tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91090736791016889062024-03-25T16:08:01.103-04:00House of Self-IndulgenceYum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.comBlogger810125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-29664578351890721202021-05-03T15:58:00.000-04:002021-05-03T15:58:15.609-04:00Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West Part 2: Jammy Glands from the Rio Grande (Rinse Dream, 1993)<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Hw1valeCt0FuYe5NHeIc_GVBOErQK8OuAP8EwpgWdD9H4DEr_bGgN2DO6BhVgmN9XfsrwyZOZPRAPuR54x8KHsLAbDadptfvkeY67kp6TFwugy9f3uqSk9_0pN7-cttpbTXzPtLaROg/s1265/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Glands-Poster-2.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1265" data-original-width="1002" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Hw1valeCt0FuYe5NHeIc_GVBOErQK8OuAP8EwpgWdD9H4DEr_bGgN2DO6BhVgmN9XfsrwyZOZPRAPuR54x8KHsLAbDadptfvkeY67kp6TFwugy9f3uqSk9_0pN7-cttpbTXzPtLaROg/w158-h200/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Glands-Poster-2.jpg" width="158" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Contempt... pure, unadulterated contempt. You can feel it pouring off the screen. If your climax-based discharge resembles molasses, monetize that shit, motherscratcher! You be ejaculating liquid gold! It turns out Rinse Dream detests more than just your erection. Mmm-dee-lish! Is there anything more pantie captivating than manic Manitoba-style cackling, distorted monkey noises and Barbara Bush's pre-gray whisker biscuit? I don't know. I lost my ability to discern nonsense in a parasailing accident over Mauna Loa. This isn't your skeevy uncle's porn, this is a targeted hit job by an erudite man who has had enough. He hates porn. The people who watch it, the people who appear in it, and even the people who make it. And <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West Part 2: Jammy Glands from the Rio Grande</b> </span>solidifies this hatred in the most unambiguous terms possible. In the early 1980's (sometime during Yuri Andropov's brief tenure as leader of USSR), Rinse Dream made two films, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/caf-flesh-rinse-dream-1982.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Cafe Flesh</span></a> and <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/nightdreams-francis-delia-1981.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Nightdreams</span></a>. Both satirized the whole idea of watching people fuck onscreen. It was pretty compelling stuff and was unlike anything that came before it. Fast-forward ten years to the early 1990s, and the satire of those earlier films has been replaced by a full frontal audio-video assault on the very idea of porn. <br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32BoDBG592KsyF1_4UWgALd8eP7RSRKPQJNLxq18Oqqd3bhUXv2lrkTof_ZeWCSnSezearXpLpY4Yq2izAUmXKWlspQ-GCmHTU8rVBl26IFlcPtJCMqhdvCCk-uxl0VtzLisKVkAECiQ/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-5.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32BoDBG592KsyF1_4UWgALd8eP7RSRKPQJNLxq18Oqqd3bhUXv2lrkTof_ZeWCSnSezearXpLpY4Yq2izAUmXKWlspQ-GCmHTU8rVBl26IFlcPtJCMqhdvCCk-uxl0VtzLisKVkAECiQ/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-5.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />I can't confirm this, but I think the executives at Zane Entertainment must have given Rinse Dream some production notes after seeing chapter one. Because unlike the other Rinse Dreams sequels (<a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2009/02/party-doll-go-go-part-2-rinse-dream.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Party Doll A Go-Go! 2</span></a>, I'm looking in your general direction), where the style and tone is pretty much the same as the first film, the style and tone Jammy Glands from Rio Grande is slightly different. There's less dialogue during the sex scenes, the music is more western themed, and the performers wear their cowgirl hats more often (even though they eventually end up being tossed on the floor mid-hump/lick). <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGneGcsKBcerg1jjXRfNiLms370wPUyRqG_UXcFJnb-ylJIboWL6VwNYhDu0M27peEhHnLXflsrQXa_MLzBCx7Lq-pAO_eIJ5QcG85wIek1qmkzOfR9q1TbhXE5OHJngvkiyHOVZ2B3kM/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Rinse-Dream-Escalator-12.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGneGcsKBcerg1jjXRfNiLms370wPUyRqG_UXcFJnb-ylJIboWL6VwNYhDu0M27peEhHnLXflsrQXa_MLzBCx7Lq-pAO_eIJ5QcG85wIek1qmkzOfR9q1TbhXE5OHJngvkiyHOVZ2B3kM/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Rinse-Dream-Escalator-12.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />In order to get around the restrictions placed on him as a visionary, Rinse Dream has decided to go all-in with the text inserts. HUMDINGER! The humour presented in these spruced up newfangled jammy-gland inserts is sharper and even more biting. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue uttered in this debacle slathered boondoggle still needs to find its way into the Smithsonian. Seriously, put it next to Ernest Borgnine's colostomy bag, stat! It's just that the text inserts are so good at rearranging your internal organs without the express written consent of Major League Bocce Ball (Yo! Look at me! I'm being all Italianski over here). Ugh. Burn the pink bra and white cowgirl boots that Sagebrush Sally is wearing. I think I'm gonna vomit spider eggs.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMR9wh2jLTJ4-DW0S7Z-fhsfERwQDgmgy3UhUQMYBkGusIHBVxAzCoCx9haUefuIGVM2b-I_rjSqWwBGHU856dfuCXJXSUqnTwN5gP9mYxOf3GUiF_5luZdPHo1PHhCoJhs7z30QNZeA/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-99.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMR9wh2jLTJ4-DW0S7Z-fhsfERwQDgmgy3UhUQMYBkGusIHBVxAzCoCx9haUefuIGVM2b-I_rjSqWwBGHU856dfuCXJXSUqnTwN5gP9mYxOf3GUiF_5luZdPHo1PHhCoJhs7z30QNZeA/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-99.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgROYxwKrxV1FZAAZOHrsXnmm8v278IdGoXg8aElLTQBBATR7ymzQrHXWCXqW0l00YfH8G44pEBnh8I1f7PKRce4-qV8I_ryqjPleveBMo1cox4BhK9QLzTiy5gURKf5uNTQugSXxc4gBU/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-555.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgROYxwKrxV1FZAAZOHrsXnmm8v278IdGoXg8aElLTQBBATR7ymzQrHXWCXqW0l00YfH8G44pEBnh8I1f7PKRce4-qV8I_ryqjPleveBMo1cox4BhK9QLzTiy5gURKf5uNTQugSXxc4gBU/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-555.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Yeah, I love to watch moist lumpy folds of damaged nerve endings get licked to the sound of bloodcurdling screams and maniacal laughter. I mean, who doesn't? Actually, I don't. (You could fast forward?) What and miss a cheeky text insert? I don't think so... "Rinse Dream makes me feel like... Humpin' Jack Lord's hair." Yes! "Rinse Dream makes me feel... as pretty as red M&M's." Yes! Yes! "Rinse Dream makes me feel like... makin' spam hoagies for a bell tower assassin." Yes! Yes! Yes! This is hilarious, Emma! Rinse Dream has become more self-referential than ever. I also love the way your cum travels to the Lemko-Rusyn People's Republic via your washboard abs. Mount me with your chiseled aqueduct!<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnGqPMLxjRzYGY1FNJm-aifRAhKPFo3U_L1yhZYp86IS7Rp7LP06zYcfsJ73jI_Va0hC7xf57RdJWOaZPPOyKkYrIplOyWemrBLFkTmszw1Zw7Ly20KmQxSNdmo9GM8u2MR8ermySg6Og/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Uh-Huh-09.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnGqPMLxjRzYGY1FNJm-aifRAhKPFo3U_L1yhZYp86IS7Rp7LP06zYcfsJ73jI_Va0hC7xf57RdJWOaZPPOyKkYrIplOyWemrBLFkTmszw1Zw7Ly20KmQxSNdmo9GM8u2MR8ermySg6Og/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Uh-Huh-09.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />I still don't see any stockings. But I do see tumbleweeds. But they ain't exactly tumbling... now are they? I wish I could detach myself from my roots and roll across the Ukrainian countryside. (My dainty feet are about to be slathered in toxic sludge... yet he chooses to stare longingly at my bellybutton lint as it blows across the interstate.)<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUHWIAVWdfwYbQ-gBAkpk5WDvhJIDd1FQ7JtczbG0VIbeZUA0ycTw90uFtrdiHKvdGgzqXGQVNrOF6fgsvs-czAwB8Jih4YRGTPdNhM5rQmSvXGqyf9dD-qnHRtLe3eIkaOhRjvsnRwQ/s903/Richie-Rich-IMG_2605.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="903" data-original-width="677" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQUHWIAVWdfwYbQ-gBAkpk5WDvhJIDd1FQ7JtczbG0VIbeZUA0ycTw90uFtrdiHKvdGgzqXGQVNrOF6fgsvs-czAwB8Jih4YRGTPdNhM5rQmSvXGqyf9dD-qnHRtLe3eIkaOhRjvsnRwQ/w150-h200/Richie-Rich-IMG_2605.JPG" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIy8lBOAaiV4Lj5HPEu1LcZNk9xc9KNjpnpOFl0QSPkhYBMKdq5u33uYi5DZUhSxerX9PUtKZqK-zRP54TADyIUZdxHdGdMiA2YZ-rMa74djaMHNgc-iWEDqxLOvRy9FYa5QH1dnznnw/s903/Richie-Rich-IMG_2606.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="903" data-original-width="677" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIy8lBOAaiV4Lj5HPEu1LcZNk9xc9KNjpnpOFl0QSPkhYBMKdq5u33uYi5DZUhSxerX9PUtKZqK-zRP54TADyIUZdxHdGdMiA2YZ-rMa74djaMHNgc-iWEDqxLOvRy9FYa5QH1dnznnw/w150-h200/Richie-Rich-IMG_2606.JPG" width="150" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />When Cricket (Jeanna Fine) and Sagebrush Sally (Tiffany Million) briefly exchange Pulitzer Prize winning dialogue after T.T. Boy finally coughs up his curdled consignment, I think got hint of a plot. It would seem that Sagebrush Sally, who offers Cricket a peak at her photos of Barbara Bush's nether region, is on her way to the ponderosa to drop off a gross of adult diapers. Papa-oom-mow-mow! Have orgasm--will travel. "Tie me up and make me a KY sundae."<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdv7l15hZfo3VLHwJerx7xiMDUD6D8q8tXfYakpDww_NNdkmWmQl2ZQes-xbouBVamlrS9NDMe7q_9SK2MORIrTJnJPDKvMsRMtNLTHMVKImttQGdRF1b2av3W4cjB_FiIOYVT9AwAAc/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdv7l15hZfo3VLHwJerx7xiMDUD6D8q8tXfYakpDww_NNdkmWmQl2ZQes-xbouBVamlrS9NDMe7q_9SK2MORIrTJnJPDKvMsRMtNLTHMVKImttQGdRF1b2av3W4cjB_FiIOYVT9AwAAc/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Tiffany-Million-2.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-OraAuFaNLD3z6_T40tLAhQa4OUPw2D0cSmUUseMyHBF33hfnFs3g9VbnjBbR1p3YabnpWG89-25wDqK5u_1QPNeYNu3TPS1yRbjq5SSVsiwbuomLECF1WylaVJIPA9oYSQVNXnJI0mg/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-Dandy-7.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-OraAuFaNLD3z6_T40tLAhQa4OUPw2D0cSmUUseMyHBF33hfnFs3g9VbnjBbR1p3YabnpWG89-25wDqK5u_1QPNeYNu3TPS1yRbjq5SSVsiwbuomLECF1WylaVJIPA9oYSQVNXnJI0mg/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-Dandy-7.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Getting back to men and women without hats. There once was a pink cowgirl hat that sat upon the head of a limp fuckface. Then the pink cowgirl hat magically appears on Cricket's head as the limp fuckface muff dives. After only a few seconds of wear, Cricket then tosses the pink cowgirl hat towards a wild west yard sale masquerading as a radioactive New Jersey landfill. Don't you ever accuse Jammy-Glands of not possessing any drama or suspense. Talk about being on the edge of one's seat.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjkAqV9faMudDK_Qm-4nHeXZGHDHnw6KQOuTd0dX_do4vn-S0txZuD7AGnRho_PCW7mlMOhPREt2IanToJOZFuTNnD82oQ5li2a346m1BvG3qPmFCkgIyX_41QRcC1_jVnNblZUjTiqw/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Big-Eyes-006.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjkAqV9faMudDK_Qm-4nHeXZGHDHnw6KQOuTd0dX_do4vn-S0txZuD7AGnRho_PCW7mlMOhPREt2IanToJOZFuTNnD82oQ5li2a346m1BvG3qPmFCkgIyX_41QRcC1_jVnNblZUjTiqw/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Big-Eyes-006.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />The painting that Dr. Caligari has delivered to Dr. Avol's place of residence in the cinematic equivalent of discovering first-rate cunnilingus at the world's worst hot dog stand makes several appearances during Jeanna Fine's third junk pile pussy taste test. I think it's safe to say that I could pick out Jeanna Fine's squishy petunia in a pussy lineup with a breathtaking ease. Anyway, I took the repeated shots of the imprisoned teary-eyed wide-eyed subject to represent the sadness Stephen Sayadian must be feeling. He doesn't really want to be making this movie. And we the audience don't really want to be watching it. But here we are... so, let's try to make the best of it.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiRY7TXjiXv9Yo32Ia5lyayqmXxyz37K5cu7puIWZpvN7nPh6l46VaFzDWkE4YMVYQl_Mi71wEFYqpZbbPbsTTeXRymF8X0pafHY6qSnEaUwMIW1PDxh870CodMOdp4Qvhg-dxvEtRFJw/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Blue-Balls-98.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiRY7TXjiXv9Yo32Ia5lyayqmXxyz37K5cu7puIWZpvN7nPh6l46VaFzDWkE4YMVYQl_Mi71wEFYqpZbbPbsTTeXRymF8X0pafHY6qSnEaUwMIW1PDxh870CodMOdp4Qvhg-dxvEtRFJw/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Blue-Balls-98.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBGnbhtaTj2x0wyXxEWzmsK7bKwMNdFQZeL53tTmPnd7sA0qriLFfd5KXzjjq1GhbLHophHhUVZdsV77PYH79px2gMdWkE8mahbaaOjjBj4V6kCq3EA0Dt_Dqsdm-hrx7gnLqJ2Rsiwkk/s704/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Zane-12.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="704" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBGnbhtaTj2x0wyXxEWzmsK7bKwMNdFQZeL53tTmPnd7sA0qriLFfd5KXzjjq1GhbLHophHhUVZdsV77PYH79px2gMdWkE8mahbaaOjjBj4V6kCq3EA0Dt_Dqsdm-hrx7gnLqJ2Rsiwkk/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Zane-12.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />At the end, Zane tease about there being a Chapter 3 in the works. If I was in charge, <b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West: Even Cowgirls Get Blue Balls</span></b> would be about a saloon located on the outskirts of a radioactive swamp that caters to connoisseurs of chicks with dicks. Run by a woman named Cathy Catheter, she tries her best to turn a profit and keep her harem of wily t-girls safe from the roving bands of ravenous pansexual dope fiends that litter the unforgiving landscape. The film doesn't take place on Earth per se, but in a realm called the Ultra-0-Verse (ul-tra-zero-verse). It rains estrogen, and since not everyone wants to drink estrogen, the only water available is unclouded t-girl cum. Which, of course, Miss Catheter bottles and sells at her saloon. Yee-haw! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPMPY71herJJCzZWsTniaAhNTRFcsHvk7B_JPcYXQ2CHGvdkmY9hNe0AAwDtxx_V_UCE46JL7DT8mZvddBB1UC5a1yEWfRVY0tjieo7JEzkCGI8igBvNIJsoFHBlFTMrza6-5lZ4-bnR0/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-999.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPMPY71herJJCzZWsTniaAhNTRFcsHvk7B_JPcYXQ2CHGvdkmY9hNe0AAwDtxx_V_UCE46JL7DT8mZvddBB1UC5a1yEWfRVY0tjieo7JEzkCGI8igBvNIJsoFHBlFTMrza6-5lZ4-bnR0/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Jeanna-Fine-999.png" width="400" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><br />Huge thank you and howdy to Tom Clark (<a href="http://vorticemortale.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Vortice Mortale</span></a>) for hooking me up with this overstuffed hamper chock full of creamy Rinse Dream goodness.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1qcZYeoWdinOvgRjQQafupoURnVFm0DjSOMkN_GkV-39u4RrYeVwUA4NPS7D0prgAypFWXwHw9nLlEcwWNthMeL08BTep4fsJrrxQYAhE_hyphenhyphenXLX-KHhr9zWopwM0RioHn-KLp9C-1Rc/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande+%252845%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1qcZYeoWdinOvgRjQQafupoURnVFm0DjSOMkN_GkV-39u4RrYeVwUA4NPS7D0prgAypFWXwHw9nLlEcwWNthMeL08BTep4fsJrrxQYAhE_hyphenhyphenXLX-KHhr9zWopwM0RioHn-KLp9C-1Rc/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande+%252845%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW3vrlprCYJF4SL0lyz-LtuHEoMkOE_pvfq8Geeou-gG1D4idURSU0F7xKrJz4GMuPh6QxYj5pBeAANKR_xsFrwYGoPltAIEcKAJfT-N30VGb1R6vJiptZ5RpMcL6Da4Vp1OjeKVYnIbY/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Mmm-dee-lish-43.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW3vrlprCYJF4SL0lyz-LtuHEoMkOE_pvfq8Geeou-gG1D4idURSU0F7xKrJz4GMuPh6QxYj5pBeAANKR_xsFrwYGoPltAIEcKAJfT-N30VGb1R6vJiptZ5RpMcL6Da4Vp1OjeKVYnIbY/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Mmm-dee-lish-43.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTPiBQwxqfIFK6SHeVgBtcpRdD6N1AlBEo_E7ihyU0lrrCb2O6gJ4uJVh_orLMNVdruqR1036eQM1_VSfxveTqIfLbOdjS_H69JvQFMhO2LlVSAw3pBMoa4j4BbVIWP_7AemM01D7Yp6A/s718/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Rinse-Dream.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="718" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTPiBQwxqfIFK6SHeVgBtcpRdD6N1AlBEo_E7ihyU0lrrCb2O6gJ4uJVh_orLMNVdruqR1036eQM1_VSfxveTqIfLbOdjS_H69JvQFMhO2LlVSAw3pBMoa4j4BbVIWP_7AemM01D7Yp6A/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-Jammy-Gland-in-the-Rio-Grande-Rinse-Dream.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"> </p>Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-67124583240913733802021-04-25T22:04:00.000-04:002021-04-25T22:04:57.368-04:00Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West Part 1: The Pillowbiters (Rinse Dream, 1993)<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhasFuOINsyY1h4ynqtVHxd7S2Ye3tWqRGplja1cE6az2X3qxIBxzc26gXzMKEcvfHQgypmDOoIYFHgVmX6QcVaiEOdEju8MKnMz-1iTNYlD0sn6SjtGG-0uv8IiLRoy2ac8AxE-ZL6eDg/s600/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wildwest-Part-1-The-Pillowbiters-1991.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="377" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhasFuOINsyY1h4ynqtVHxd7S2Ye3tWqRGplja1cE6az2X3qxIBxzc26gXzMKEcvfHQgypmDOoIYFHgVmX6QcVaiEOdEju8MKnMz-1iTNYlD0sn6SjtGG-0uv8IiLRoy2ac8AxE-ZL6eDg/w126-h200/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wildwest-Part-1-The-Pillowbiters-1991.jpg" width="126" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">If you really want worry-free protection, I suppose the sanest course of action would be to get yourself some leak-proof panties. Being fresh and dry in and around your secret cubbyhole area is the highest point of development or achievement in some cultures. Holy embalming fluid! I'm currently typing words about <b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West, Chapter 1: The Pillowbiters</span></b>. That's right, all you lonely rangers and prairie princesses, I finally watched Rinse Dream's bung-lashin'... tongue-gashin'... pantie-splashin'...squish-flashin'... pillow-bitin' cowgirl casserole. High concept mockery with a hint of ridicule, it doesn't merely satirize pornography, no, this 89 dollar laser disc eviscerates it. Let me put it this way: If the audience were farm animals who were afflicted with every barnyard ailment known to flesh, their entrails would be scattered all over the floor. Sure, you could keep toasty by hovering over your steaming guts like a ghost, but you would eventually lose consciousness and drift slowly into a shadow-vacant state of nonexistence. This 89 dollar laser disc dares housebound raincoats to manually accelerate time to a more tranquil period, but there's no escaping the Sword of Damocles that hangs over every single frame. Your orgasm is inevitable, but the quality of your orgasm is in constant danger. And I'm comforted by that.