The perfect film to play on a blurry television set overlooking the bar of a garish, porno-friendly nightclub on the outskirts of a once vibrant neighbourhood, Mr. Mike's Mondo Video might not be the most educational of the so-called "mondo" movies I've seen over the past sixty or so years, but it's definitely the most randomly interesting one. A demented and slightly warped product of the mind of Michael O'Donoghue, the video is a disjointed mishmash of dreamlike ideas that go nowhere, yet everywhere at the same time. A heady feat for a film that dares you not to masturbate to Dan Aykroyd's partially webbed feet. Just a second. I can't believe Dan Aykroyd's feet were mentioned before the sight of a statuesque Wendie Malick in radioactive lingerie. I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty messed up. I wonder what compelled me to mention his stinky, misshapen feet as my opening salvo? Very bizarre, very Mondo. Anyway, hit and miss in terms of being tolerable, the film never once goes for the easy laugh. Of course, that could have been because it wasn't funny in the first place (most awesome things are). But the rapid fire nature of the film's overall structure kept things so unpredictable, that you couldn't really focus on what was delightfully stupid and what was insufferably stupid. Either way, the scattershot endeavour, that features everyone from Bill Murray and Deborah Harry to Margot Kidder and Klaus Nomi, is a fascinating document of what Saturday Night Live could have become had the lunatics been given free reign to do what their unhinged brains were designed to do – which is to produce weird comedy that is more unpleasant than it is whimsical.
Oh, and I liked the abundance of bunny rabbits that appear throughout the video, and I have come to the conclusion that Paul Anka's anus is sometimes full of an inordinate amount of poop.
Favourite Mondo Moments:
"American Gals Love Creepy Men"
(Every cool chick in New York City at the time is featured in this bit. Including the sexy Wendie Malick and the lovely Laraine Newman.)
("When I reach down and feel a firm colostomy bag, I know I'm with a real man.")
"Klaus Nomi performs 'Samson & Delia'" and "Looking up Cheryl Tieg's dress"
(I wonder if the crotch they used--I doubt Miss Tiegs allowed her own crotch to be used--is the same crotch Wendie Malick wears on a day-to-day basis?)
"The general hotness of Wendie Malick" and "The insane amount of Rinse Dreamian posturing"
(Uh-huh.)
"Christmas on Other Planets" and "Japanese girls bathing in dolphin blood"
(I couldn't help but notice that one of the light bulbs the Christmas celebrating alien was smashing got away from him/her/it.)
"The demonstration of the Laser Bra 2000" (Featuring the exquisite tallness of Wendie Malick.)
(My outer pervert kept thinking: "Get undressed slower. Slower! The military industrial complex ain't going nowhere." My inner pervert didn't think anything, as she was killed in a horrific blimp accident in the early 1480s. Wait a minute: a "horrific" blimp accident? Yeah, as supposed to a pleasant blimp accident. Prat.)
"Gig Young's groceries" and "Nazi oven mitts"
(Tasteless. In that, Gig will never taste those groceries.)
"Wendie Malick smoking a cigarette while wearing Radioactive Lingerie"
(Try Annie Sprinkle's special secretion sauce - Now banned in Bhutan!)
video uploaded by Shout! Factory
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Wow. There's so much weirdness here I'm speechless.
ReplyDeleteOh, I left you a message on MC.
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ReplyDeleteSorry, had to fix a couple of sloppy spelling mistakes...on to the comment...
ReplyDeleteNow is certainly not the time to be having masturbation fantasies about Dan Aykroyd's fugly feet!
Not when it looks like my very own penis has started a Tumblr account...Get your head out of the clouds, Yum-Yum! Focus!
When were you planning on telling us about Radioactive Lingerie?
I'll get to Wendie Malick later...
This is really cool. Great review as usual.
ReplyDeleteKarim Amir: Too much Wendie Malick? There's a 'u' in favorite? Other than that, I don't see what is so weird about this entry. ;)
ReplyDeleteMr. Canacorn: I wonder what words you misspelled. My money's on "feet."
Judging by some of the Tumblr blogs I've come across over the past few weeks, you'd think the majority of them were operated by penises. (There's a lot of porn out there.) Anyway, I find it to be a good place to dump random pictures.
"When were you planning on telling us about Radioactive Lingerie?"
The plan was to unveil it along with my entry about Mr. Mike's Mondo Video (which, as you can tell, I just did). But the Mondo entry wasn't quite ready (I was dissatisfied with the original screen capture I had taken of Miss Malick and co. shaving their armpits), so hence the delay.
Keith: Thanks, man. Oh, and thanks for introducing me to Caroline Munroe. Yum.
having seen some of th other Mondo videos (Mondo Bizzaro and Mondo NYC) i wonder if this is from the same collection. definitely sounds like its worth a watch either way.
ReplyDeleteMichael O'Donoghue was in the first sketch of the 1st episode of SNL ever if my memory is correct. he tries to teach an imigrant english by having him repeat : 'i-will-feed- your -fingers -to -wolverines.'
A handful of Mr. Mike's Least-Loved Bedtime Tale's are include on the Mondo DVD.
ReplyDeleteI always like JoJo the Human Hotplate.
ReplyDeleteNice dodge on the cat swimming segment. Karim will be forever thankful.
That's weird, I don't remember seeing any cat swimming segment. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat?!? Cat swimming? Do I even want to know? Or should I be calling PETA? :D
ReplyDeleteUh... yeah, an "instructor" can be seen throwing cats into a large swimming pool (this was no kiddie pool). It's true, none of the cats were harmed, physically. But it was still wrong on a multitude of levels.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Karim, truly one of the most "tasteless" bits ever...but like Y said, the cats didn't seem to be physically harmed (after all, they did paddle with their little paws until they reached the sides of the Olympic sized pool). However, whatever trauma these terrorized kitties suffered, well...
ReplyDeleteOk, you know me, and I love animals (including cats) as much as anyone. And yeah, it was way wrong, and went on w-a-a-a-y too long (and in excrutiating slo-mo, yet!). But, if nothing else, it set a definite tone for what was to follow (tho nothing that followed was quite as offensive).
Still, ya gotta remember, those cats weren't physically harmed.