Sunday, July 24, 2016

Tango of Perversion (Kostas Karagiannis, 1973)

Hey, would you look at that. This film, by showing us a close-up of a Pennsylvania license plate, is actually trying to convince us that it takes place in... well, Pennsylvania. That's funny, because the film, Tango of Perversion (a.k.a. Tango 2001), is so Greek it hurts. Okay, maybe it's not as Greek as say, oh, I don't know, Zorba The Greek, but it's... (Um, that movie, in truth, is a U.K./Greece co-production, where is Tango of Perversion is full-on Greek.) Whatever. I'm not going to let the film's lame attempt to trick me into thinking that this movie is anything but Greek dampen my enjoyment of what is a pretty sleazy enterprise. And I mean that as a compliment. Anyway, it was, I must say, refreshing to see a piece of filmed entertainment that boasted characters I admired. In the majority of movies I watch, the people in them are doing crap I don't care about. Talking to each other in a respectful manner, engaging in heterosexual intercourse, saving the galaxy from the forces of evil and/or darkness and not doing shitloads of cocaine, these people make me sick. This flick, however, is chock-full of chronic nail biters, floppy-haired voyeurs, willowy slutbags, needy drug addicts, milfy skanks, suave gigolos, dentally-challenged whores, impotent necrophiliacs, slinky hosebeasts, filthy lesbians and pearl necklace-adorned goddesses. In other words, people I can relate to.

Wait just a gosh darn minute. I just realized that the list of so-called relatable people I just made includes "impotent necrophiliacs." Now, I would like to point out that I, in no way, condone the practice of necrophilia (even the impotent variety). If someone dies, dump their body in the woods. Don't, I repeat, don't, have sex with them. Unless, of course, the person who is about to be dead tells you it's okay. Then have at it, my corpse boning bubala. But otherwise, always dispose of human remains in an orderly fashion. If you find yourself in a bit of a pickle, I suppose it's okay to put the body in a car and push it over a cliff.

Which is exactly the kind of pickle Joachim (Vagelis Voulgaridis) finds himself in on several occasions over the course of this movie. To be fair, I wouldn't call two body-related pickles to be "several." But I think most people will agree that it's more than most people have to deal with during your average week.

Wouldn't you know it, it turns out that Joachim is the impotent necrophiliac I alluded to earlier. And he's a floppy-haired voyeur to boot. Well, at first he was just an impotent voyeur who happened to have floppy hair. It wasn't until his "friend," Steve (Lakis Komninos), a suave gigolo, started accidentally murdering filthy lesbians that Joachim discovered his impotence only applied to the living. Meaning, blood rushes directly to his penis the moment someone shapely dies.

You see, given that Joachim has a swanky pad on the outskirts of town, Steve and Rosita (Dorothy Moore), a filthy lesbian, manipulate him on a regular basis into letting them use his place to shag the women they meet at The Tango nightclub. Completely aware of what Steve and Rosita plan on doing in his home, Joachim has devised a way to watch (and film) their trysts without them knowing it.

Using a one-way mirror, Joachim watches and films Steve and Rosita go at it with a multitude of partners. Things get somewhat complicated when Steve and Rosita want to have sex with the same woman. Angry that Rosita has taken a needy drug addict named Joanna (Erika Raffael) back to Joachim's place, Steve shows up and starts slapping both of them around.

While Joanna manages to run away, Rosita isn't so lucky. While it's obvious that Steve didn't plan on killing Rosita. That's exactly what happens. Instead of calling the police, Steve simply leaves. Cue Joachim's necro-awakening.

Curious to know what Joachim did with Rosita's body (like I said, he just left her there), Steve is shocked to learn that he's playing it cool. Meaning, not only did Joachim not report it to the police, he took it upon himself to get rid of her body. Of course, Joachim doesn't tell Steve that he had sex with Rosita's dead body before he put it in her car and rolled it off a cliff.

This brings up an important question: Who's worse? A man who accidentally murders lesbians, or a man who has sex with said accidentally murdered lesbians after their dead? I have to admit, that's a tough one. Both are kinda scum, but in totally different ways.

On the one hand, Steve represents the worst the 1970s has to offer. Smug, arrogant and totally pompous, Steve treats everyone around him like garbage. While Joachim is shy and nerdy, the complete opposite. That being said, I don't know that many nerds who wear brown leather and crushed purple velvet suits. To be fair, nerds were different during the 1970s. In fact, besides a few social deficiencies here and there, nerds weren't all that dissimilar from normal people back in the 1970s.

Remember earlier when I said that this film was, and I quote: "Chock-full of willowy slutbags, milfy skanks,  dentally-challenged whores, slinky hosebeasts and pearl necklace-adorned goddesses"? Well, I was actually talking about the same person. Now, you're probably thinking to yourself: Damn, this woman has to be pretty freakin' special to be described as a "milfy skank" and a "slinky hosebeast." Well, Jennifer Wynne is pretty freakin' special.

Playing, oh, let's call her, "Magda," Jennifer Wynne's classy sugar mama character is a big fan of Steve's cock, and wants to feel its indisputable hardness pounding inside her vagina on a semi-regular basis. Oh, and how do I know she's "classy"? Um, she wears backless dresses in the middle of the day. Duh. And, of course, these day time backless dresses sport humongous slits.

Despite her piss poor taste in cougar hawks (her lilac-laden vice grip masquerading as a pussy is totally unworthy of Steve's fleshy trouser abomination), Jennifer Wynne still manages to ooze class and sophistication. Unfortunately, Tango of Perversion was Jennifer Wynne's only film appearance. I know, I usually prefer it when actors only do one movie. But I need more Jennifer Wynne.

I mean, look at her. She's fucking fabulous!

Taking place at a time when... Wait a minute. Have I mentioned that this film is good and junk? (Sort of... I guess.) Just checking. It's just that I sometimes get carried away talking about a particular aspect of a film, that I forget to mention if the film is worthwhile or not. Well, it's clear that Tango of Perversion is worthwhile. For starters, the film is called "Tango of Perversion." Seriously, though, if you like Jess Franco and early 1970s Euro-fashions, there's a lot for you to love in this movie.

Quick transition update: Other than my brain continuing to flood my system with copious amounts of fear and doubt, there's nothing new to report (which isn't that shocking... I am, after all, the shyest person in the known universe - I plan on coming out to my mother in 2021 ;)). Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to all the people who left positive comments on my Orlando review (the hardest review I have ever written). If you want to stay updated on my progress, you're probably better off checking my tumblr, Radioactive Lingerie (which is not, by the way, a porn blog... never has been... it's a fashion, aesthetics, Pac-Man puffy sticker and music blog). #Transition Stuff

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