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5lJ2cwEjD8xIbCwWW-bbWdkWJRHjzw-A_umOlFUDv-UiFludJnwg-Kyu6u_Q94VMpBIay4-fj8UU0Zawhjs7TGa63XhX7fYLfypBRyhxGLGpfsQoL6eEJrsc5Ihj4A18fW6knJFUJXI/s685/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Sneer-23.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="685" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5lJ2cwEjD8xIbCwWW-bbWdkWJRHjzw-A_umOlFUDv-UiFludJnwg-Kyu6u_Q94VMpBIay4-fj8UU0Zawhjs7TGa63XhX7fYLfypBRyhxGLGpfsQoL6eEJrsc5Ihj4A18fW6knJFUJXI/w400-h300/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Sneer-23.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />It should go without saying but I'm going to say it anyway. All housebound raincoats fear womanly wetness, and many of the early allusions to panty moistness will no doubt cause them distress. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing in that upsets the housebound raincoat/porn hound status quo. It's a bad thing because the producers could see this as an insult toward a large segment of their audience. The balancing act is extremely delicate. On the one hand, Rinse Dream wants to be able express himself as an artist. On the other, he has to do so under a number of constraints. You could say, there's nothing more constraining than mainstream pornography. However, it would seem that Rinse Dream has managed to find a way to have it both ways. Make art, while at the same time, satisfying the needs of the marketplace. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcw7d1agLsytJymNQhz4bMUanUJB7KeNOyi_Ipg-KxM87czCny0OdXEnxght9_FLQcW7LkGzs-wQ0TXcsBLxxsiNGj2xeOQRvQK00ZUgIHrhxEE1R9uwZvSCxMpGmluUeGau-qWA-LwnU/s684/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Jeanna-Fine-45.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="518" data-original-width="684" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcw7d1agLsytJymNQhz4bMUanUJB7KeNOyi_Ipg-KxM87czCny0OdXEnxght9_FLQcW7LkGzs-wQ0TXcsBLxxsiNGj2xeOQRvQK00ZUgIHrhxEE1R9uwZvSCxMpGmluUeGau-qWA-LwnU/w400-h303/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Jeanna-Fine-45.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />There were several moments during <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2021/04/nightdreams-2-rinse-dream-1990.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Nightdreams 2</span></b></a> and <b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Nightdreams 3</span></b> where I thought to myself: Wait a minute! This looks and feels like porn! And I think most people who are the cusp of being cool will agree that looking and feeling like porn is not a good look for Rinse Dream. Thankfully, this 89 dollar laser disc does not look or feel like porn. Oh, make no mistake, it is porn. And a frightfully insipid one at times (there are no stockings or tumbleweeds). But the sustained barrage of semi-confusing statements that do not logically follow from the previous semi-confusing statements, keep you agitated and thoroughly entertained.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_8Gjtq2HAA2lR1wAXz2YTDTR4MFfLUVFVlES_0Hy-BShyphenhyphenMM3b4Cmf25jLaqM4VjgQ6WXB13BDKmS8HAqwnRvpYxnvhkQMOwa-5HMOC7ADC69ZIET1iF6jYX-DEPEUn_KBIRdBiqIhM4/s683/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Ride-Em-223.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="683" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_8Gjtq2HAA2lR1wAXz2YTDTR4MFfLUVFVlES_0Hy-BShyphenhyphenMM3b4Cmf25jLaqM4VjgQ6WXB13BDKmS8HAqwnRvpYxnvhkQMOwa-5HMOC7ADC69ZIET1iF6jYX-DEPEUn_KBIRdBiqIhM4/w400-h306/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Ride-Em-223.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Take, for example, the first five minutes. The sheer volume of uncut giddiness the roll call manages to elicit was off the charts in terms of off-kilter genius. This is the kind of inspired lunacy I want in my Rinse Dream. Every cowgirl is introduced by listing their name, their alias, their occupation and the felonies they've been charged with. <br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWdHIwn5oCgOJ1_u1WM_yTuV6M2RYBhm-qssfa9JTUTzm82drtYOZhMmDfoNEGufBIvdmksFDEH4iiFBYNo4DprFwYM5twL0tOe6MPeodBswnO9PlGVV0ngwTMBwqkshxCpxLKZCslzg/s681/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Tami-1.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="523" data-original-width="681" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWdHIwn5oCgOJ1_u1WM_yTuV6M2RYBhm-qssfa9JTUTzm82drtYOZhMmDfoNEGufBIvdmksFDEH4iiFBYNo4DprFwYM5twL0tOe6MPeodBswnO9PlGVV0ngwTMBwqkshxCpxLKZCslzg/w400-h308/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Tami-1.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3C992RP-qwiGqmp7uBhOn5F3C6lPEhVb_gH5HXumwWwFcgNlAe-zYqCOTfYZlWvHIn4XFia6P8RoCrfRcAm5btK65b9aHhvyLRWbQBKrZJAsKlrqI5EM0TfanyOJJOGT5HF34ivcdjc/s681/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Huh-3.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="681" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3C992RP-qwiGqmp7uBhOn5F3C6lPEhVb_gH5HXumwWwFcgNlAe-zYqCOTfYZlWvHIn4XFia6P8RoCrfRcAm5btK65b9aHhvyLRWbQBKrZJAsKlrqI5EM0TfanyOJJOGT5HF34ivcdjc/w400-h306/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Huh-3.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />It helps to have some knowledge pertaining to 20th century American pop culture. As the bios are filled with references to Earl Scheib, June Allyson, Albert Einstein, Kewpie dolls, Cheese Whiz, Tallulah Bankhead, Raymond Burr, the sneeze guard at an Omaha Sizzler, Dr. Kevorkian, Ethel Merman, Frank Frazetta, Abraham Zapruder and, of course, my personal favourite, Ernest Borgnine. I've been referring to Ernest Borgnine's ass since at least the late '90s. So, to see Rinse Dream reference him as well, brought a tiny misguided tear to my eye.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWPxuzQuhE3fjZb8vQiHJfgA1Ztd8WRgBPDH77QHPlq5cZlfodY9lmLJt0AjlqWk19Cz5WMRKQQbyJFi5WDCXGz8JgYwf3txIiMSyZCI6IdCiKtXsEkFHtjthgVKbP5OrrtTH4AsJK_8/s685/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-GUN-44.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="523" data-original-width="685" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWPxuzQuhE3fjZb8vQiHJfgA1Ztd8WRgBPDH77QHPlq5cZlfodY9lmLJt0AjlqWk19Cz5WMRKQQbyJFi5WDCXGz8JgYwf3txIiMSyZCI6IdCiKtXsEkFHtjthgVKbP5OrrtTH4AsJK_8/w400-h305/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-GUN-44.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />There's a moment when 'Lil Bit (Tami Monroe) asks Cricket (Jeanna Fine) to "tell her more." What takes place next when more is told can best be described as filmed mental illness. It's what dementia must look like when laid out on a dissecting table. I don't know about everyone else, but if the entire movie had been nothing but 'Lil Bit and Cricket going back back and forth like this, I would have been one happy camper. Oooh, yippee! Me thinks that William Shakespeare wishes his poofy limey ass was a pillow-biter.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUlhdtZED7garMMrJSimo0Dy8sVwtKCCF-n0L6ZEkfYtIj41GZVP3yaA_9UBPEDlmBT6AAqyyr6LQ4d6YzfQko1SYdIYx2Hl9CuP-oscZDNHz8Q_s2Y2iOhL6K-a_hHqjZNiPBziByAEM/s688/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Dan-Quayle-Jr.-665.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="688" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUlhdtZED7garMMrJSimo0Dy8sVwtKCCF-n0L6ZEkfYtIj41GZVP3yaA_9UBPEDlmBT6AAqyyr6LQ4d6YzfQko1SYdIYx2Hl9CuP-oscZDNHz8Q_s2Y2iOhL6K-a_hHqjZNiPBziByAEM/w400-h301/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Dan-Quayle-Jr.-665.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTu4lX0T1pRxoZmxq7s4GkhhWQbB90u-xs-YvzCxTyT-Z4WRFpXBk8w7KrWEktq6BOb1XUFe305UUFHvPPO5SCKek1ZszxK5D_P2Jtm-0s4jgM-DDxrtMDoXlnwJVmv9F7r8PNeOwoAU8/s690/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Case-666.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="516" data-original-width="690" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTu4lX0T1pRxoZmxq7s4GkhhWQbB90u-xs-YvzCxTyT-Z4WRFpXBk8w7KrWEktq6BOb1XUFe305UUFHvPPO5SCKek1ZszxK5D_P2Jtm-0s4jgM-DDxrtMDoXlnwJVmv9F7r8PNeOwoAU8/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Case-666.png" width="400" /></a><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKD-A4NyAh3ujv4OuE9p-yxhzt24uZzH5MwGwChmxKuRGFFBqKVuY0CedL_d91llerTksESxsTI4uytSJuWG_AUZBSSTkI4Qeej_M41Ot7Q7pQwgA0Di-WyoKgMD5C1SPVHs5YiQ0NN28/s692/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Dead-Boy-Jerky-667.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="518" data-original-width="692" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKD-A4NyAh3ujv4OuE9p-yxhzt24uZzH5MwGwChmxKuRGFFBqKVuY0CedL_d91llerTksESxsTI4uytSJuWG_AUZBSSTkI4Qeej_M41Ot7Q7pQwgA0Di-WyoKgMD5C1SPVHs5YiQ0NN28/w400-h300/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Dead-Boy-Jerky-667.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Gun-toting Swampy (Melanie Moore) is not Wayne Newton's love child, nor is she the heir to the <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/forbidden-zone-richard-elfman-1980.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Forbidden Zone</span></a> throne. She's a ditch of estrogen and wants to put Cricket in a Chicago overcoat. Call me a saddle-sore that's allergic to ointment, but this has the makings of a plot. Yippee-ki-yay!<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKViWvH1IYlFyb4m-2aCYRizCXw_AreRFICYsXirPp5qJD93zLM-cWGHAR3KK8TpMDpc1sGBhwfyUdQ7QVpbhd41aYOwv1TMx8EHYh9xdBYAtWuxfC1Rg8ys5BJGEcaXk8tqspy7WL0Os/s680/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Tami-009.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="680" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKViWvH1IYlFyb4m-2aCYRizCXw_AreRFICYsXirPp5qJD93zLM-cWGHAR3KK8TpMDpc1sGBhwfyUdQ7QVpbhd41aYOwv1TMx8EHYh9xdBYAtWuxfC1Rg8ys5BJGEcaXk8tqspy7WL0Os/w400-h309/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Tami-009.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Stay tuned, Cricket has an appointment to dine on Sagebrush Sally's whisker biscuit to the sounds of dogs barking and pots and pans being thrown down a flight of stairs. I needs more Double Vision, yo! They're music should be on compact disc. I think Roz from Frasier should have gotten an abortion. Or, at the very least, thrown her foetus off the Space Needle for charity. It's what I would have done.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlld8T9_WCx1gOW_gQ-noGplaUkdXEMupM2cieMvTg6hMx_4j07ggHXVafK6KwSmf1jqDSy9q0UNrOBLINYuT9l6ddqjlZBBAYuFv4B0LT867A9x79PbZUXY-A321zcoRR-C3pFgAW8A/s683/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Girl-Hamper-222.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="683" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlld8T9_WCx1gOW_gQ-noGplaUkdXEMupM2cieMvTg6hMx_4j07ggHXVafK6KwSmf1jqDSy9q0UNrOBLINYuT9l6ddqjlZBBAYuFv4B0LT867A9x79PbZUXY-A321zcoRR-C3pFgAW8A/w400-h299/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Girl-Hamper-222.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMIClIdQ1fJCBzWDA3CoaaXdfoMu7Qpb91xuD0LzbJbBfR5e4iqZ_wLrU0U71VHNVEAN78OIZThncgWk_MIcXhechdGzUJk-8vKZ_Grc4_6ptMa5C1A2Y64Hj9m2bVlXw4PneaoPuAIPc/s681/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Baby-Godzilla-808.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="681" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMIClIdQ1fJCBzWDA3CoaaXdfoMu7Qpb91xuD0LzbJbBfR5e4iqZ_wLrU0U71VHNVEAN78OIZThncgWk_MIcXhechdGzUJk-8vKZ_Grc4_6ptMa5C1A2Y64Hj9m2bVlXw4PneaoPuAIPc/w400-h303/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Baby-Godzilla-808.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />What's a Boise Hamper Cult? Wait, a hamper cult? A Boise Hamper Cult. Ahhh! This 89 dollar laser disc is starting to glitch out on me. No, wait a minute. It's not. Even the text inserts are beginning to question the well-being of everyone involved in what is becoming real twisto stuff. In hindsight, maybe I should have eased into this. Much in the same way the terminally ill CEO of a semi-successful fertilizer company slides into a lukewarm bath.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9tQezIqEz9zNhPPMcJRuFDiKRlfA1OREyUjFZdPc2oUAR4cltPJH9aX7XGecOHJ5W4yMzAYB9EsAuZnjNh0wr_FxK41w-iaqxJpdPVyb5o7LYdoY7HcpgDGhpYkrodPXOh6PN8oOScE/s687/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Swampy-109.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="687" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9tQezIqEz9zNhPPMcJRuFDiKRlfA1OREyUjFZdPc2oUAR4cltPJH9aX7XGecOHJ5W4yMzAYB9EsAuZnjNh0wr_FxK41w-iaqxJpdPVyb5o7LYdoY7HcpgDGhpYkrodPXOh6PN8oOScE/w400-h303/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Swampy-109.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />On Saturday nights, many eons ago, goth-industrial gay boys drank Carling Black Label straight from the bottle. In-between foppish sips, they would look up with a purpose-driven focus. What they saw was chapter one of <b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Untamed Cowgirls of the Wild West</span></b> flickering sinfully on a smallish television propped up on the bar. Everyone in The Catacombs, a nightclub located below the Sanctuary Vampire Sex Bar, would countdown to cowgirl cum, and celebrate the sullying of cow print bed sheets by yelling "squirt!" So, what's a Boise Hamper Cult?!? Ummm...<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuM_W083c0snFAgVK3XnbYEEfOjKH5vHt4sTI2QRcwpXoi2X9SviuljeMs6seAlo1YyJ9myIDFI0kRCMs8WxEGdxvqawfBiD7GbRHHu9g21oiVLENruQWB_kyaksjaX2znJVwHnbQ-N4k/s672/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Jeanna-Tami-333.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="672" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuM_W083c0snFAgVK3XnbYEEfOjKH5vHt4sTI2QRcwpXoi2X9SviuljeMs6seAlo1YyJ9myIDFI0kRCMs8WxEGdxvqawfBiD7GbRHHu9g21oiVLENruQWB_kyaksjaX2znJVwHnbQ-N4k/w400-h306/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Jeanna-Tami-333.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Growing up in the USA during the height of the Cold War probably had a profound effect on Stephen "Rinse Dream" Sayadian. Hence, the reason every single one of his films looks like it takes place in a post-apocalyptic <span class="ILfuVd NA6bn"><span class="hgKElc">El Segundo</span></span>. The threat of atomic weapons looms large over everything. And these films try to capture what life, or, more specifically, hide the salami, would be like for the survivors. Whether you spew a thick and chunky dollop of man-mayo or leak a short metal tube's worth of expired Crystal Pepsi, the post-nuke landscape will shape your sex life in ways peculiar and strange.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvxvIfVhaKqijVnxAWY_P4QLQqzvYLT-PWIsw9RmweXrGTovI572FlCdaXw3ZTlbInbUHFd0ucwrgBm0YLQ_ObyxZpJCKUbUrvg4GkHi1J-hS2KzShUfIfkNIvuj2jMe5uleuOyb0CuIc/s680/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Bean-Curd-Squirt-999.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="680" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvxvIfVhaKqijVnxAWY_P4QLQqzvYLT-PWIsw9RmweXrGTovI572FlCdaXw3ZTlbInbUHFd0ucwrgBm0YLQ_ObyxZpJCKUbUrvg4GkHi1J-hS2KzShUfIfkNIvuj2jMe5uleuOyb0CuIc/w400-h306/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Bean-Curd-Squirt-999.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Let's be honest, shall we? One moment you're stealing a Playboy jigsaw puzzle from your dad's sock drawer, the next you're being told that it's compulsory for pale Anglo-Irish death MILFs with nary an ounce of Neanderthal DNA to get an orchiectomy. In other words: Don't be afraid to put on the pink cowgirl hat of your condemned dollhouse dreams.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7yng1NBeGgO-0EeR_x1BDX90-mMUI_QXiNfE7GgbOlrYDn7Q2DTmps7YSPnwfM_JKr-jO7EPXEf2SpXJgfq1ekyqkjv5iBs6OC1B1UYqBMIhSmv1Z5eOs1bR-3fz34bJi7aSXUex-YP0/s679/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Bean-Curd-Squirt-33.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="516" data-original-width="679" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7yng1NBeGgO-0EeR_x1BDX90-mMUI_QXiNfE7GgbOlrYDn7Q2DTmps7YSPnwfM_JKr-jO7EPXEf2SpXJgfq1ekyqkjv5iBs6OC1B1UYqBMIhSmv1Z5eOs1bR-3fz34bJi7aSXUex-YP0/w400-h304/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Bean-Curd-Squirt-33.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOuI6acAYJlJAKU3kxFHaiMOUPqEazW0tLnewCTCBufhXJzgDqcn3ApNFi50f2taWHcDyS14VUuzH26OSVNmv57rRgjEWRTZERJAhnEzo2RlwVVEL56ALOWwPZ8JAeSCWD-N1G2oxNjQ/s683/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Rinse-Dream-23.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="521" data-original-width="683" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOuI6acAYJlJAKU3kxFHaiMOUPqEazW0tLnewCTCBufhXJzgDqcn3ApNFi50f2taWHcDyS14VUuzH26OSVNmv57rRgjEWRTZERJAhnEzo2RlwVVEL56ALOWwPZ8JAeSCWD-N1G2oxNjQ/w400-h305/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Rinse-Dream-23.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO7hQji-LBphXM01F3RXYZTR0rG5Ljrt-MQA482YvJth6ZeUxIOlrLVQrSJ6RHsd9NaszcYmPb7_u7TkJSNG6EMEUSOWjGvI7njh7Qpl4HAndENMGU5yaXnzPGgu2FGJXWbnuqurqV6qw/s682/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Rinse-Dream-3.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="682" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO7hQji-LBphXM01F3RXYZTR0rG5Ljrt-MQA482YvJth6ZeUxIOlrLVQrSJ6RHsd9NaszcYmPb7_u7TkJSNG6EMEUSOWjGvI7njh7Qpl4HAndENMGU5yaXnzPGgu2FGJXWbnuqurqV6qw/w400-h305/Untamed-Cowgirls-of-the-Wild-West-The-Pillow-Biters-Rinse-Dream-3.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /> <br /></div><div><p></p></div>Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-3310425611988453042021-04-18T22:01:00.000-04:002021-04-18T22:01:01.271-04:00Nightdreams 3 (Rinse Dream, 1991)<p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1W77u7ZuVTety6fk07X3mSJ5hSfRn5noKoSodn3GaYq9Ahy7XBHtOYb5wJQRLnA3UTgWS6qZB5kEBMwIhe4doXDuVdM6gn5f-9No4OB8ueGhcfujh8n2yzAeYQYjm8eP9LuIJl2l0BXQ/s600/Nightdreams-3vhs_12861V3.