks, body painting, crotchless panties, strap-ons, and masks... lot's of masks.

When a masked Rocky de Sade finally arrives (though, it's obvious it's him, he's seven feet tall), he's lulled into thinking he's amongst friends. Little does he know... Run, Rocky, it's a trap! Just kidding, I can't wait to see him finally get his comeuppance. Now, I've read that the scat scene is fake. In other words, Royce doesn't really take a dump on Rocky's dick. Either way, the moment she steps away from Rocky and it's implied that she took a crap on his crotch was truly electrifying.

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