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="390" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1W77u7ZuVTety6fk07X3mSJ5hSfRn5noKoSodn3GaYq9Ahy7XBHtOYb5wJQRLnA3UTgWS6qZB5kEBMwIhe4doXDuVdM6gn5f-9No4OB8ueGhcfujh8n2yzAeYQYjm8eP9LuIJl2l0BXQ/w130-h200/Nightdreams-3vhs_12861V3.jpg" width="130" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">"Just mention <b>On the Waterfront</b> and she gets... randy pants." So much agreeable agreement is nestling softly between the uppermost point of my... prize winning cerebral playtex. Oh, yes, that's right, <b>Nightdreams 3</b> is here. And while it still could use some more of that sweet, sweet jibber-jabber that I crave so non-lustfully, at least words are uttered. Sure, some of the words uttered are edited in a manner that will make you wish for the quiet that only a quick death by firing squad can provide. But the characters say things and sometimes, get this, they do things. Which I think is a vast improvement over <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2021/04/nightdreams-2-rinse-dream-1990.html" target="_blank">Nightdreams 2</a>. As I always used to say, saying and doing things is the cornerstone of quality cinema. Too bad there are no armpit vaginas or elongated clits in this chapter. You know, if I had a time machine... (You would go back to 1991 and remind Rinse Dream to hire Otis Elwell in order for him make vaginas appear on places where vaginas don't usually go?) Actually, I was thinking about traveling back to 1951. Once there, I would sneak onto the set of <b>Singin' in the Rain</b> and strangle Gene Kelly to death with an orange extension chord. I could probably do both. Hmm. Which reminds me, is the climate inside Tianna's asshole temperate? (You should ask Lauren Brice's tongue, as it gets all up in that ass.) Your aura reeks of the worst kind of cockeyed smugness. I'm the type of person who would not be afraid to ask such questions. I've seen so many assholes pitter-patter over past ten pseudo menstrual cycles. In other words, I watch and observe with the complete opposite of apathy. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioeX3daXFmYnMvtMLpondUvufcB9DC1IgubbkmhZwT8IXam79kkK4FBVT8hQm_9iFiX76qz79oU5XIk4xI5W-c-Ef59kv8jfMiFIbOg241nDfi0bPcu6cIQTmoF6LCpPs-9FVaztuGjyI/s695/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Watching-444.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="695" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioeX3daXFmYnMvtMLpondUvufcB9DC1IgubbkmhZwT8IXam79kkK4FBVT8hQm_9iFiX76qz79oU5XIk4xI5W-c-Ef59kv8jfMiFIbOg241nDfi0bPcu6cIQTmoF6LCpPs-9FVaztuGjyI/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Watching-444.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />You, me, and everyone with eyeballs, should stick our shaved/waxed/zapped hindquarters in the air with the most reckless form of abandon possible, and thank the lucky lord of taint filth that Tianna and Lauren Brice are in this slab of unequivocal art masquerading as an early 1990s shot on video fuck flick. They're wordy healthcare providers in heels.<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisDem1_VZK-0M6Kqb2zEKfZ40u0wMQ1GCMByf2b-u1cKoBMM_aEoD7UEmjFsX0y9N-iT68zGe9luXX9S_or_kyR1WOOZaYnWbxsReyWQFw1xfBfoaqKaCXBhtmlzkClu0-0kWqchT3k6A/s686/Nightdreams-3-Tianna-White-Stockings-23.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="686" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisDem1_VZK-0M6Kqb2zEKfZ40u0wMQ1GCMByf2b-u1cKoBMM_aEoD7UEmjFsX0y9N-iT68zGe9luXX9S_or_kyR1WOOZaYnWbxsReyWQFw1xfBfoaqKaCXBhtmlzkClu0-0kWqchT3k6A/w400-h311/Nightdreams-3-Tianna-White-Stockings-23.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Call me a saline-based electrolyte solution, but aren't high heel shoes meant to be walked in? (What on earth are you babbling about?) Everyone who isn't repugnant, is wearing high heel shoes. But they don't walk anywhere. ("You're a fascinating woman.") I guess Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons was right about one thing, nobody walks in <b>Nightdreams 3</b>. You've got a factoid forming on your breath: Dale Bozzio performed with Frank Zappa in the late 1970s. Rinse Dream worked with Frank Zappa on the album Thing-Fish (they collaborated on an unfinished musical). Moon Unit Zappa has a cameo in the <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-spirit-of-76-lucas-reiner-1990.html" target="_blank">Spirit of '76</a>. I don't think Sonny Bono knew Rinse Dream, but Cher is Armenian. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuqQxFTExOaCS-mxoLy_NT78gP21om97tade8PvMxjLZlt73ib33IjlnYmvB93Wa9xTCNA0v79pIuSTZ71pY_MgT_NwyvqocDwxpaeoeT3RDoTg1wDWpgNHKM7kiH4Sk05IEuK1mBZkeY/s695/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Phone-22.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="695" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuqQxFTExOaCS-mxoLy_NT78gP21om97tade8PvMxjLZlt73ib33IjlnYmvB93Wa9xTCNA0v79pIuSTZ71pY_MgT_NwyvqocDwxpaeoeT3RDoTg1wDWpgNHKM7kiH4Sk05IEuK1mBZkeY/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Phone-22.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fh6-yF32wgAoZWsxaTurUfyMR9sTnLQxGW_OXJgvOiUXlVXrlXQKAkUCWhubXyFKMPDkd2vJIF9x8m9RYtWi3mFxoa-avCGRrUB_qis32389F4qUFR9lVLa2pQAC4OlQ3tT1HqwVAHU/s694/Nightdreams-3-Sharon-Kane-332.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="694" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fh6-yF32wgAoZWsxaTurUfyMR9sTnLQxGW_OXJgvOiUXlVXrlXQKAkUCWhubXyFKMPDkd2vJIF9x8m9RYtWi3mFxoa-avCGRrUB_qis32389F4qUFR9lVLa2pQAC4OlQ3tT1HqwVAHU/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Sharon-Kane-332.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />His cock looks like a vein-adorned U-boat periscope. *ring ring* This Admiral Dönitz' secretary callin', your circumcision has been canceled due to plague-related circumstances beyond the Admiral's control. We ask that you please bear with us. Sucking his cock would be akin to sucking on a rusty drain pipe or a candy cane covered in burnt hair. Speaking of burnt hair, his torso looks like a Brillo pad that has been set alight by a flamethrower. I grew up in an era when flamethrowers were the solution to all of life's problems. But even a flamethrower can't solve this Spironolactone-laced pickle of a I need to pee predicament. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiauLOSeehz73zLKal_oDItuD00OEMKsaBDFtAPp1pD27_93NvnFJCnDWTm1SeFkge3Ajrr_1sh6EKHQd9_jngocquioqYdQH8wSfpjoa7LNP6cWY1Ky-rWwup467N3Z9TtTx96_y3g3q8/s694/Nightdreams-3-Rope-Bombs-6.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="694" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiauLOSeehz73zLKal_oDItuD00OEMKsaBDFtAPp1pD27_93NvnFJCnDWTm1SeFkge3Ajrr_1sh6EKHQd9_jngocquioqYdQH8wSfpjoa7LNP6cWY1Ky-rWwup467N3Z9TtTx96_y3g3q8/w400-h309/Nightdreams-3-Rope-Bombs-6.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Unlike your Grandma's <span class="aCOpRe"><span>consommé<i>, s</i></span></span><i>ex</i> is something that is never consummated behind closed doors in the Rinse Dream universe. Uh-uh. There's always someone watching. In this video sequel movie thing, Dr. Simone Sledge (Lauren Brice) and Dr. Sirk (Tianna) are the doctors doing the observing. Well, actually, Dr. Sledge is doing more than watching and observing. I know, that's what she says she's doing at the start of the video sequel movie thingamajig. But she's got a cause that she seems pretty passionate about...<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhORHuZ9DAExpBqu8ytnfaM2ydFtc9dez7A5W1yyqL2F2iSjKyKCVqLjq-wQ4h9SQHyKTavKkCLDWJoOPnKvhjaYJ8bIIiAwJA9aSjzRT0ZDU0dAaD1BelMwK0ZwhE3GwwCjZVYuVzrOOc/s698/Nightdreams-3-Testosterone-y-22.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="698" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhORHuZ9DAExpBqu8ytnfaM2ydFtc9dez7A5W1yyqL2F2iSjKyKCVqLjq-wQ4h9SQHyKTavKkCLDWJoOPnKvhjaYJ8bIIiAwJA9aSjzRT0ZDU0dAaD1BelMwK0ZwhE3GwwCjZVYuVzrOOc/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Testosterone-y-22.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Get this, it turns out that Dr. Sledge is running a clinic for wayward transgenders. Providing trans people with access to hormone replacement therapy and gender affirming surgeries, Dr. Sledge is a pioneer when it comes to trans healthcare. What in the criminy?!? I do remember seeing a copy of <b>Boys Don't Cry</b> at a downtown Blockbuster Video that was erroneously placed in the lesbian section. (You rented movies at Blockbuster?) Nah, I was just killing time before the peep show booths opened. Anyway, helping people transition is seen by her colleagues as uncontaminated quackery. By the way, that annoyingly humour challenged transistor-gender individual you keep seeing on your filter bubble didn't become annoyingly humour challenged after they transitioned (with the help of that poorly funded lab on the outskirts of Tiraspol<i>, </i>Transnistra)<span class="aCOpRe"><span><i></i></span></span>, they were <i>always</i> annoyingly humour challenged. So, don't crumble cookie crumbs around me when I'm tryin' to realign my Chakras. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSaJgebvXMR8pYkQKTb91NHoTICeiRq_ARUChbs-n929QONZgLopSa3hyphenhyphenMUwsSODK4iiUdBui9sf4PoJ-AgUYhKGeBtquGzj2jxXSRALDOjoNt_JcJ4bOSP8eNoeN2yoX-K9OtBWTF0c/s695/Nightdreams-3-Bobs-Big-Boy-2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="695" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSaJgebvXMR8pYkQKTb91NHoTICeiRq_ARUChbs-n929QONZgLopSa3hyphenhyphenMUwsSODK4iiUdBui9sf4PoJ-AgUYhKGeBtquGzj2jxXSRALDOjoNt_JcJ4bOSP8eNoeN2yoX-K9OtBWTF0c/w400-h309/Nightdreams-3-Bobs-Big-Boy-2.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />During the Elizabethan era, Tilda Swinton has a Elizabethan era dick, a dirty, pockmarked Elizabethan era dick. But sometime during the Ottoman Empire, Tilda Swinton wakes up with a pussy that may or may not have a yeast infection, a dusty, windswept yeast infection. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4rADFENjR-dhqwn4ef0ei2LeKxlkuXWEaAJK1buHSMG2Ia57P9pT_F7VDf6KkoJX5mb_gIlN5bvAgNl-LhqtTXTDXVygazXnQALmsvaCs_Qzi-dryg6DMjjx8beTEOrDYifEY5Y6SFwc/s694/Nightdreams-3-Longshoreman-32.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="694" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4rADFENjR-dhqwn4ef0ei2LeKxlkuXWEaAJK1buHSMG2Ia57P9pT_F7VDf6KkoJX5mb_gIlN5bvAgNl-LhqtTXTDXVygazXnQALmsvaCs_Qzi-dryg6DMjjx8beTEOrDYifEY5Y6SFwc/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Longshoreman-32.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />A trans man with heavy breasts who longs to be a longshoreman, is paired a bimbo-adjacent cis spark-plug with crimped hair. They have yawn-inducing sex on a bed (a bed that has never once experienced a normal human nap) set to a Jan Hammer-esque slow jam. After this tawaudrey tautou display, Dr. Sirk tries to rebuke Dr. Sledge's approach to helping her patients. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5oWF0n6ejmIxmZBBpoC3HPes6XjZyssfHDR0rCS4n3jt5el-4uOQBJXziVIv5O3PiTC4a8CT888Q-dugkiQa6Zr8Z4XI0K0Ek0OL1r8WVTFea9UK0u6gC23yea9p9mL02ZHP1iucE3kY/s695/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Legs-22.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="695" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5oWF0n6ejmIxmZBBpoC3HPes6XjZyssfHDR0rCS4n3jt5el-4uOQBJXziVIv5O3PiTC4a8CT888Q-dugkiQa6Zr8Z4XI0K0Ek0OL1r8WVTFea9UK0u6gC23yea9p9mL02ZHP1iucE3kY/w400-h309/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-Legs-22.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />This brings us to one of the best exchanges in the entire <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/nightdreams-francis-delia-1981.html" target="_blank">Nightdreams</a> trilogy. Interrupted while reading The Nightmare of Reason: A Life of Franz Kafka, Dr. Sirk gets in Dr. Sledge's face. At one point calling the bosomy doc a cupcake filled with strychnine and a bad rash. It's an amazing exchange. The kind of exchange I found several lacking in <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2021/04/nightdreams-2-rinse-dream-1990.html" target="_blank">Nightdreams 2</a>. To make things even better, both Lauren Brice and Tianna's legs are sheathed in white stockings!<br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjil9050a9fXtAYSk-Rf1Sub6Gn-ve_00adAIGD83F5wyEFg7baWzF9JjU2vBZmxOl0e7YV_xE5HAMsG05Z-Np8z8OJmb1jRj0VBBAK96NV0ViktX7h2FddldprOa2CN9IcUHBNOiWgWAE/s699/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Sharon-23s.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="699" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjil9050a9fXtAYSk-Rf1Sub6Gn-ve_00adAIGD83F5wyEFg7baWzF9JjU2vBZmxOl0e7YV_xE5HAMsG05Z-Np8z8OJmb1jRj0VBBAK96NV0ViktX7h2FddldprOa2CN9IcUHBNOiWgWAE/w400-h305/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Sharon-23s.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />As if contending with belligerent colleagues wasn't enough, Dr. Sledge has to deal with the partners of her trans clients, who seem unsure that "a battery of hormonal treatments" is was what's best for their significant others. The only thing that makes my ash-coloured atrocity quiver ever-so slightly is the sight of Lauren Brice's hi-falutin backdoor density ripple as a direct and/or indirect result of a slamming jimmy that belongs to an unsupportive parent of a trans person. All this talk of slamming jimmies has made me "ravenous for boy jerky." But first I got some literature in the trunk of my car I'd like to show you. <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNEzlnr_9-PwqhfHRHTqSFW0MURwTLdhWSz7zMg6xTFDhDnfmlhE5WVGMRnbjrB4lrPh0ea53jAB5CsnXHCjCehtzuIhoz12fFlLroFofOEWbtyavo9yaH8zUZ2x0k3gerehHFCDW9AJg/s693/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-02.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="693" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNEzlnr_9-PwqhfHRHTqSFW0MURwTLdhWSz7zMg6xTFDhDnfmlhE5WVGMRnbjrB4lrPh0ea53jAB5CsnXHCjCehtzuIhoz12fFlLroFofOEWbtyavo9yaH8zUZ2x0k3gerehHFCDW9AJg/w400-h309/Nightdreams-3-Lauren-Brice-02.png" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />A lot of recycled ideas are employed... teetering into the realm of self-parody at times, <b>Nightdreams 3</b> is a slight improvement following <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2021/04/nightdreams-2-rinse-dream-1990.html" target="_blank">Nightdreams 2</a>. By adding more dialogue and fleshing out the characters a bit, Rinse Dream redeems himself... a tad. Plus, having Sharon Kane play a patient added some class to the proceedings. She has tiny ears, frail ankles and delicate wrists. However, her clit is normal sized and her armpits are devoid of cavities... vaginal or otherwise... so, boooo! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <br /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0ZYjdF6wxohNCa3izklBajDlg70r_QwtZjDV-YAhhNcEQPRm40MshSp5tftCea6PFCUDq6SKDRYuezZW9e_isjDC5w4HefqFZTiOB_46FEyea0khaNTBLEXb7CmLZTgmjWvLxeANWA0/s690/Nightdreams-3-Bombs-4.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="690" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0ZYjdF6wxohNCa3izklBajDlg70r_QwtZjDV-YAhhNcEQPRm40MshSp5tftCea6PFCUDq6SKDRYuezZW9e_isjDC5w4HefqFZTiOB_46FEyea0khaNTBLEXb7CmLZTgmjWvLxeANWA0/w400-h310/Nightdreams-3-Bombs-4.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86dvT91YSbBDydiqkGMpOc5-FwubvUMKsKxJ4VTngWmOPb4aWvGsrJsFVRQrDcnSmOSAQjcAfVLPi4uDYhs5B5dMf4og3LscuXxG4gPMO6XSJC_cio5-suJSC5WOzt9ip_NvfRG0PNoA/s693/Nightdreams-3-Kafka-esque-03.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="693" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86dvT91YSbBDydiqkGMpOc5-FwubvUMKsKxJ4VTngWmOPb4aWvGsrJsFVRQrDcnSmOSAQjcAfVLPi4uDYhs5B5dMf4og3LscuXxG4gPMO6XSJC_cio5-suJSC5WOzt9ip_NvfRG0PNoA/w400-h306/Nightdreams-3-Kafka-esque-03.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG3ygnZbUogcvW-nWLnCMb-xLFh1lDArFNSUvtpjvsQNs6bFnKcxGO2B5cVLCy3ThfwOXzuVeiyqsQuP6qFAJjmliHiJ6crZeevENMLYQ-bTyxM1sEELQThMp09izlGEO2ZpsSi8jLSZA/s694/Nightdreams-3-Longshoreman-32.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="694" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG3ygnZbUogcvW-nWLnCMb-xLFh1lDArFNSUvtpjvsQNs6bFnKcxGO2B5cVLCy3ThfwOXzuVeiyqsQuP6qFAJjmliHiJ6crZeevENMLYQ-bTyxM1sEELQThMp09izlGEO2ZpsSi8jLSZA/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Longshoreman-32.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT159ZW6cUEbOwrygCnzqoeUiZ0l4UdlAWRa-jWaWNlsybZREriZbs-shmHkBhsJp7LEpmYgbLgg8TD9GHNOuc4fP5lG1nRJ8j0lUwPJftPjvFydSHqljCEEFUXkFJ0aSKMa5b5uN5MPE/s702/Nightdreams-3-Rinse-Dream-91.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="702" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT159ZW6cUEbOwrygCnzqoeUiZ0l4UdlAWRa-jWaWNlsybZREriZbs-shmHkBhsJp7LEpmYgbLgg8TD9GHNOuc4fP5lG1nRJ8j0lUwPJftPjvFydSHqljCEEFUXkFJ0aSKMa5b5uN5MPE/w400-h306/Nightdreams-3-Rinse-Dream-91.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu4wKXi7zUorfYZf1gYQT6-8qwPEkANmkIVn83BkuExxsZlURyRQUM36pyur_yRZMjqnRI2uNw5ZKVnJO6KQxl2UScnO_meCEWdsmLGtsSRW7koXSm3odOnrloBiinkuVU1kaCAT2L1M/s695/Nightdreams-3-Sharon-Kane-Ankles-0303.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="695" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu4wKXi7zUorfYZf1gYQT6-8qwPEkANmkIVn83BkuExxsZlURyRQUM36pyur_yRZMjqnRI2uNw5ZKVnJO6KQxl2UScnO_meCEWdsmLGtsSRW7koXSm3odOnrloBiinkuVU1kaCAT2L1M/w400-h308/Nightdreams-3-Sharon-Kane-Ankles-0303.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-65990566605150488452021-04-12T00:58:00.000-04:002021-04-12T00:58:23.421-04:00Nightdreams 2 (Rinse Dream, 1990)<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUuTya62h0H36M8sK1EI7OQsSRfpN0sme5f26IccjyEWVrnMZPcKPX4SINUByC92O8nWs7ugNsFv4vBzJTPMiNYsDe2t9skCCtPIni9At1D5lKVc-y7y2UKwAxxxdsA8kr2mYwzE99SQ/s600/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-Box-23.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="379" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUuTya62h0H36M8sK1EI7OQsSRfpN0sme5f26IccjyEWVrnMZPcKPX4SINUByC92O8nWs7ugNsFv4vBzJTPMiNYsDe2t9skCCtPIni9At1D5lKVc-y7y2UKwAxxxdsA8kr2mYwzE99SQ/w126-h200/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-Box-23.jpg" width="126" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How does this work again? You watch a particular movie... then you... uh... do something or something. Speaking of launching pituitary tumors into outer space, I want the specter of my newly constructed lady speckle to be placed inside the smoldering skin pit located under my right arm. Wait, why stop at one underarm? Ooooh! I would like, if it's not too much trouble, to have a festering lady speckle festooned under each arm. Yeah, that sounds like the most reasonable request ever requested from a brain that's totally not covered in blisters. It should go without saying, but I am so looking forward to giving a high-five while wearing a tank top after getting my government subsidized lady speckles. My new lady speckles sparkle in the unforgiving light of day. Think about it, with two gorgeous little slits under each arm, I'll be the most popular girl in this disease-ridden moist towelette of a universe. In case you're wondering, my wet-naps don't violate Sharia law. And to think, I'll have <b>Nightdreams 2</b> to thank for that. Not only for making my already bangin' bod even more delectable, but for single-handedly giving rise to the vaginal armpit deodorant industry. Hold up, <b>Nightdreams 2</b> is written and directed by Rinse Dream! How did this happen? Too be honest, I'm not entirely sure. All I know is, I feel profound sense of relief. Not having a review (a.k.a. words typed in conjunctivitis with projected pus fragments that may cause bemusement and/or bewilderment) pertaining to the sequel to the original <span style="color: #0b5394;"><a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/nightdreams-francis-delia-1981.html" target="_blank">Nightdreams</a></span> on here has always irked me. This has been a long time coming. Of course, there's no way this "video" could live up to the hype I created inside my head over the past ten years. But I was strangely comforted to hear the words, "I know you're watching me" once more. And again. And again... and several more times for good measure.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEqf3VUkFHblsq677xkUU0bLaJ9ZS4nfnALAWjSYDc3lZ3matebj_t3nVgmUM_je8YeK3SCfVy_gvU4s6USvKStcfOCGIsGCqQ0u0hR5HStMeHHR2JZ_rDQIVmUn6ibmYYr83Cs6Fje_k/s540/Nightdreams-2+%25286%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEqf3VUkFHblsq677xkUU0bLaJ9ZS4nfnALAWjSYDc3lZ3matebj_t3nVgmUM_je8YeK3SCfVy_gvU4s6USvKStcfOCGIsGCqQ0u0hR5HStMeHHR2JZ_rDQIVmUn6ibmYYr83Cs6Fje_k/s320/Nightdreams-2+%25286%2529.png" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm reminded of birth defects, scarlet fever and the comment section for the YouTube video about the 33rd Waffen SS Grenadier Division of SS Charlemagne. In that, it's a microcosm of Ahhhh! These people are going to find a way to duplicate themselves. You just wait.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3F9KSzzWp7aRndgxbw4W1YmJD7Et8jc7e_RsX778dCMJtsDusDt16iNKVnZYcSou5VeZeS1r26wlbnYi2d5r5HshdI_nwTIJb2DM5h83jTKBeb1nl6ve-mkhPn5JES0kdSDLcdry6rc/s540/Nightdreams-2-Lauren-Brice-3.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3F9KSzzWp7aRndgxbw4W1YmJD7Et8jc7e_RsX778dCMJtsDusDt16iNKVnZYcSou5VeZeS1r26wlbnYi2d5r5HshdI_nwTIJb2DM5h83jTKBeb1nl6ve-mkhPn5JES0kdSDLcdry6rc/s320/Nightdreams-2-Lauren-Brice-3.png" /></a></div><br />Right off the bat, the music score by Double Vision is funky, groovy, jazzy and is filled with weird ass noises that sound like indigestion. Oh my God! Is Tom Byron going to continue to sport that stupid expression on his face for the entire movie? I hope not. I'll say this about him, his cock has an okay head on its shaft-like shoulders.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRT7j9i10eav5Uz8DSH9_-DttKtLQlwkxDZutrhm-KAYpwpgnrui93fkE9IMPZu-PhNJjiPkIN4cf1Y7Fz_M20qSEDfIW7J_6-nixDgRuRiIgjLvYAWfitMnFZ7FyznfhDYlin6QH83c/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252859%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRT7j9i10eav5Uz8DSH9_-DttKtLQlwkxDZutrhm-KAYpwpgnrui93fkE9IMPZu-PhNJjiPkIN4cf1Y7Fz_M20qSEDfIW7J_6-nixDgRuRiIgjLvYAWfitMnFZ7FyznfhDYlin6QH83c/s320/Nightdreams-2+%252859%2529.png" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi-EuSHQImbo5KnkNI3DffbD7k-nW6L3gjUu2Oq2kaqKTmvCZdLeN2zBn37mDtVVFaaCVkVNrtfjpgmlSWwFeygvh95-D7Vh72AGtBZZuqc6hKwnqrTPY4-JthjBIDpoP0QlY2lzNmvg/s540/Nightdreams-2-Joey-Directs-the-Transgenders-Rinse-Dream-667.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi-EuSHQImbo5KnkNI3DffbD7k-nW6L3gjUu2Oq2kaqKTmvCZdLeN2zBn37mDtVVFaaCVkVNrtfjpgmlSWwFeygvh95-D7Vh72AGtBZZuqc6hKwnqrTPY4-JthjBIDpoP0QlY2lzNmvg/s320/Nightdreams-2-Joey-Directs-the-Transgenders-Rinse-Dream-667.png" /></a></div><br />The fine not-so upstanding citizens who run this... Asylum? Sanatorium? Bed & Breakfast? Clinic? Should really think about getting some less dangerous furniture. Though, it should be noted the reason Joey Silvera looks so shocked as he watches Tianna and Tom Byron perform the longest wet hug in history has nothing to do with unsafe amenities. He's, like, where's Tianna's cock? I bet he's hoping that her character grows a long erectile clitoris at the anterior end of her vulva. I think he would lick that. I mean, like that.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuwel3s9yM8G2zmCAHEDfiHD66mAYbHU9bEVbizBKc5-KpQ6yXVqNWTZZ1ZMjJ2tiMr28iW4_tpeP9siS0pkia1hu2epE0QMxWkWZQ_SXOiF8-N9JlWW_lWCVUViMspRFt8xXt6Lp1wws/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252818%2529.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuwel3s9yM8G2zmCAHEDfiHD66mAYbHU9bEVbizBKc5-KpQ6yXVqNWTZZ1ZMjJ2tiMr28iW4_tpeP9siS0pkia1hu2epE0QMxWkWZQ_SXOiF8-N9JlWW_lWCVUViMspRFt8xXt6Lp1wws/w200-h200/Nightdreams-2+%252818%2529.png" width="200" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhXLOOwkdvOaPS2B30INiYYpLaww23Sc0ibDHLZrabYn3LHHTrbkJrHN39EsanRi6VS_c0KszfwmUD_9-tnUUQ_2rUutd8p0dxncYj56iO7Tr3zUWuJhocT37gDWil6hi84sjWkOIWlzU/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252817%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhXLOOwkdvOaPS2B30INiYYpLaww23Sc0ibDHLZrabYn3LHHTrbkJrHN39EsanRi6VS_c0KszfwmUD_9-tnUUQ_2rUutd8p0dxncYj56iO7Tr3zUWuJhocT37gDWil6hi84sjWkOIWlzU/w200-h200/Nightdreams-2+%252817%2529.png" width="200" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPHpGKjCxx6i1YWpiE_F1Cl1TZBsn1acu_tTaiCFL3jtNunyWcZ6R3HFVt1BosgPxWt3d0pOjL1Zc9MixdYUlUFmf_EGCSjzjkadOmbtT5mWtMmHHo4SmBMUslfs4Wa3VUuW8KmQ09uQ/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252820%2529.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPHpGKjCxx6i1YWpiE_F1Cl1TZBsn1acu_tTaiCFL3jtNunyWcZ6R3HFVt1BosgPxWt3d0pOjL1Zc9MixdYUlUFmf_EGCSjzjkadOmbtT5mWtMmHHo4SmBMUslfs4Wa3VUuW8KmQ09uQ/w200-h200/Nightdreams-2+%252820%2529.png" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZnhSeMrpdBun8ajJqlPvVMTmTgSUNm6yfi4tgOSDP3weq6R9ClYAKzlDfOA2IFdSs53Ai_2Bse4Vs2xm5Wb-J6_HQRJhYUGjFayDX4fXcAZbSr0ZnQ5RPxkYml-g2ymR-N2mYbtP2-4/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252821%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZnhSeMrpdBun8ajJqlPvVMTmTgSUNm6yfi4tgOSDP3weq6R9ClYAKzlDfOA2IFdSs53Ai_2Bse4Vs2xm5Wb-J6_HQRJhYUGjFayDX4fXcAZbSr0ZnQ5RPxkYml-g2ymR-N2mYbtP2-4/w200-h200/Nightdreams-2+%252821%2529.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />While pretending to write on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard, Joey Silvera's Dr. Haunt tells Lauren Brice's Dr. Sledge that he's "gathering data." I don't believe him for a second. He's either using the clipboard to obscure his sort of raging early '90s porno hard on from view or doing a logic-based combinatorics number-placement puzzle. What's that? Maybe he's doing both? Yeah, baby! Multitasking like a boss, yo.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2gom3SthojPl2af9KI8FhNMzrMrojOTtsefYPWEDExMwdmeV-mqPS_WQUoYuN4CfHwnY4M4Opt7wBO1lcJ0f6AOV89yRA7CHVkJvwol1zDY4KCOhB44nOp8kfYNhPFWII5Ht6-qjmPrk/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252833%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2gom3SthojPl2af9KI8FhNMzrMrojOTtsefYPWEDExMwdmeV-mqPS_WQUoYuN4CfHwnY4M4Opt7wBO1lcJ0f6AOV89yRA7CHVkJvwol1zDY4KCOhB44nOp8kfYNhPFWII5Ht6-qjmPrk/s320/Nightdreams-2+%252833%2529.png" /></a></div><br />On moist days, I like to imagine myself as a clitoral chambermaid. One who is gleefully saddled with the task of sifting through uranium soaked soil in search of out of the ordinary orgasm deposits.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGgjpXO_klRmxzUazMO7aHVuJQifKal4bVvPygNBk5FeiZExi_un1ymyN6zWk6-vvn0mJU3y3O35maO10sK3gTvkD3Nb00OZGDDAQ7mcCA4yglHfmqjdkz-czrxkrFddLEXblJY-xN8sc/s540/Nightdreams-2-Shadows-Rinse-Dream-44.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGgjpXO_klRmxzUazMO7aHVuJQifKal4bVvPygNBk5FeiZExi_un1ymyN6zWk6-vvn0mJU3y3O35maO10sK3gTvkD3Nb00OZGDDAQ7mcCA4yglHfmqjdkz-czrxkrFddLEXblJY-xN8sc/s320/Nightdreams-2-Shadows-Rinse-Dream-44.png" /></a></div><br />She cut off her balls because she wanted to frustrate doctors and scientists by rendering the physical representation of her orgasm invisible to the non-glistening eye. Her plan backfires when an elongated clitoris grows in its place. You nurture it by rubbing it. And that's exactly what she does every night before self-induced unconsciousness takes over the luminous cloud that swirls above her head like a tornado. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdI14CO-jffArorvfIQeYLS6KI3hqNoZHp9otqp4R6IpEwIf6MWGSMQX4a7GM2v2TUpwiJ28KpIZvXDL81n9tccaXfYpFLY6KUy3EDqx-XIek8Ph3cP4tSH9I8T5TUxakwDEVyAgJky0/s540/Nightdreams-2+%252829%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdI14CO-jffArorvfIQeYLS6KI3hqNoZHp9otqp4R6IpEwIf6MWGSMQX4a7GM2v2TUpwiJ28KpIZvXDL81n9tccaXfYpFLY6KUy3EDqx-XIek8Ph3cP4tSH9I8T5TUxakwDEVyAgJky0/s320/Nightdreams-2+%252829%2529.png" /></a></div><br />Oooh! Stockings! Remember those? Mouthwatering legs encased in stockings. Oh, yes. While wearing white stockings, Dr. Sledge is talking to a patient in black stockings with her legs wide open. I'm not the best at reading body language, but I think Dr. Sledge is about to starting poking and probing her patient's Lima bean-shaped glandular girl thing with her tongue... all the while bathed in blue rinsey dreamy gutter light.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0tpk1D4rPm0wX9f2780KH148piAjN9w_ede03Zr3a7ZTEQEs8sPiqT2ralfD2d8CFukIS0P26oB1wOxVHTwyzCv7gyhXfKFLYVujjsxK8-gvFCYYW7T5Fs7SCqydmDyq7DEfRQ899i_4/s540/Nightdreams-2-Face-to-Face-eye-2-eye-09.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0tpk1D4rPm0wX9f2780KH148piAjN9w_ede03Zr3a7ZTEQEs8sPiqT2ralfD2d8CFukIS0P26oB1wOxVHTwyzCv7gyhXfKFLYVujjsxK8-gvFCYYW7T5Fs7SCqydmDyq7DEfRQ899i_4/s320/Nightdreams-2-Face-to-Face-eye-2-eye-09.png" /></a></div><br />Quick lucidity-based observation: This feels more like a continuation of the <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-caligari-stephen-sayadian-1989.html" target="_blank">Dr. Caligari</a> universe than it does the <b>Nightdreams</b> one. Hell, even Lauren Brice's voice and mannerisms reminded me of Madeleine Reynal's demented doctor. (So, it's sort of the porn version of <b>Dr. Caligari</b>?) Not quite. One enlarged clit and one armpit vaginal cavity don't make it <b>Dr. Caligari</b>. Uh-uh.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixEgVZl9RufXKqqzy_WPTDPoas5M1Zr2zfQfyTPAQAvbPilJRh2kvBHv0knYBBU9u_TjxlULNG5Qc0jvi8RE_xhrkNrUg_pbBOJJp35J64lf8-By605aaiMoYyBXcxwdoCwXBJ_9ilONg/s540/Nightdreams-2-Tianna-554.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixEgVZl9RufXKqqzy_WPTDPoas5M1Zr2zfQfyTPAQAvbPilJRh2kvBHv0knYBBU9u_TjxlULNG5Qc0jvi8RE_xhrkNrUg_pbBOJJp35J64lf8-By605aaiMoYyBXcxwdoCwXBJ_9ilONg/s320/Nightdreams-2-Tianna-554.png" /></a></div><br />According to the opening credits, the "special" makeup effects were done by Otis Elwell. I know, Otis who? I can't seem to find his name listed among the twenty odd makeup artists who worked on <b>Dr. Caligari</b>. Hmmm. Either way, this motherfucker makes a mean armpit vagina. <br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6cIVKZ3ix67w95NXTq84t7g-evJisa7JQsF0GToHK_YXhqPCmZyj3KB9-V-5VWldgF0Ht9pTvTTqFdm3vj8f5ea5yVfG-z6m25kZia_kji50u-M3aaTtcmmKYFNrfCmxykkGFHgIqKI8/s540/Nightdreams-2-Discerning-Shriek-much-learning-22hustle3.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6cIVKZ3ix67w95NXTq84t7g-evJisa7JQsF0GToHK_YXhqPCmZyj3KB9-V-5VWldgF0Ht9pTvTTqFdm3vj8f5ea5yVfG-z6m25kZia_kji50u-M3aaTtcmmKYFNrfCmxykkGFHgIqKI8/s320/Nightdreams-2-Discerning-Shriek-much-learning-22hustle3.png" /></a></div><br />The way too brief underarm cunnilingus scene is an excellent mix of off-kilter and body horror. And it perfectly encapsulates the idiosyncratic appeal of Rinse Dream. If only the entire film had been able to maintain this level of inventiveness. But let's be realistic, there will be no sentient box of Cream of Wheat at the end of this rainbow.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcc_0_a-yGSXOChop72DWCblYZ5SWokHvAv8ffE8_ueNDyDqQy4j2Ss_9qsq8sh5tfcKtz-I27kdgximJckuKpiz1vPnhXrbvxwx1CJdpN2Y5WgZHwfV-9p_U8XwJayp0D-BU07Al2VF0/s540/Nightdreams-2-Lauren-White-Stockings-90.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcc_0_a-yGSXOChop72DWCblYZ5SWokHvAv8ffE8_ueNDyDqQy4j2Ss_9qsq8sh5tfcKtz-I27kdgximJckuKpiz1vPnhXrbvxwx1CJdpN2Y5WgZHwfV-9p_U8XwJayp0D-BU07Al2VF0/s320/Nightdreams-2-Lauren-White-Stockings-90.png" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7EZ1FkSGS1C4WD_4QHDLJC1BeKBj545piioCf5nylT8fEublvJNhB56wu3XbUATRc2m6Q1nksHemazwglxvDBHYyZkeXwkAlDLJ1-ZL7ToBlhK3ZY21AE3WlebM6uCpnrbRIXGfceAoY/s540/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-1.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7EZ1FkSGS1C4WD_4QHDLJC1BeKBj545piioCf5nylT8fEublvJNhB56wu3XbUATRc2m6Q1nksHemazwglxvDBHYyZkeXwkAlDLJ1-ZL7ToBlhK3ZY21AE3WlebM6uCpnrbRIXGfceAoY/s320/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-1.png" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihOuVBMVXC7aGRYVdkkMFvbd5esiXKtBaSPCScGfnvAmkh4RGYjiNWGPQRmpaUHMO7i2eLeN0nrAwvTJD2aWhfI7DF9JLL5O6jdqMglwCIzbwcKyGRl8n_eYsxoZB35DukjuIuWO_ALFs/s540/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-22.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihOuVBMVXC7aGRYVdkkMFvbd5esiXKtBaSPCScGfnvAmkh4RGYjiNWGPQRmpaUHMO7i2eLeN0nrAwvTJD2aWhfI7DF9JLL5O6jdqMglwCIzbwcKyGRl8n_eYsxoZB35DukjuIuWO_ALFs/s320/Nightdreams-2-Rinse-Dream-22.png" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiYrfSLKuUsqEihn61zrupR5E0NhEyZBfaD_bzxCPtXHnbepPPlzEdNbXgDRRHGfDneT1dMEvvVf3L8Ap1O4HsMAXovbF-MnbO_isegq8svM48jiJzzlK4rFVITHE-pHxx9W0Uf9u1ojU/s540/Nightdreams-2-Stephen-Sayadian-78.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiYrfSLKuUsqEihn61zrupR5E0NhEyZBfaD_bzxCPtXHnbepPPlzEdNbXgDRRHGfDneT1dMEvvVf3L8Ap1O4HsMAXovbF-MnbO_isegq8svM48jiJzzlK4rFVITHE-pHxx9W0Uf9u1ojU/s320/Nightdreams-2-Stephen-Sayadian-78.png" /></a></div><br /> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> <br /></div><p></p>Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-20711203348984004532019-02-18T21:56:00.001-05:002020-10-22T22:23:59.276-04:00The Amateurs (Usama Alshaibi, 2003)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTInitGixlSGKmRew9sowUA1561QSAQ_7PppW_m06LMmqBVoYzO6BhEe6WZdqX-0plNklYEW9gTMyI6OVuyDmhA2MYmAuggcY7z7GaIMbyIqRDYabGAunsGbJrjwRddSRUcqiGHIHsVzk/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-02-01-22h32m35s66.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTInitGixlSGKmRew9sowUA1561QSAQ_7PppW_m06LMmqBVoYzO6BhEe6WZdqX-0plNklYEW9gTMyI6OVuyDmhA2MYmAuggcY7z7GaIMbyIqRDYabGAunsGbJrjwRddSRUcqiGHIHsVzk/s400/vlcsnap-2019-02-01-22h32m35s66.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I don't remember <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fran%C3%A7ois_Truffaut" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">François Truffaut</span></a> or <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Finley" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Karen Finley</span></a> being mentioned in any of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Powers" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ed Powers</span></a>' depressing Dirty Debutantes movies. But then again, I haven't seen all that many (THANK GOD!!!!!). I can see a wall of pornographic videotapes at one of the many adult video retailers I accidentally walked into over and over again back in the day. The innocent faces of the women peering back at me from the cover boxes. Sadness mixed with shame. A boatload of regret. If I remember correctly, the guy behind the counter reeked of hot dogs and rape. <br />
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I think there was a screening room at the back... there was a curtain... so, I couldn't see what was going on... but I recall hearing a lot of moaning.<br />
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People eat Ethiopian food at an Ethiopian restaurant in that location nowadays. <br />
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I wonder if they realize the walls are encrusted with at least twenty years worth of failure-tinged jizz as they make their order.<br />
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So, yeah, Usama Alshaibi's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887084/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_16" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Amateurs</span></a> pays tribute to/mocks/ridicules/celebrates the pathetic hilariousness that is amateur porn.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQyj51R1AljsR2Y8BILBTqAfhVGBxOfltUfaxbmjQ7hID9sCTjVyxgqLygcwV3SoQCnBO6iFoymIzCOpzdX4AUCTZ4zhps5YHZ8dO0qqToF61uhsaSgkFXGO0kbf88ZZhpv72RMlxM_Y/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-02-01-21h46m53s37.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQyj51R1AljsR2Y8BILBTqAfhVGBxOfltUfaxbmjQ7hID9sCTjVyxgqLygcwV3SoQCnBO6iFoymIzCOpzdX4AUCTZ4zhps5YHZ8dO0qqToF61uhsaSgkFXGO0kbf88ZZhpv72RMlxM_Y/s400/vlcsnap-2019-02-01-21h46m53s37.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It opens with two would be performers being interviewed by a director. <br />
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When <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1743726/?ref_=tt_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Camilla Ha</span></a> (as Mini Chang) name-drops Karen Finley (the mom from <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2013/04/you-killed-me-first-richard-kern-1985.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">You Killed Me First</span></a>), I relaxed immediately.<br />
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The conversation that follows is funny and stupid simultaneously. <br />
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The guy in the wig won't perform unless a fish is produced... the director doesn't have any fish... he demands that the two potential performers get with "the suck and the fuck."<br />
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"We don't do kink."<br />
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The next interview is depressing. Uh, yeah. I don't want to talk about it. <br />
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Spoiler alert: "Princess" injured her eye with a pool cue while drinking moonshine. lol<br />
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Reluctant to perform with a woman with one eye... the director tries to convince his non-dashing male lead that it's okay by telling him that: "Not everyone has two eyes."<br />
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When the non-dashing male lead offers to warm up the speculum he's been instructed to insert into Princess' pussy, I nearly lost it. So romantic!<br />
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Next up is Echo and Coco... Um, the wide-eyed Echo needs to take a shit and Coco's filthy white t-shirt gave me a pseudo yeast infection.<br />
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Hi, Billy and Kalyx... thanks... bye! Worst annilingus ever!<br />
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Yay! Woo-hoo! I'm done with the Solar Anus Cinema collection. 🎉 I managed to type words about every single one of them. Of course, I didn't have to... but, in a way, I did. And I'm beaming with misguided pride. What I think I learned is that, um, porn is gay, and that Ukrainian women and sort of Ukrainian women need our support (now more than ever). Now, who wants to order Ethiopian, er, I mean, Thai food?<br />
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-18233937926450144762019-02-15T21:44:00.000-05:002019-02-15T21:44:13.938-05:00Gash (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Always writhing, always opening their oral cavities in ways that are clearly unorthodox.<br />
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This is <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887270/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_6" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gash</span></a>... and there is a gash. <br />
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It's on <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5654419/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Katinka</span></a>'s pelvis.<br />
<br />
It's pretty infected...<br />
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The gash, that is.<br />
<br />
Wait. Is that a dental mouth opener?<br />
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"It's all relative to the size of your steeple."<br />
<br />
Cool.<br />
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You know what else is cool?</div>
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(Your legs encased in black stockings?) </div>
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Well, yeah. But I was thinking about... "Gashed Senses and Crossfire" by Front Line Assembly. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimx4qEjpKsoLAUU_0fyBZHLOMBD7UtYX09gEP9Ea85cstzJ8TIEs9aT96VTywbaIogb2RY_j7VgoKMuMnkDI_4sBeFAvdrEcTT7aHGa-GqBKsNe79QC-hXZipLWTvanQ5JgrMH0NwdrxM/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h55m11s101.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="708" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimx4qEjpKsoLAUU_0fyBZHLOMBD7UtYX09gEP9Ea85cstzJ8TIEs9aT96VTywbaIogb2RY_j7VgoKMuMnkDI_4sBeFAvdrEcTT7aHGa-GqBKsNe79QC-hXZipLWTvanQ5JgrMH0NwdrxM/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h55m11s101.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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At any rate, I love it when <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1741741/?ref_=tt_ov_dr" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Usama Alshaibi</span></a> uses props in his movies. <br />
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Do you remember that knife from <a href="https://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2019/02/slaughtered-pigtails-usama-alshaibi-2001.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Slaughtered Pigtails</span></a>? I was comforted by its appearance, as it was something I could relate to.<br />
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Well, I felt the same way about the dental mouth opener.<br />
<br />
The dental mouth opener caused Katinka to lose control of her saliva.<br />
<br />
And since I like saliva... I nodded approvingly.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I think there's only one more of these things left.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH4a8KAKuGXvWvfpYH_RAkYOLnzLkfpRR8r90jIKI6Q454XQ4GX2Y8OGJXLzgTGFlvBb3fyuQq6MASBkKxTFYS7FuVa0smZg8-igwlYV8-JUa69hqG8zB43c_704H7HmD0_9BuByawVfY/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h54m36s4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="708" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH4a8KAKuGXvWvfpYH_RAkYOLnzLkfpRR8r90jIKI6Q454XQ4GX2Y8OGJXLzgTGFlvBb3fyuQq6MASBkKxTFYS7FuVa0smZg8-igwlYV8-JUa69hqG8zB43c_704H7HmD0_9BuByawVfY/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h54m36s4.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-56968105840931834212019-02-13T21:38:00.000-05:002019-02-13T21:38:01.452-05:00Organ Molly (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_TEu5dW68GEYTFZp5LHKSQ9sUTHdlaXx3e_upC7ts9CJYRcoBXF2x-0HSh9SLMNzRIxUhKnExabpMnSqWi52ikYPoGo1IJoCUw8BvUFLsm25pQa8onR24xhrqHIRtiQRMnpKpjHWXvuc/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h27m13s218.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="706" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_TEu5dW68GEYTFZp5LHKSQ9sUTHdlaXx3e_upC7ts9CJYRcoBXF2x-0HSh9SLMNzRIxUhKnExabpMnSqWi52ikYPoGo1IJoCUw8BvUFLsm25pQa8onR24xhrqHIRtiQRMnpKpjHWXvuc/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h27m13s218.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I just watched Molly Plunk lounge irregularly on a mattress to organ music.<br />
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ORGAN is an HOMONYM</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaBWCHUB5jVZl0Zt8ZIilKXXVylz90X33_wOiXX8IhpVOaqb81S0ZVxHRyZPVxv5CMIFkhluxM-SKB7AjEWLQtgFSWF66T9eRUDSS4kn69aaOPcHhU0DZGJ4RWE9DJBdDwTA-WvX5egqw/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h28m14s57.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="706" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaBWCHUB5jVZl0Zt8ZIilKXXVylz90X33_wOiXX8IhpVOaqb81S0ZVxHRyZPVxv5CMIFkhluxM-SKB7AjEWLQtgFSWF66T9eRUDSS4kn69aaOPcHhU0DZGJ4RWE9DJBdDwTA-WvX5egqw/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h28m14s57.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Molly has organs but they're inside her body for the duration of this film.<br />
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Just in case her skin fails to prevent her organs from spilling out, she has in·gen·ious·ly chosen to encase her lower half in multiple pairs of pantyhose.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWT7N3LDsZ2EtU5tZ5i-R-IM5e_2I5nU35-bPz4yeBpJd2_7yDCGOPV2g5PzsrBsRts6ilLovLf-UeUXBCjazAdrnD-lJFVcRpwTMG2b5t04mqi1sSN_IZT6jVMUM3lEDqGX4d2Ar8uL0/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h29m05s55.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="706" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWT7N3LDsZ2EtU5tZ5i-R-IM5e_2I5nU35-bPz4yeBpJd2_7yDCGOPV2g5PzsrBsRts6ilLovLf-UeUXBCjazAdrnD-lJFVcRpwTMG2b5t04mqi1sSN_IZT6jVMUM3lEDqGX4d2Ar8uL0/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h29m05s55.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Quirky fun-fact: Whenever I used to type the word "pantyhose," a wave of perversion would wash over my aura like a shame-soaked tsunami. But nowadays I can type "pantyhose" with a buttery ease.<br />
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Isn't that interesting?<br />
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(It's on the cusp of being interesting. Meaning, it's sort of interesting)</div>
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Anyway, Molly seems to be having fun... you know, with the semi-naked writhing and all.<br />
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It's like a peep show loop from 1969/1970. But with delusions of artfulness.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAwnUsLUz4HXdKEpRX05_b3SJ68URxreirlriSkCCo0_TYlr_HK-n5N925JP-4bSD662VX9PnOocIjp4-cyuTyVQvlXhxD7g_ogyPO4M4g4AcgeFPr08KiNLJjBgo2j5UlayMH_PzPv8o/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h30m54s124.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="706" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAwnUsLUz4HXdKEpRX05_b3SJ68URxreirlriSkCCo0_TYlr_HK-n5N925JP-4bSD662VX9PnOocIjp4-cyuTyVQvlXhxD7g_ogyPO4M4g4AcgeFPr08KiNLJjBgo2j5UlayMH_PzPv8o/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h30m54s124.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Word on the street is that Molly was paid in burritos to be in this film. <br />
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One burrito at the beginning of filming, another burrito upon completion. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKtsDk33LL4qx2jjxASOIyLlKTEA3Koh-pDXBNMpWt2QO0PXWY-nkpE69yXkQ98688zk_R7THD6VqqourJzzTfKYCvxbFtVUlYNlroMAtTnf1NWp02oxg6gVns7o9NT6DkxAQWZWYJpY/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h32m13s140.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="706" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKtsDk33LL4qx2jjxASOIyLlKTEA3Koh-pDXBNMpWt2QO0PXWY-nkpE69yXkQ98688zk_R7THD6VqqourJzzTfKYCvxbFtVUlYNlroMAtTnf1NWp02oxg6gVns7o9NT6DkxAQWZWYJpY/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-31-21h32m13s140.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Truth be told, I spent the bulk of the film trying to imagine how severe Molly's future hysterectomy scar is going to be.</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-87808818984329954872019-02-10T21:34:00.000-05:002019-02-10T21:34:31.735-05:00Runaway (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaktNdPHESFCEkpCo3tOe40IxWNkATeQhC4mxsf_sIdPl-xtwTn3LHwsBrmyNvbGatt0aBMIYeO9ZfddCI2AopW-22KxUSB0SxI8F_sB7lbBaxUAXFk4Q9PjLQH2ve_2V8sSyw961XeSo/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h29m06s28.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="629" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaktNdPHESFCEkpCo3tOe40IxWNkATeQhC4mxsf_sIdPl-xtwTn3LHwsBrmyNvbGatt0aBMIYeO9ZfddCI2AopW-22KxUSB0SxI8F_sB7lbBaxUAXFk4Q9PjLQH2ve_2V8sSyw961XeSo/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h29m06s28.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A young naked woman dances sheepishly in the dark to dark ambient music (with Del Shannon undertones).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje8NPOxtMTJkcsaEaL6oCWxkvqhyxMUx2UfC4DTyJtCHTfHw-tXqNOyZUZjWUDLL2NQMYalQ5a_UnWtDLDEsVgHNDhUyL5jPZZQmKnKYFm7P-YWCOC852zg0vgeftWQh01K-6Fz9HZ2uw/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h28m22s96.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="629" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje8NPOxtMTJkcsaEaL6oCWxkvqhyxMUx2UfC4DTyJtCHTfHw-tXqNOyZUZjWUDLL2NQMYalQ5a_UnWtDLDEsVgHNDhUyL5jPZZQmKnKYFm7P-YWCOC852zg0vgeftWQh01K-6Fz9HZ2uw/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h28m22s96.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A light shines on her occasionally. <br />
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This light seems to make her even more sheepish.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtV_P203yFPl3ig5LN9IUKgDasHaIlrL3YzczuknZYWbL_25KjcNWGHII_rAMTdOIm-kfVg8QkCLhlLSik09v4x2LokJT6yqPyiuissKYM_0SSg3yYqfpEzWFRSFKHaF3bO2Qz_Nkxmk/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h29m16s126.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="629" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtV_P203yFPl3ig5LN9IUKgDasHaIlrL3YzczuknZYWbL_25KjcNWGHII_rAMTdOIm-kfVg8QkCLhlLSik09v4x2LokJT6yqPyiuissKYM_0SSg3yYqfpEzWFRSFKHaF3bO2Qz_Nkxmk/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h29m16s126.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The film is called <a href="http://runaway./"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span></a><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887248/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_9" target="_blank">Runaway</a>... and I guess the sheepish dancer at the center of it is trapped in some kind of shadowy nightmare world. I'm also guessing that the people in charge of this nightmare world are forcing her to perform in order to foster the sexual arousal of total strangers.</div>
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ziLagAgoPCE" width="360"></iframe><br /></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-4087896872299982222019-02-08T21:31:00.001-05:002019-02-08T21:31:14.953-05:00Patient (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghZOs_VhudLAfpeywI0FOLMQJ_cRog9Mh19adnUc3RGcgKvUgyHJPCN-Z5lsTacbIesCauEnC8fjuKlCUo7dNrzX1i9_lXYAb9zVP7HkD3_h_TQHEhaZfVN6viV4RqCx7B2OIlfRGj72Q/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h46m11s36.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="566" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghZOs_VhudLAfpeywI0FOLMQJ_cRog9Mh19adnUc3RGcgKvUgyHJPCN-Z5lsTacbIesCauEnC8fjuKlCUo7dNrzX1i9_lXYAb9zVP7HkD3_h_TQHEhaZfVN6viV4RqCx7B2OIlfRGj72Q/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h46m11s36.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Naked woman? ✅ </div>
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Naked woman wearing a bandage? ✅<br />
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Writhing? ✅<br />
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Couch? ✅</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsn7zNFeByjtUFxkpA69BAVB86CerX06CSLGytPXKIATuNDS-nY__3z8-ne6mbt8OKjdwl5HEWF_w6yJt8S0sggm2THUMYhsXUnb6Wq_QkaEk5wCcy5YSwrDZnQb7rNcQNuSq26eiClYM/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h46m33s0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="566" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsn7zNFeByjtUFxkpA69BAVB86CerX06CSLGytPXKIATuNDS-nY__3z8-ne6mbt8OKjdwl5HEWF_w6yJt8S0sggm2THUMYhsXUnb6Wq_QkaEk5wCcy5YSwrDZnQb7rNcQNuSq26eiClYM/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h46m33s0.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Torn black knee-high stockings? ✅<br />
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Bongo music? ✅</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKddgzs69gsXvdEf83hrdDfLZS7F-pfUUjhti7JKkqX9hYY9nfxQig9Co-__cmQy1RBkasiWXjoZJfATGY1pLFZLy2S1Qkwe0sxEW0ytbv87DN9el5M5eC7Bs6f7tfdunNcPQqFudMuzo/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h47m31s68.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="566" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKddgzs69gsXvdEf83hrdDfLZS7F-pfUUjhti7JKkqX9hYY9nfxQig9Co-__cmQy1RBkasiWXjoZJfATGY1pLFZLy2S1Qkwe0sxEW0ytbv87DN9el5M5eC7Bs6f7tfdunNcPQqFudMuzo/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h47m31s68.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A shot of the sky to increase the profundity factor? ✅</div>
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Um❓❓❓❓<br />
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🐌🐌🐌🐌 I think that covers everything 🐌🐌🐌🐌 </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnHFvPHndr9ZsqlR0pO_fguTvtu2ZhqiqwvRtFN2upv1AWGArTAcBuDcoDWJM5wnEDkP8mgTtqR-gXPMF3NgcqxnRqElyCaIM0RXY_pznFH2Tm5yEr85CerWMJM_jUhW4KkUgpH9m8B9M/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h47m50s0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="566" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnHFvPHndr9ZsqlR0pO_fguTvtu2ZhqiqwvRtFN2upv1AWGArTAcBuDcoDWJM5wnEDkP8mgTtqR-gXPMF3NgcqxnRqElyCaIM0RXY_pznFH2Tm5yEr85CerWMJM_jUhW4KkUgpH9m8B9M/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h47m50s0.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-70902141225677548482019-02-07T21:45:00.000-05:002019-02-07T21:45:36.180-05:00Spoiled (Usama Alshaibi, 2008)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGQMswmjsKuaRxPsIzSEOnFncjV3SD4o0da1QEdFO7KZWHwUd0ABZkbH4AkbDLnQKCcVNWzF0nSFEYQAN-YoDaHP2__5sgJmE11yRDiuXXivgCfUVL99_fS9TnhjLTEHH438pyluOfik/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h54m33s38.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGQMswmjsKuaRxPsIzSEOnFncjV3SD4o0da1QEdFO7KZWHwUd0ABZkbH4AkbDLnQKCcVNWzF0nSFEYQAN-YoDaHP2__5sgJmE11yRDiuXXivgCfUVL99_fS9TnhjLTEHH438pyluOfik/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h54m33s38.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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OMG! Am I completely mental, or did <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forever_21" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Forever 21</span></a> at one time sell cow print makeup bags with the word "spoiled" written on the side?!?<br />
<br />
I know I could do some research and probably find this out in a jiffy... but I got less important things to do.</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
This is Usama Alshaibi's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887308/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_10" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Spoiled</span></a>, not Stuart Canterbury's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191489/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Spoiled</span></a> from 1987.<br />
<br />
Part of me wishes I was reviewing the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0706066/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Taija Rae</span></a> flick... but the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191489/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Spoiled</span></a> DVD, which came with my shitty Taija Rae collection box set, wouldn't play properly.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vZuU3Yc5TMHniCWoUVHJ_SOW5HqOK2kLTigdGdPuUfe-grRld8QgeotZKMEc_tPhtgKSNva_vBeo1If_TG5h_NFZS1pSsheDQT4-YRBoXhzjRUyZ4asG7XLP9yGHJPhS10bG8Jw2Vu4/s1600/IMG_3417.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vZuU3Yc5TMHniCWoUVHJ_SOW5HqOK2kLTigdGdPuUfe-grRld8QgeotZKMEc_tPhtgKSNva_vBeo1If_TG5h_NFZS1pSsheDQT4-YRBoXhzjRUyZ4asG7XLP9yGHJPhS10bG8Jw2Vu4/s400/IMG_3417.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Tragic.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TtJJfSq50gx3vMcv8mcXaAVYLPbYBS0UJ4-p5xesbw-Oef8KARg2aYFi7LYt7VroazybhyfSoPWI8ZJVK6mKpD2mI3JmebKNdsmuobRUoiIX5Zuf1JfhatWGMwB5Nt1eNL368sbQ7-k/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h56m05s182.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TtJJfSq50gx3vMcv8mcXaAVYLPbYBS0UJ4-p5xesbw-Oef8KARg2aYFi7LYt7VroazybhyfSoPWI8ZJVK6mKpD2mI3JmebKNdsmuobRUoiIX5Zuf1JfhatWGMwB5Nt1eNL368sbQ7-k/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h56m05s182.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Ooooh, but this movie has gummy worms!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1iWzUHGZTv_Q2XPTdmfjOhW_9J9YXKcrlzXNPA9dodVQFUrFIW0x-L-IJO_IyMQGordq2s7kBXZsSwA29rK6mu_GawW87sLs3qzsz-cidro3vZL2Dx76cnTiLlyjynrjnkyN_ABCqFuU/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h55m06s107.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1iWzUHGZTv_Q2XPTdmfjOhW_9J9YXKcrlzXNPA9dodVQFUrFIW0x-L-IJO_IyMQGordq2s7kBXZsSwA29rK6mu_GawW87sLs3qzsz-cidro3vZL2Dx76cnTiLlyjynrjnkyN_ABCqFuU/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h55m06s107.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm not ashamed to tell you this, but I have a soft spot for splosh porn. But that soft spot mostly centers around British splosh porn. You see, British splosh porn has a playful quality about it that I find lacking in, let's say, French splosh porn or Udmurt* splosh porn.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwast6mXLk6sezv58viD0UnXXIrCu_hjuy3OgBUJmhVcwZ6NZqr86f1loKn5aESzRPE7OXAYufhRAMPgGv9jKRVr3A3hKRIfqB4VsLVq40jzpQPO-FwNC7gRRYbGtVdQObHFNzugrz_Dg/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h57m15s114.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwast6mXLk6sezv58viD0UnXXIrCu_hjuy3OgBUJmhVcwZ6NZqr86f1loKn5aESzRPE7OXAYufhRAMPgGv9jKRVr3A3hKRIfqB4VsLVq40jzpQPO-FwNC7gRRYbGtVdQObHFNzugrz_Dg/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h57m15s114.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
This particular splosh porn isn't really splosh porn, it's more of an eating fetish porn. But since most of the food consumed isn't actually ingested (most of the food languishes outside and/or lingers adjacent to the oral cavity), it slowly morphs into being splosh porn.<br />
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Which, in a strange way, I greatly appreciated. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh4X8tUfJkHGMYJcwptG1Zr9B-W63JkXvXcsTqp7AJSxRG0csx-YqkpG6MPLsSYQ3PUjjYr7mbaBPNCI-Qj0fz_3HJGrG_f-MX3vSAehHgAMG-rNe_RNo-oYZ4imkW2QPvV56Ldz1glkY/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h58m56s98.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh4X8tUfJkHGMYJcwptG1Zr9B-W63JkXvXcsTqp7AJSxRG0csx-YqkpG6MPLsSYQ3PUjjYr7mbaBPNCI-Qj0fz_3HJGrG_f-MX3vSAehHgAMG-rNe_RNo-oYZ4imkW2QPvV56Ldz1glkY/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h58m56s98.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look for a store in my area that sells gummy worms.<br />
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* Oh, yeah... I mention Udmurts... it's something I like to do from time to time.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRkBxKV_t21KqL8xPuG9obHagBDoU3zVOBFVwvgGob-02lPfuZx3YivHNgc_a6IpSyHtNrDc2qXAFameW9zMvQndxuU7pvR4ifliIui8PevpMQ8cpSQpUUWq5KmABYoZvnCrR7Ufq0L9o/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h00m07s45.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="522" data-original-width="692" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRkBxKV_t21KqL8xPuG9obHagBDoU3zVOBFVwvgGob-02lPfuZx3YivHNgc_a6IpSyHtNrDc2qXAFameW9zMvQndxuU7pvR4ifliIui8PevpMQ8cpSQpUUWq5KmABYoZvnCrR7Ufq0L9o/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-22h00m07s45.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-7706775445333820402019-02-06T21:43:00.000-05:002019-02-06T21:43:38.997-05:00Traumata (Usama Alshaibi, 2005)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivUhj4OuqZG0Qt4JUCm6XVBoHElNry_XGvgAYrX9A1WWz6eBNHGt30I8ibQ4J9jiwpw8nWY9Uza16PBdEG_yQ99uOUNRds0t8FCzpcENy7ILSXhBQ6Pn4b6wEWK30kjf8Og6tap4SK2_U/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h30m55s196.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="442" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivUhj4OuqZG0Qt4JUCm6XVBoHElNry_XGvgAYrX9A1WWz6eBNHGt30I8ibQ4J9jiwpw8nWY9Uza16PBdEG_yQ99uOUNRds0t8FCzpcENy7ILSXhBQ6Pn4b6wEWK30kjf8Og6tap4SK2_U/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h30m55s196.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yeah, I can totally relate to this... I wore a blister bandage on my back for a full year.<br />
<br />
(You had a blister on your back?)<br />
<br />
No, don't be silly. I used a blister bandage because I had read that this particular type of blister bandage was the best at absorbing evil spirits from the human body.<br />
<br />
And since I own a human body, I thought they would be perfect. <br />
<br />
I stopped wearing blister bandages on my back about a month ago, and, I have to say, I feel pretty good. I'm definitely less agitated. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg0q50aCilfhRjO_njHwmN0gW5Z7Go5tmb5WKvIMwbi9FLkkvY1lOAy3le9FtsvCN6mTvZT98vHh-Nau63O37SY2-Hg3wXwTaPZFNZeTpKBbU6TmiYfpHMb4poYjiSPoPCg1eOXW_QcUE/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h30m42s64.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="442" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg0q50aCilfhRjO_njHwmN0gW5Z7Go5tmb5WKvIMwbi9FLkkvY1lOAy3le9FtsvCN6mTvZT98vHh-Nau63O37SY2-Hg3wXwTaPZFNZeTpKBbU6TmiYfpHMb4poYjiSPoPCg1eOXW_QcUE/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h30m42s64.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Anyway, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887136/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_12" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Traumata</span></a> features a young woman, who probably isn't Ukrianian... Chuvash, perhaps? ...played by <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5656297/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sarah Lynn</span></a>... standing naked covered in bruises and bandages for two minutes.<br />
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It's like a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kern" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Richard Kern</span></a> movie, but without <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Lunch" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lydia Lunch</span></a>'s meaty thighs to distract you.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUFbB3Z8bjSGCootjIhOuClRgbeHlXfD_yWa-RZ_udqVcOjG69n-GpJpAyK5HyIsg6I-qndOiMVrZjDXd_1Xk_R4On_NQFGbke0shFoDXUr1FuPaHfd-YZ0JNdyrROEasPIHvo-U78Yg/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h31m09s77.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="442" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUFbB3Z8bjSGCootjIhOuClRgbeHlXfD_yWa-RZ_udqVcOjG69n-GpJpAyK5HyIsg6I-qndOiMVrZjDXd_1Xk_R4On_NQFGbke0shFoDXUr1FuPaHfd-YZ0JNdyrROEasPIHvo-U78Yg/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h31m09s77.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Just repetitive punk music (Custom Car Commandos... <span class="st"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Anger" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kenneth Anger</span></a> reference</span>) and a pair of sullen eyes staring back at you.<br />
<br />
Injury chic. <br />
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Wound porno.<br />
<br />
Do you or a recently deceased loved one have a tourniquet fetish and a short attention span? Then do I have the movie for you...<br />
<br />
(What movie would that be?)<br />
<br />
Um, the one I'm currently writing about, dumbass.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzsZDWn8EJD5wSb3Wlv7zMbahljT20pucx3xN-N40r1_5XXq4qfkT0J0FYZy2m_Ux_7x3YTNKUiatcEuo1Jw8j-PjJ8zdtGHmfPOe_2U862RV5sZjZigW1uBXUJZbodQxPAzHHde_DHY/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h33m56s208.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="369" data-original-width="442" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpzsZDWn8EJD5wSb3Wlv7zMbahljT20pucx3xN-N40r1_5XXq4qfkT0J0FYZy2m_Ux_7x3YTNKUiatcEuo1Jw8j-PjJ8zdtGHmfPOe_2U862RV5sZjZigW1uBXUJZbodQxPAzHHde_DHY/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-30-21h33m56s208.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-42094970252969100002019-02-05T21:36:00.000-05:002019-02-05T21:36:57.909-05:00Self-Contained (Usama Alshaibi, 2004)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWUP7zlkfKEjJsPutmxgpqb4swJ8bXT8POF7Esx6eqycx6tngf8gfwXWnkmsbMsnKQee6V_iLPHnA6HfcG9TyBRskCt_m10Y3K7a8MHrEXgPqb8ebrnayv4_L9CEK1zcI1vnHDyUrufLk/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h07m56s60.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="626" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWUP7zlkfKEjJsPutmxgpqb4swJ8bXT8POF7Esx6eqycx6tngf8gfwXWnkmsbMsnKQee6V_iLPHnA6HfcG9TyBRskCt_m10Y3K7a8MHrEXgPqb8ebrnayv4_L9CEK1zcI1vnHDyUrufLk/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h07m56s60.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887222/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_14" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Self-Contained</span></a>, Usama Alshaibi films Kristie Alshaibi lying on a hardwood floor covered in plastic wrap.<br />
<br />
Who knows what kind of craziness will transpire... <br />
<br />
Oh, wait a second. She just got out of the plastic wrap.<br />
<br />
Hmm, the film is over.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZyAWEaxsvVryKl1-BL6ftDqvvZP1U27-BoYKSOcL8TR2YGg-pZl-GK4XGcIRvUxknnY-Li87Uz7JwNXSIbNOCot1sNlzHzKvqLldQD2QIqJF0wh-9XH0gWwTZEl8fxViuXSxIiQ-_q3g/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h08m50s85.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="626" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZyAWEaxsvVryKl1-BL6ftDqvvZP1U27-BoYKSOcL8TR2YGg-pZl-GK4XGcIRvUxknnY-Li87Uz7JwNXSIbNOCot1sNlzHzKvqLldQD2QIqJF0wh-9XH0gWwTZEl8fxViuXSxIiQ-_q3g/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h08m50s85.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Funny story. Between the years of, oh, let's say, 1995-2017, I used to carry around a plastic bag in my pocket. <br />
<br />
I did this for two reasons: <br />
<br />
1) I wanted to prevent imaginary coconut-loving parasites from devouring the imaginary coconut-flavoured microbes that used to cover the entirety of my corporeal essence. <br />
<br />
2) The crinkling sound the bag made whenever I would claw at it soothed the ringing in my left ear.<br />
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The reason I stopped carrying around a plastic bag in my pocket is shrouded in mystery. Part of me thinks it has something to do with ingesting an oral tablet that helps reduce the swelling caused by fluid buildup in my tissue. Another of part of me thinks I might have something to do with my sudden lack of interest when it came to worshiping Satan on a semi-regular basis.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL8NT_rMLdJxvGKPGE5zugkwerFJGtgYUhPUim7wLqgvdrzvDhib8ZbzJMCuSKe-ISgVZe6mROFsRri9VKnYKPcooF8CF4cK9WpJf9m9wgg0NQX5lY4_hWZhFAYBCjDqMUvT0p8_n0GGA/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h08m35s187.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="626" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL8NT_rMLdJxvGKPGE5zugkwerFJGtgYUhPUim7wLqgvdrzvDhib8ZbzJMCuSKe-ISgVZe6mROFsRri9VKnYKPcooF8CF4cK9WpJf9m9wgg0NQX5lY4_hWZhFAYBCjDqMUvT0p8_n0GGA/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h08m35s187.png" width="400" /></a><br />
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Either way, the sound of the plastic wrap as it clung to Kristie Alshaibi's struggling body reminded me of my plastic bag years.<br />
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Oh, and in case you were wondering, I used several plastic bags over the course of that lengthy period of time. I didn't use just one. I mean, that would be mashugana.<br />
<br />
Completely mashugana.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1r0eJrHnO6Hx7eypTj-g99sbi6scKonCa_xMAkc70vhvPkIQ1RjW3tNHqq2Z3uXKfCC-lrNPRl6xsjU8TWOmV0uDZlBSaZIZomyLubtCF_nLoof-iFAAv1GRs_fGU3_hgS-1eWA9BxOU/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h07m43s181.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="626" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1r0eJrHnO6Hx7eypTj-g99sbi6scKonCa_xMAkc70vhvPkIQ1RjW3tNHqq2Z3uXKfCC-lrNPRl6xsjU8TWOmV0uDZlBSaZIZomyLubtCF_nLoof-iFAAv1GRs_fGU3_hgS-1eWA9BxOU/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-22h07m43s181.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-80450146194064206832019-02-04T21:32:00.000-05:002019-02-04T22:57:56.418-05:00Slaughtered Pigtails (Usama Alshaibi, 2001)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif90GjGoY5q859lQM8n0E5kjyKPwKigIRoQTaSuytW1U1GDWHT7X2h9McuHWCMQ475Ke7M_zm_FXSAfqTwa40fmLUQAqcvt6fbX2r3EohZHi3wXC06Up-dcVwhMMqgS21UFuW4AOu0Yik/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h43m21s150.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif90GjGoY5q859lQM8n0E5kjyKPwKigIRoQTaSuytW1U1GDWHT7X2h9McuHWCMQ475Ke7M_zm_FXSAfqTwa40fmLUQAqcvt6fbX2r3EohZHi3wXC06Up-dcVwhMMqgS21UFuW4AOu0Yik/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h43m21s150.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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If only every slasher movie was this short and to the point.<br />
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Thank you, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887202/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_17" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Slaughtered Pigtails</span></a>. Thank you for not wasting my time.<br />
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💓💓💓</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipiCXYFIqLqTS92KtNf5bYUzJl0Xr3CE2y6sVy24QRVt_D31kSIpZgykYPPb4BUpOFtX_hl2P1lljaLFP88W0xanFzLsgQ0VSXGwbrX5BaZOuJGqoX2QpTvqCdyq8QPBwYvCNWr_3zJ-Y/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m11s59.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipiCXYFIqLqTS92KtNf5bYUzJl0Xr3CE2y6sVy24QRVt_D31kSIpZgykYPPb4BUpOFtX_hl2P1lljaLFP88W0xanFzLsgQ0VSXGwbrX5BaZOuJGqoX2QpTvqCdyq8QPBwYvCNWr_3zJ-Y/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m11s59.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1PEWC2Deu1XcH8RpNezrUKsx-A26m-FN6z_WYohov2ZfFnuVGClnNytAc4sSSKJOjBKy5WjCBhqC5W2fCGkaiBvxpMZ4sWAIOBPcIdzASgxsj5rPDaHy-k-Qc02urPrxGuGzrD9eSdms/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m12s75.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1PEWC2Deu1XcH8RpNezrUKsx-A26m-FN6z_WYohov2ZfFnuVGClnNytAc4sSSKJOjBKy5WjCBhqC5W2fCGkaiBvxpMZ4sWAIOBPcIdzASgxsj5rPDaHy-k-Qc02urPrxGuGzrD9eSdms/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m12s75.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY2cbm2M-6ZnhUFDEgq2s6sd41h1hSfdNqvhjwUbfZY5CO4-KDZcj2HPuSybqIs3xRniRLimIdcZYR8CFJJXPh3uVUSbqy1PeXMGJYGOPnR12uCTaoMifRGaR0zOZyRdoUnSAaV_uaH3w/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m54s235.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY2cbm2M-6ZnhUFDEgq2s6sd41h1hSfdNqvhjwUbfZY5CO4-KDZcj2HPuSybqIs3xRniRLimIdcZYR8CFJJXPh3uVUSbqy1PeXMGJYGOPnR12uCTaoMifRGaR0zOZyRdoUnSAaV_uaH3w/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h46m54s235.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A sort of Ukrainian woman (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1951436/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Echo Transgression</span></a>) is chased across a field by an unseen assailant.<br />
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Shot from the point-of-view of said assailant, the pursuit is brief but intense.<br />
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I don't want to spoil the ending, but she's caught eventually.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTCbwpOxmloQ1I2TkWyB_FIJM2521YlQprZ5HCO9Br8XB0ylY5iNpZ6r4rDPb9XttuTitX5wqOWNzwEyHUJ6HxzVYAOZMDOgyCmAdsI2WdiRGM0Qsc0lCwa5p9yhLGo-GvU3R-dArLaSM/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h45m53s141.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTCbwpOxmloQ1I2TkWyB_FIJM2521YlQprZ5HCO9Br8XB0ylY5iNpZ6r4rDPb9XttuTitX5wqOWNzwEyHUJ6HxzVYAOZMDOgyCmAdsI2WdiRGM0Qsc0lCwa5p9yhLGo-GvU3R-dArLaSM/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h45m53s141.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A knife appears, and a plastic bag is employed in a manner the inventor of the plastic bag probably didn't intend... or maybe they did intend plastic bags to be used in this manner? If so, you're one sick motherfucker.<br />
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The film's succinctness comes at price, however. I mean, I'm currently lacking an excuse not to go outside and cause as much havoc and mayhem as humanly possible.<br />
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head over to the nearest learning annex and sign up for a macrame class.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1bDsn2YlrnlPoHWGaEAPjkVEWhJFdyu8FXO39cBPJWBKrPMN8dSs6n7RasSvB9s4dMmr4kDZy5k858FzwYTcJVkdukaIGTH1OEn721KVnzHDfamUK5bY35CVFnjJv0ABEEq8akyOFyI/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h45m44s44.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1bDsn2YlrnlPoHWGaEAPjkVEWhJFdyu8FXO39cBPJWBKrPMN8dSs6n7RasSvB9s4dMmr4kDZy5k858FzwYTcJVkdukaIGTH1OEn721KVnzHDfamUK5bY35CVFnjJv0ABEEq8akyOFyI/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-29-21h45m44s44.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-90400193093018754992019-02-03T21:32:00.001-05:002019-02-08T22:18:01.481-05:00Convulsion Expulsion (Usama Alshaibi, 2004)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM6HSVK0CjlnDA47lppKBHC71FaoQ2sDzdFCPLsX0bUvnvlm-WOu1bT7vs6t8xuoDeXH-953gI29C_j9_PFc5bAXgsRQhy-NEfJv-R5f2wOTxFxpEQ5Li4WIY6Gg3WKGCF5xHV_2co6zo/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h00m42s46.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM6HSVK0CjlnDA47lppKBHC71FaoQ2sDzdFCPLsX0bUvnvlm-WOu1bT7vs6t8xuoDeXH-953gI29C_j9_PFc5bAXgsRQhy-NEfJv-R5f2wOTxFxpEQ5Li4WIY6Gg3WKGCF5xHV_2co6zo/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h00m42s46.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I want to bleed like <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5653509/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Echoplasm</span></a> does in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1741741/?ref_=tt_ov_dr" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Usama Alshaibi</span></a>'s <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887230/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Convulsion Expulsion</span></a>. </div>
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Goddammit! </div>
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Whose dick do I need to suck in order to make this happen?</div>
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Arrrgh! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-SE6wgNy_7k_EEMMSDs1TDHyFKPy1R0xV_aWb6OhEEzsv2EMCN2T1DyIYe0Z9vOC4J0ykMLx_7l83stxVo74qo_IURXK1eQ63Kj6QtmPQFZ-L-6peoJCLPQ-iAD1Wfd-hy1KwdQQrWI/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h49m18s130.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-SE6wgNy_7k_EEMMSDs1TDHyFKPy1R0xV_aWb6OhEEzsv2EMCN2T1DyIYe0Z9vOC4J0ykMLx_7l83stxVo74qo_IURXK1eQ63Kj6QtmPQFZ-L-6peoJCLPQ-iAD1Wfd-hy1KwdQQrWI/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h49m18s130.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Don't mind me, I'm crestfallen. </div>
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After not giving it as much thought as I probably should, I think I'm crestfallen because I cannot expel crimson-coloured plasma from my currently cancer-free crevices in a manner that isn't even close to being frightfully churlish.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFib9_OJ5r0clizS3N7LvCCZI8z4w1Bg0x1Iv68HMIv7qe0IFdm1A8f-0CDvrOE8RORkq82WUp8J2017eClRXec63ncx5jsJQXqXMqkGTC1K9PyDSeUQ2i7e2eSqhSv7l-HRsMazQcPSU/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h49m28s227.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFib9_OJ5r0clizS3N7LvCCZI8z4w1Bg0x1Iv68HMIv7qe0IFdm1A8f-0CDvrOE8RORkq82WUp8J2017eClRXec63ncx5jsJQXqXMqkGTC1K9PyDSeUQ2i7e2eSqhSv7l-HRsMazQcPSU/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h49m28s227.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I long to helplessly watch as my blood coagulates on the floor around my bare feet.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjGkxaUKVBlwzHeQjtY3aXafVsWZ7QJnjeOCz5UpW87SSy1joG44ydL1bDXbJwBM7YAS-kDAFnHbAH071AwX-bV7fqC4Z2Mq3XRRZyYk7Uykp4RP6YfoVrP6tf_Cs0Rvo2RzhmXSjAonM/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h50m44s221.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjGkxaUKVBlwzHeQjtY3aXafVsWZ7QJnjeOCz5UpW87SSy1joG44ydL1bDXbJwBM7YAS-kDAFnHbAH071AwX-bV7fqC4Z2Mq3XRRZyYk7Uykp4RP6YfoVrP6tf_Cs0Rvo2RzhmXSjAonM/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-22h50m44s221.png" width="400" /></a> </div>
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<br />
Strawberry shake enemas notwithstanding, not being able to produce a single drop of menstrual blood is taking up a shitload of space in my mind.<br />
<br />
I think the main cause of this has something to do with the fact that I just watched <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887230/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Convulsion Expulsion</span></a>. </div>
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So, if you don't want to envy people who bleed regularly from certain orifices, I would recommend that you don't watch <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2887230/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Convulsion Expulsion</span></a>.</div>
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However, if you get off on being envious of people who can bleed better than you, then by all means... watch it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2z6nyjuyK8tigyDGHKXi1L0EUDkf2sO7lYBtNdXEATyyX_Ge0XyHzLlmi8bIJ2cGHgV5C7F0_jZLJ23f_AYi21FXjUAnidjXf9TPSE-i14PrBYOJBhYUGH4paNbRgHnh6juNC36GmoY/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-21h59m46s255.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2z6nyjuyK8tigyDGHKXi1L0EUDkf2sO7lYBtNdXEATyyX_Ge0XyHzLlmi8bIJ2cGHgV5C7F0_jZLJ23f_AYi21FXjUAnidjXf9TPSE-i14PrBYOJBhYUGH4paNbRgHnh6juNC36GmoY/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-21h59m46s255.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6PlyKOir0SP76W7XjwdpawQq-k1DHcvFNlePooFiwNrsY8MqeEUqogeslrXbNEYKSF23vqI82HweChXQqNVwUSvwUVt2W09UcIfeTeiszZKabpMf__EI9it6bTmfq1Fko-4X5U1bXSNo/s1600/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-21h59m53s71.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="696" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6PlyKOir0SP76W7XjwdpawQq-k1DHcvFNlePooFiwNrsY8MqeEUqogeslrXbNEYKSF23vqI82HweChXQqNVwUSvwUVt2W09UcIfeTeiszZKabpMf__EI9it6bTmfq1Fko-4X5U1bXSNo/s400/vlcsnap-2019-01-27-21h59m53s71.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Besides, it's only six minutes. And it features spastic twitching. YES! <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5653509/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ecoplasm</span></a>'s body movements are alien-esque.White slips! Cool makeup... um, industrial music. And... vaginal bleeding, red rectal nectar spraying wantonly (a convulsing anus is a happy anus) and syrupy mouth blood. </div>
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These things are all very good, by the way. </div>
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Wide-eyed yet again. This no longer feckless, no longer festering Yum-Yum-like creature is looking at stuff, and her brain is responding to said stuff in a way that pleases her greatly.<br />
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Oh, and I have no evidence to back this up, but I'm pretty sure <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5653509/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Echoplasm</span></a> stole my eyes.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxx5Dnch4Xx1Mt2d3I_N1ifd0jNJ7ONkhvmVd2o75Lcc9fyOC7f2JlL5_6OFzfatW-vFVuRkB_j1OxN0qMWpA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-48306474526272748752019-01-20T22:15:00.001-05:002019-01-20T22:15:36.260-05:00 Blood Rage (John Grissmer, 1987)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOB6swN3lAr4vFdNob9AxbSGtknpMn2A5Ux1GpZRHTOlsNuoZQBa173KtjIHciple-rdBL4uTbPPWWZvijRajpQ-kzREOzVP4uqpO9qGjmciU9gZjTxWDTMoaBPa85Sa11l7XBxPr93Vg/s1600/Blood-Rage-Cover-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="433" data-original-width="240" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOB6swN3lAr4vFdNob9AxbSGtknpMn2A5Ux1GpZRHTOlsNuoZQBa173KtjIHciple-rdBL4uTbPPWWZvijRajpQ-kzREOzVP4uqpO9qGjmciU9gZjTxWDTMoaBPa85Sa11l7XBxPr93Vg/s200/Blood-Rage-Cover-1.jpg" width="110" /></a>If your twin sons were running around an expansive Jacksonville, Florida apartment complex murdering people with a machete, you'd drink multiple glasses of wine, too. And you'd probably vacuum the entire apartment, clean the oven, make several phone calls on a rotary telephone, eat Thanksgiving leftovers directly from the refrigerator and pass out in the hall. I mean, think about it. I said, "expansive" apartment complex. In other words, there are plenty of people to murder. Shot in 1983, released in 1987, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085253/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blood Rage</span></a> (a.k.a. Nightmare at Shadow Woods), is a slasher flick with a... Seriously, 1987? You expect me to believe men and women wore shorts that short in 1987? (What are you babbling about?) It's just that I was under the impression that this film was from 1987. And it clearly isn't. Date confusion aside, the film, directed by John Grissmer, has everything you would want from a slasher film and more. The gore is fantastic, the actors who can act (Louise Lasser and Mark Soper) are sort of/kind of amazing and the actors who can't act get killed real good (you know, because the gore is, like I said, fantastic). Of course, I'm not one of those "gore people," but I definitely like to watch people get murdered in ways that are satisfyingly grisly. (And the people in this movie get murdered that way?) Oh, they get murdered "that way," all right. In fact, one lucky bastard gets stabbed in the neck with a fork. A freakin' fork!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1-LSzBGpIpwgZO34Lskb8pyulBtQldbwD4pEhrnjJCr9t80t6jPdW5ARS3QRuPaJtSN7-0iauEVdrG7N8P8inN9pK9R82AcfGJEkmM0-7jW9AvGEtcC2mrO0-RYEM4HDU6_UTaF6GQWQ/s1600/Blood-Rage-52.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1-LSzBGpIpwgZO34Lskb8pyulBtQldbwD4pEhrnjJCr9t80t6jPdW5ARS3QRuPaJtSN7-0iauEVdrG7N8P8inN9pK9R82AcfGJEkmM0-7jW9AvGEtcC2mrO0-RYEM4HDU6_UTaF6GQWQ/s400/Blood-Rage-52.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(Wait, why is he "lucky"? Isn't being stabbed in the neck with a fork a bad thing?) This may come as a surprise, but I would kill to be murdered with a fork in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Rage" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blood Rage</span></a>. Actually, I would consider it to be a honour. No, hear me out. While everyone else around you is being murdered with a machete, your ass is wasted with a fork, which is totally not a machete.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi7n3xBxl9BNMUX9AFuefj5vtQ6vmLW6XTd18fJLrmCvyLReIue8VvLgOg-qgH6ceS1xa9ytXGepEttB4OaL5ssqXvDWRqbvWXW7og3Q5aGqOuR2NZ9jpBDZaHXO_xfuIo2rzfFiefAjw/s1600/Blood-Rage-50.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi7n3xBxl9BNMUX9AFuefj5vtQ6vmLW6XTd18fJLrmCvyLReIue8VvLgOg-qgH6ceS1xa9ytXGepEttB4OaL5ssqXvDWRqbvWXW7og3Q5aGqOuR2NZ9jpBDZaHXO_xfuIo2rzfFiefAjw/s400/Blood-Rage-50.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It should be noted before I continue that the synth score by <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251849/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cr8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Richard Einhorn</span></a> is flat-out awesome.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA_Q5nc2KPvii7dlIE2F9DBaF6nQRLG0fZa2GVj5SQhmauYzwp8HWrN6T1NTCB2gEyLNwkyHpjIOCHb4XfUC-DBOjTiGgcB_XEYABQ6jpuwcQ_1ImW0-_gquMd5kfw3X0Ge_x0m2PeTlQ/s1600/Blood-Rage-34.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA_Q5nc2KPvii7dlIE2F9DBaF6nQRLG0fZa2GVj5SQhmauYzwp8HWrN6T1NTCB2gEyLNwkyHpjIOCHb4XfUC-DBOjTiGgcB_XEYABQ6jpuwcQ_1ImW0-_gquMd5kfw3X0Ge_x0m2PeTlQ/s400/Blood-Rage-34.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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So, yeah, fantastic gore and awesome synths. What more could you want?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Jq304k5gNC-hLXvVUsRuHFSLd1K5tnOagm4cMzMyItis5gXux3M8vDE_pUMQ9DVs3f10kLbzJ0eqlk0eBzPcTT-U_ysItwg3nvnbmXIzVOHmQ-5r0-I6cLXeb_hT9PTKGIbHUKmYNXc/s1600/Blood-Rage-47.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Jq304k5gNC-hLXvVUsRuHFSLd1K5tnOagm4cMzMyItis5gXux3M8vDE_pUMQ9DVs3f10kLbzJ0eqlk0eBzPcTT-U_ysItwg3nvnbmXIzVOHmQ-5r0-I6cLXeb_hT9PTKGIbHUKmYNXc/s400/Blood-Rage-47.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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What's that? You say you need a milfy gold digger in black stockings. Oh, this movie has got you covered, my pervy not yet buttered little crumpet. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAaeVYU-P1pWg-PWh9JtuDsgIGn7m46mZsfGujp7_0c-Fk2HmhipZ5CKilL55pnZI8FzkX-T0-SjoWOLwBw9JQzS0wkfmiv_Jfk7qTiNoobCWxQrWyC8DM324Lcgh6tI2i60b8ELhqLXc/s1600/Blood-Rage-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAaeVYU-P1pWg-PWh9JtuDsgIGn7m46mZsfGujp7_0c-Fk2HmhipZ5CKilL55pnZI8FzkX-T0-SjoWOLwBw9JQzS0wkfmiv_Jfk7qTiNoobCWxQrWyC8DM324Lcgh6tI2i60b8ELhqLXc/s400/Blood-Rage-09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A single mom named Julie (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0073009/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jayne Bentzen</span></a>) thinks she has bagged herself a "rich daddy." Little does she know, that while she was out bagging this fella, Andrea (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0330353/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lisa Randall</span></a>), the college-age woman she hired to babysit her stupid fuckin' baby, has invited over a murderous twin to watch television. And, trust me, this is going to put a serious damper on Julie's social life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio3fA3zi5seLoJ2MGMQi7UwbJyvC6W2FLkxfDGKZ3tWf0DvJA0uOfYhtnWjIlrvx8A6Yu8HCRXhNJNbLXyS3q8XTUjRyp9tRrvECD1iIo3O6xkIJUuqHS8b50tACcTvMX201r-M0EgXdg/s1600/Blood-Rage-42.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio3fA3zi5seLoJ2MGMQi7UwbJyvC6W2FLkxfDGKZ3tWf0DvJA0uOfYhtnWjIlrvx8A6Yu8HCRXhNJNbLXyS3q8XTUjRyp9tRrvECD1iIo3O6xkIJUuqHS8b50tACcTvMX201r-M0EgXdg/s400/Blood-Rage-42.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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To "seal the deal," Julie sheaths her long, milfy stems into a pair sheer black stockings. Yum?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkidmuDZyHyIouTUc-jCXjoH8SOMhNW_iKusxmxdRZA5hBO9TBuCP0209cqwThyphenhyphenvGofxa32mDOwMpur_Ew_h9uC6lwy0C3diINAxecZW7DQfs2DKHYaHW7K7k6ICjBpFWx7CxyvANgqqQ/s1600/Blood-Rage-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkidmuDZyHyIouTUc-jCXjoH8SOMhNW_iKusxmxdRZA5hBO9TBuCP0209cqwThyphenhyphenvGofxa32mDOwMpur_Ew_h9uC6lwy0C3diINAxecZW7DQfs2DKHYaHW7K7k6ICjBpFWx7CxyvANgqqQ/s400/Blood-Rage-11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I know, the twin she invites over, Terry (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0814637/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mark Soper</span></a>), is supposed to be the sane twin. But as we all know, Todd (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0814637/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mark Soper</span></a>), the supposed insane twin, isn't as insane as we were lead to believe.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXupKDqANGIDva5znnbvp8gjEKELVC-PqxuG6tUApoCO2GcUO6xkrTyxzWa7TWTEx-ohbVWTv4_dnlwNOxdi-zWr5utVVJf1aEg7aLfT-B81C7Yo9FT51pnLXkFLEvCRYA-8FwcWz7tIM/s1600/Blood-Rage-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXupKDqANGIDva5znnbvp8gjEKELVC-PqxuG6tUApoCO2GcUO6xkrTyxzWa7TWTEx-ohbVWTv4_dnlwNOxdi-zWr5utVVJf1aEg7aLfT-B81C7Yo9FT51pnLXkFLEvCRYA-8FwcWz7tIM/s400/Blood-Rage-12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It all started at a drive-in theater back in 1974, when a preteen Terry and Todd decide to leave the backseat of their mom's car while she's making out with her boyfriend. Stumbling upon an axe, Terry says: Hey, you know what? I think I'll axe one of these horny teenagers in the face with the axe I just stumbled upon.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrPETTjXF83AaI0vURbeDzrMlO4KbwXaQQhUO2ifx9fi4m3LN6co7Y4NBIB3DuokDDaLxjswELBV3S_6W71w7vOp3RX8eIg2KodCBHggQBtagz_N_lWdZ4JWE8JQj-QCL0J8eIkFT4yE/s1600/Blood-Rage-22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrPETTjXF83AaI0vURbeDzrMlO4KbwXaQQhUO2ifx9fi4m3LN6co7Y4NBIB3DuokDDaLxjswELBV3S_6W71w7vOp3RX8eIg2KodCBHggQBtagz_N_lWdZ4JWE8JQj-QCL0J8eIkFT4yE/s400/Blood-Rage-22.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Not wanting to see his brother get in trouble, Todd grabs the axe... No wait, I think Terry gives Todd the axe and smears blood over his face. Either way, Todd, not Terry, is the one who gets sent to a mental hospital.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjglKcAMQaIEOJU38jCE0bOg-dDSZjQ-8JPJ8Z-lm-QMqOLNn2BaWGwVBUYUruLlf-FJEVaRRWvJCWEsunENz4eIFUix06jn4woKUlsOzvku47S1owgxtBo5fzMYOuLWktYSV7eTigyuSg/s1600/Blood-Rage-37.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjglKcAMQaIEOJU38jCE0bOg-dDSZjQ-8JPJ8Z-lm-QMqOLNn2BaWGwVBUYUruLlf-FJEVaRRWvJCWEsunENz4eIFUix06jn4woKUlsOzvku47S1owgxtBo5fzMYOuLWktYSV7eTigyuSg/s400/Blood-Rage-37.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Fast-forward ten years, and Terry is a semi-popular college student with a semi-attractive girlfriend, Todd's a basket case and their mom, Maddy (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0489837/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Louise Lasser</span></a>) is still trying to find a man (I hear ya, honey).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTyRPbDtuFTlk9vGrTSsuqakKQ2p1JG2gj7_8Ermcg-9rzNYKUXbHo0CfEyZXCvs4A7Up4xVMH3Jvaa2OMTsjFi1HDF3N0utpgaJconGCMLJy5PMpAtIBHZc41PZwmmpsRx5b9O1qK4cs/s1600/Blood-Rage-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTyRPbDtuFTlk9vGrTSsuqakKQ2p1JG2gj7_8Ermcg-9rzNYKUXbHo0CfEyZXCvs4A7Up4xVMH3Jvaa2OMTsjFi1HDF3N0utpgaJconGCMLJy5PMpAtIBHZc41PZwmmpsRx5b9O1qK4cs/s400/Blood-Rage-24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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We quickly learn that Terry is still kind of twitchy when we watch him react to the news that Maddy is going to marry this Brad fuckface, the owner/landlord/whatever of Shadow Woods, the expansive Jacksonville, Florida apartment complex I alluded to earlier.<br />
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Celebrating Thanksgiving with his mother, Brad, Karen (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0330353/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Julie Gordon</span></a>), his semi-attractive girlfriend, and Andrea, a gal who knows how to rock blue eye shadow and dark red lipstick, Terry decides to exploit the fact that his twin brother is rumoured to have escaped "the loony bin" and is heading straight for Shadow Woods to cause a little mayhem.</div>
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And by "exploit," I mean murder people a machete and have the people he hasn't yet murdered with a machete believe it's Todd who's murdering people... with a machete.<br />
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I wonder if the machete matches the drapes.</div>
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In order to increase the body count, the film adds Todd's doctor, her "male helper" and two male students with dark hair. <br />
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And, yes, one of these dark-haired male students is stabbed in the neck with a fork. I won't say which one because I can't... Wait, I think he's the one who is friend-zoned by Karen. Anyway, while the bifurcation, the hand chopping and the severed head dangling in the doorway scenes are all noteworthy, I prefer fork to the neck scene.<br />
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Since I'm a sucker for repeated lines, I gotta say, I loved Terry's constant surprise when he finds out his victim's blood isn't cranberry sauce. And I also gotta say, Mark Soper is not only hot, he's a pretty good actor. And I'm not just saying that because he's playing both Todd and Terry (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2QRny393HY" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Can You Party</span></a>), he's got a strange magnetism about him. Sure, he's doing a bunch of awful things, but you can't help but like the guy.<br />
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The film's strongest performance is easily the one given by Louise Lasser, who, technically, shouldn't be in this movie. I guess <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Tyrrell" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Susan Tyrrell</span></a> was busy that week. Nevertheless, even though the film doesn't really deserve to have her, Louise Lasser brings some much needed class to the proceedings. Though, the class she brings is the slightly demented variety. Acting mostly by herself, the scenes where Maddy struggles to maintain her sanity while her twin sons are running wild around Shadow Woods are oddly compelling.<br />
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I don't know about you, but I found the regular updates as to what Maddy was up to broke up the monotony of the slashing and stabbing that was occurring all around her.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I dug the slashing and stabbing. But every slasher needs a gimmick, and this one's just happens to be slashing and stabbing mixed together with scenes where the mother of twins loses her mind while drinking lots of wine.<br />
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Oh, and I don't usually care about nonsense like this... But the picture quality of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrow_Films" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Arrow Video</span></a> release was pristine. In fact, it's so good, I thought it was a modern day slasher parody when things got underway; the film is so '80s, you can't help but think it's a parody at times. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi049uVK7uRm9T5qriLO6lfopjC2BiwAyTYq32rGn5u96M4_Y50QxnkMujlaf02w39czgYusGQkd7xyfdFrd_fYSB24aM289MI7Ki9Wm2bDobKZEqdJZ7n3kYkrTM3ETIMgRpyftni8b_E/s1600/Blood-Rage-05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi049uVK7uRm9T5qriLO6lfopjC2BiwAyTYq32rGn5u96M4_Y50QxnkMujlaf02w39czgYusGQkd7xyfdFrd_fYSB24aM289MI7Ki9Wm2bDobKZEqdJZ7n3kYkrTM3ETIMgRpyftni8b_E/s400/Blood-Rage-05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I mean, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001646/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t21" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ted Raimi</span></a> plays a bathroom condom salesmen. Genius.</div>
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/K5EeBAcRq-U" width="560"></iframe><br /></div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-5377349137319026272018-10-07T22:11:00.000-04:002018-10-07T22:11:10.290-04:00 Babyface 2 (Alex de Renzy, 1986)<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XdZRFFJXzqgyEkQSPRZyI0IEAGJ1cMerIJjtgVsGa0l8PeEUYDxNpVAiCTUbFVfSPB8FzpTRXA4fZwWWX16Pw_jjmx2wpj-wMk73dUyHdjweIvHj0MqRDnTYDVwfLfq43iFlloUq090/s1600/2cd0cf752534083.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1059" data-original-width="923" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_XdZRFFJXzqgyEkQSPRZyI0IEAGJ1cMerIJjtgVsGa0l8PeEUYDxNpVAiCTUbFVfSPB8FzpTRXA4fZwWWX16Pw_jjmx2wpj-wMk73dUyHdjweIvHj0MqRDnTYDVwfLfq43iFlloUq090/s200/2cd0cf752534083.jpg" width="173" /></a></div>
Ahh, look at me. I'm staring in the general direction of a motion picture of some kind, and, get this, I want to write words about it for some inexplicable reason. Now, I wasn't entirely sure if they still made motion pictures, or, "movies," as they're sometimes referred to. So, just to be safe, I selected one from a time period I knew was rife was movies. 1986, baby! I also picked one that featured plenty of disgustingly beautiful guys unloading lukewarm seminal fluid all over ultra-soft girl flesh. Why? Because that's what I like to pretend I like to watch/wallow in. Duh. I ain't kidding around, when the exhaustive orgy at the centre of Alex de Renzy's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123393/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Babyface 2</span></a> goes into overdrive, I knew I had made the right choice. Actually, I felt a warm tingly sensation (where? I'd rather not say) when Jamie Gillis emerges from the cake at a well-attended bachelorette party taking place in some unnamed porno-soaked iridescent pantie stain of a city. Call me seriously unwell, but I'd rank Jamie Gillis introduction in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123393/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Babyface 2</span></a> to be easily one of the greatest moments in cinema. Hyperbole? Maybe. Well, definitely, maybe, as I don't remember what 'hyperbole' means exactly. Just a second... an exaggerated statement or claim. Right. It might be that, but I swear to Satan, the sight of Jamie Gillis being all gross and slovenly as the stripper at a well-attended bachelorette party taking place in some unnamed rape-tinged overused diaphragm of a city was fucking glorious. Proving that he still knows a thing or two about defying conventions (from an anal and allegorical point of view), Alex de Renzy casts Jamie Gillis instead of, oh, let's say, the frightfully dim Francois Papillon as the stripper.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrpsHoA406rltRXZh8qwbyBeOqXvW7xOZUj9YxhL7X6mOjHDAqrJA1z6JWAMyhjrLFKiUaCWf65gKpaIA6k0CxGg7a2WgbXNpBxah2vRj-8UMBda1cENAJff9I4OS5MRgNdPM4YrbRQw/s1600/Babyface-2-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrpsHoA406rltRXZh8qwbyBeOqXvW7xOZUj9YxhL7X6mOjHDAqrJA1z6JWAMyhjrLFKiUaCWf65gKpaIA6k0CxGg7a2WgbXNpBxah2vRj-8UMBda1cENAJff9I4OS5MRgNdPM4YrbRQw/s400/Babyface-2-04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's a stroke of genius.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCuACT0I0BYxIlFHGjg92yP4aOf5b948eEvnadv7RZ7Cu-EkMGVFJEsDnAd36_k9cpPAD6MFdb_CBo0jMCq_QOeTOMRH98JDXqvYz_GWOuHm20Q3tSEtqmCteZX1UmEu_eNCbtoKoLPI/s1600/Babyface-2-23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCuACT0I0BYxIlFHGjg92yP4aOf5b948eEvnadv7RZ7Cu-EkMGVFJEsDnAd36_k9cpPAD6MFdb_CBo0jMCq_QOeTOMRH98JDXqvYz_GWOuHm20Q3tSEtqmCteZX1UmEu_eNCbtoKoLPI/s400/Babyface-2-23.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Get it? Stroke? Most of the people (i.e. dudes) watching this movie will, at some point, stroke their blood-filled cock for pleasure-related purposes. Don't blame them for doing so, they do the bulk of their thinking with those things. Hmmm, I wonder what Ernest Borgnine's final erection would have thought of that pun? (You mean his final deathbed erection?) Yeah, that erection. I wonder about stuff like that when I'm not ovulating.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3d2dN8GSD-YCP_VFWoDLtJOeQ6wNzPvzodoLvmm-P2IVxBHAufDFaYNXI2afCLVzPSE7eo03dnNvEwqoBgbwz5Q3sD0MtPcO6XzgJtFMGqz0Z85-69BjvWJCG6xw8_yccwdxAKADiVvU/s1600/Babyface-2-54.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3d2dN8GSD-YCP_VFWoDLtJOeQ6wNzPvzodoLvmm-P2IVxBHAufDFaYNXI2afCLVzPSE7eo03dnNvEwqoBgbwz5Q3sD0MtPcO6XzgJtFMGqz0Z85-69BjvWJCG6xw8_yccwdxAKADiVvU/s400/Babyface-2-54.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Anyway, I happen to think Jamie Gillis is gorgeous... in <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2011/09/waterpower-shaun-costello-1977.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Waterpower</span></a> from the mid-1970s. However, this film is from the mid-1980s. In other words, Jamie Gillis, to put it bluntly, looks like a scumbag. Yet, despite his overt scumbaggery, I can't help but overtly love the creepy fucking fuckface fucker.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOy64vXcKPSMZA34flb6DhuU1thyphenhyphen9iJA585yjYV7YsABubXsD-KkU6QYbzRd52mET3XyWpmudrCGnY1mMsTDR6X2JkGMFB_iZMrYqAH4lK532wdQRwQygME7k1WXfu2mAQiRP-L_46Yc/s1600/Babyface-2-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOy64vXcKPSMZA34flb6DhuU1thyphenhyphen9iJA585yjYV7YsABubXsD-KkU6QYbzRd52mET3XyWpmudrCGnY1mMsTDR6X2JkGMFB_iZMrYqAH4lK532wdQRwQygME7k1WXfu2mAQiRP-L_46Yc/s400/Babyface-2-18.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I want to elope with the mustard stains on his undershirt... do crack cocaine on the outskirts of a fever dream until the end of time.<br />
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Out of all the cocks that appear in this movie, I'd say the one attached to Kevin James is the most appealing from a I want to suck it standpoint.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJc9ZmIsNg1BllnPisRBg2FvzWoHrIc5NJKu6auDsS6FH9EIKtJKNzn77NQ4gOJrLqEQBPRRa652t69dLWwqvFcAWm_ehqMGGYvEr7WHSXOMIDQ6WXJn0IEkGoXywwLALoX0QKCfCiUc/s1600/Babyface-2-41.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJc9ZmIsNg1BllnPisRBg2FvzWoHrIc5NJKu6auDsS6FH9EIKtJKNzn77NQ4gOJrLqEQBPRRa652t69dLWwqvFcAWm_ehqMGGYvEr7WHSXOMIDQ6WXJn0IEkGoXywwLALoX0QKCfCiUc/s400/Babyface-2-41.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The main draw from a "I like to bang hot chicks all night long" angle, is, of course, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0706066/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t13" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Taija Rae</span></a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0016754/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lois Ayres</span></a>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6AOG0owFaXcIX7uU68HmpPdqVqG3iaFcht3Kpw4ZWANTDoMOA1RVvxBoKhzy5C5lOf7KvpuSdFWeYXqbWPWYjNWcMYeROBaE6zFscPvYWKXEqc9iJbvE4rvH0THM5QvwmL0KXb9jl18/s1600/Babyface-2-35.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6AOG0owFaXcIX7uU68HmpPdqVqG3iaFcht3Kpw4ZWANTDoMOA1RVvxBoKhzy5C5lOf7KvpuSdFWeYXqbWPWYjNWcMYeROBaE6zFscPvYWKXEqc9iJbvE4rvH0THM5QvwmL0KXb9jl18/s400/Babyface-2-35.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I know, I know, why didn't open with a protracted soliloquy on the merits of Taija Rae's robust thighs or Lois Ayres' to die for new wave hairdo. Well, first things first, things are slightly different now. My brain is soaking in the mucus-laden contents of Tyne Daly's designer colostomy bag. So... That being said, I was relieved to see Jerry Butler's working class pelvic region cause Taija Rae's thick, Philly-raised buttocks ripple as a direct result of his equally working class pelvic thrusts. I sorely missed watching Jerry Butler mount Taija Rae for sex-related purposes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLCsMLTBrwxX3KRYmyFdJOAAmx4ephVkVo2MBJBhsA5d3dIxpxEten2iuJGT0DV-KgCoPL-oxnVl2CWs9x25w3LKOtAMpgjNrBb1tm0fLsZX6Gf3GMb2ut0z7pCx0jLmaJ8NK8uYKa1P0/s1600/Babyface-2-43.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLCsMLTBrwxX3KRYmyFdJOAAmx4ephVkVo2MBJBhsA5d3dIxpxEten2iuJGT0DV-KgCoPL-oxnVl2CWs9x25w3LKOtAMpgjNrBb1tm0fLsZX6Gf3GMb2ut0z7pCx0jLmaJ8NK8uYKa1P0/s400/Babyface-2-43.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Rivers of jizz, years of despair. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE2h-uMSBTs5CDdGeVi1lylMPb-S3mNBg0bdKUkA2TrqoNU8JAFnF5wO6B6l7TpmOL0gp3KMk4kew_oPjYyJW_BTo9P6v48UTkkrsPugMJERpbvhcQtO6KM3VEAjakjsh1woqc0g2cAqI/s1600/Babyface-2-38.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE2h-uMSBTs5CDdGeVi1lylMPb-S3mNBg0bdKUkA2TrqoNU8JAFnF5wO6B6l7TpmOL0gp3KMk4kew_oPjYyJW_BTo9P6v48UTkkrsPugMJERpbvhcQtO6KM3VEAjakjsh1woqc0g2cAqI/s400/Babyface-2-38.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In fact, there were many moments in this film that caused me to get somewhat emotional. I didn't cry, exactly. But I started to realize midway through <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123393/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Babyface 2</span></a> how much I love well made sleaze. And <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123393/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Babyface 2</span></a> is definitely well made. Granted, it's not quite up to the level of Alex de Renzy's <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/04/pretty-peaches-alex-de-renzy-1978.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pretty Peaches</span></a>, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/04/pretty-peaches-2-alex-de-renzy-1987.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pretty Peaches 2</span></a>, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/04/pretty-peaches-3-quest-alex-de-renzy.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pretty Peaches 3</span></a>, or even <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2014/08/femmes-de-sade-alex-de-renzy-1976.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Femmes de Sade</span></a>. But it's way better than most of the putrid garbage floating around out there.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51pEFHAGuIYZvQhIiPbmk_NoJddDBHFi9Cifi8urCZPMpyNm4urdy8BXjQXchDD3LXcI_SpG8X-2LlmkZTCGxdaGQ5UlcZ30JfbjCgJAs1lx8JRyv0Dm5UmvtGmHViUbp1-du63Acgzo/s1600/Babyface-2-56.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi51pEFHAGuIYZvQhIiPbmk_NoJddDBHFi9Cifi8urCZPMpyNm4urdy8BXjQXchDD3LXcI_SpG8X-2LlmkZTCGxdaGQ5UlcZ30JfbjCgJAs1lx8JRyv0Dm5UmvtGmHViUbp1-du63Acgzo/s400/Babyface-2-56.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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You could say, the film's biggest star is the wind machine, which keeps a steady indoor breeze going for the entire length of the film's epic orgy scene. But I won't say that... even though I sort of just did.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy3SWC0KMOO3HzDpidUT9wM8CkL7OvXYxfQf35T6VW7YsYgL1d7IhrcOZBcv-9hSwcdW5mHkAx6Plyw-NowEcBC-H_O9yA50Gy9SZWlHNjgN8z0G173_632id1bjODySBtsF76BF2LFFc/s1600/Babyface-2-45.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy3SWC0KMOO3HzDpidUT9wM8CkL7OvXYxfQf35T6VW7YsYgL1d7IhrcOZBcv-9hSwcdW5mHkAx6Plyw-NowEcBC-H_O9yA50Gy9SZWlHNjgN8z0G173_632id1bjODySBtsF76BF2LFFc/s400/Babyface-2-45.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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No, the film's biggest asset is its all star cast. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh99NsiM40RwPsOcTH2i7DyVPjQFmeJlHoPfey6ZWO6ZcOoYrtXu5IHZf5e5ucfRPiLlKYQ0oCuhgX927mo2d-5rrMGZ1rirpuh9AbmeKQThAtak087gb-Qi-uyZUHjPrl6CDJSewnsgqU/s1600/Babyface-2-48.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh99NsiM40RwPsOcTH2i7DyVPjQFmeJlHoPfey6ZWO6ZcOoYrtXu5IHZf5e5ucfRPiLlKYQ0oCuhgX927mo2d-5rrMGZ1rirpuh9AbmeKQThAtak087gb-Qi-uyZUHjPrl6CDJSewnsgqU/s400/Babyface-2-48.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's no secret, Taija Rae, Lois Ayres and Jamie Gillis are three of my favourite actors. And each get plenty of screen time. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsZWxnV9zW6ucNNBjzoDqhMi-IIW5dc3TK243L8zAi4oyFnvF-nrzmE79C7qt5SIbMDdstkNXkqPlIEy8BPrYNFNKoFtg5ERDL9ZD6KN7k5PGNv6NvyoSfLdrXHbX2Bq7oepa0N3nbqAc/s1600/Babyface-2-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsZWxnV9zW6ucNNBjzoDqhMi-IIW5dc3TK243L8zAi4oyFnvF-nrzmE79C7qt5SIbMDdstkNXkqPlIEy8BPrYNFNKoFtg5ERDL9ZD6KN7k5PGNv6NvyoSfLdrXHbX2Bq7oepa0N3nbqAc/s400/Babyface-2-11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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However, in the early going, the film belongs to Lois Ayres and Kevin James (Johnny Rico from <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/caf-flesh-rinse-dream-1982.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span class="st">Café<i> </i></span>Flesh</span></a>).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxOipnhlRqWpyLVlE9Dyo6n8jHJ08J-oYWsVb5pkQuTX742RbKTVNpVCHNChnaAfHcOKYCZbr3gxLdSm5z0NnIXpl_jY1PgxjWInTA3LsiSTR1FCgo3x64qZNKfoiFIqrsibXlNd9f5Q/s1600/Babyface-2-31.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxOipnhlRqWpyLVlE9Dyo6n8jHJ08J-oYWsVb5pkQuTX742RbKTVNpVCHNChnaAfHcOKYCZbr3gxLdSm5z0NnIXpl_jY1PgxjWInTA3LsiSTR1FCgo3x64qZNKfoiFIqrsibXlNd9f5Q/s400/Babyface-2-31.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(Why did you watch the video for "Magic" by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cars" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Cars</span></a> before starting this review?)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKA8vDUL0qFyGN7iFQryiVYD7q1A4tcyMr0eCtOdoAmi8R8Jkvi0RMmNXUBgAt3d0oO7pRq7J9zC4P0UzGd0RY21G3-f5ZrqEuK7pyA17BnC44RAgmrmFXlTtEQ0qcTOIaLU8iQdELzg4/s1600/Babyface-2-46.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKA8vDUL0qFyGN7iFQryiVYD7q1A4tcyMr0eCtOdoAmi8R8Jkvi0RMmNXUBgAt3d0oO7pRq7J9zC4P0UzGd0RY21G3-f5ZrqEuK7pyA17BnC44RAgmrmFXlTtEQ0qcTOIaLU8iQdELzg4/s400/Babyface-2-46.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Excellent question. First off, it's a great song/video (Ric Ocasek is seen walking on water in a pool... in a gaudy blazer... 'nuff said). And secondly, rumour doesn't have it that Alex de Renzy got the inspiration to make <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123393/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Babyface 2</span></a> after seeing the video on MTV. Oh, the reason I didn't said, "rumour doesn't have it," instead of the usual "rumour has it," is because I just made it up. That being said, this film's main theme does sort of sound like "Magic" by The Cars.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8G6mYznmzZTbyqlucarqLW6I1ZzTc_1yAJOzMui1UF_9aRDFd3FiuSyBqD6ttiJHwtTMZ6nVrVtw2k4q9t9DooN1ML3TJnzp1vEKMfviGyxkO5obAv31WAroUk4mRvPIYOoDaI_pMk28/s1600/Babyface-2-28.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8G6mYznmzZTbyqlucarqLW6I1ZzTc_1yAJOzMui1UF_9aRDFd3FiuSyBqD6ttiJHwtTMZ6nVrVtw2k4q9t9DooN1ML3TJnzp1vEKMfviGyxkO5obAv31WAroUk4mRvPIYOoDaI_pMk28/s400/Babyface-2-28.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Picking up Lois, his cheerleading girlfriend in his white Trans Am, Kevin takes her to a shed (the owner of this shed is never revealed... maybe we'll learn his or her identity in Babyface 3??? ...whenever de Renzy gets his probably senile ass around to making it), so they have standard heterosexual sex in private. Now, while fucking in a shed isn't exactly commonplace, it's easily the most normal sex scene in the movie.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXJmhDJD5iTAtdHMkZMYfn5tqz54vt85a_1hNEApxQTISjmHA6L5e2H4at3p8yXw5IUW9yDqm6B5A2wCio9MbE8ZMogZAEFATAREbN_xxHgYOE0ZzBLX-bLPOTUDZYKaV_Yc37VbM57k/s1600/Babyface-2-27.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXJmhDJD5iTAtdHMkZMYfn5tqz54vt85a_1hNEApxQTISjmHA6L5e2H4at3p8yXw5IUW9yDqm6B5A2wCio9MbE8ZMogZAEFATAREbN_xxHgYOE0ZzBLX-bLPOTUDZYKaV_Yc37VbM57k/s400/Babyface-2-27.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, since the scene features Lois Ayres, I couldn't help but be drawn to Lois' hair and makeup. And laugh when Kevin James takes off his sneakers (Velcro!)<br />
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I did notice the garden tools hanging on the wall of the shed. As they fornicated, I kept imagining Lois and Kevin being brutally murdered with that giant tree pruner. <br />
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In what has to be one of the most romantic things ever, Kevin offers to use his sock to clean the physical representation of his orgasm off Lois' back.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_kVDIp8Dxwf5xcMdx1jzQe4L5yhhSrR1JCM43c3lIQKj06zxCZvbH9-RKs6IsKF_zp-UzTBgHOkCJFos6b8ejY7IxlVZHOml_VWU1icBhEn9OWaluaUySq7AlyKWVsc9-OA7H-Ha_WAQ/s1600/Babyface-2-29.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_kVDIp8Dxwf5xcMdx1jzQe4L5yhhSrR1JCM43c3lIQKj06zxCZvbH9-RKs6IsKF_zp-UzTBgHOkCJFos6b8ejY7IxlVZHOml_VWU1icBhEn9OWaluaUySq7AlyKWVsc9-OA7H-Ha_WAQ/s400/Babyface-2-29.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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She doesn't want his twitching seed slowly dying on her back as the rest of the day progresses, so he wipes away his sticky discharge with one of his socks. And they say chivalry is dead.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVaXUrp5MsH2ujSey-vJeG_jL6NGeO7pJbNe4FV3Ob38FLuFqZeLOv9nNCa4XIbNqe80G4FAW0tbhL7ChcMHhPxzD_oQpZg631RyiyG8UKU_XageM8tdPa6knwSTiz8po5sCsK1EbNBMQ/s1600/Babyface-2-40.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVaXUrp5MsH2ujSey-vJeG_jL6NGeO7pJbNe4FV3Ob38FLuFqZeLOv9nNCa4XIbNqe80G4FAW0tbhL7ChcMHhPxzD_oQpZg631RyiyG8UKU_XageM8tdPa6knwSTiz8po5sCsK1EbNBMQ/s400/Babyface-2-40.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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After we're done at the mystery shed, we're quickly whisked to Careena Collins' bachelorette party.<br />
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Everyone is there, Lois Ayres (sex toy enthusiast), Taija Rae (lingerie whore), Stacey Donovan (the world's biggest Skinny Puppy fan), Kristara Barrington (cock-starved shill for fruit flavoured lube), Lynn Francis (calamari!!!!! - my epic cunt smells like a dirty dish rag), and, of course, Careena Collins (her screams will be forever muffled by Jamie Gillis' filthy boxer shorts).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_eiik9rijI1dyT3HBrQlhCZBz714huLBT_O009NzfnW4VsgKYSQuFEls1W5g4XIyxc8hqp9aXTdI5aDveSguBsoN2U0bBE-een0_8K8xUg_TA9WMCDwynuaq_ncypNjk6WEtCVTII0pQ/s1600/Babyface-2-36.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_eiik9rijI1dyT3HBrQlhCZBz714huLBT_O009NzfnW4VsgKYSQuFEls1W5g4XIyxc8hqp9aXTdI5aDveSguBsoN2U0bBE-een0_8K8xUg_TA9WMCDwynuaq_ncypNjk6WEtCVTII0pQ/s400/Babyface-2-36.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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They play with sex toys, they giggle uncontrollably, they try on lingerie, they watch porno tapes, they... do a shitload of girly ass shit. It's fucking awesome. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYktqzgh2ksVq17D51rjToZHuNfC5sqcNiLAl3n2fqjd-qu7VbdehQPCimFu5OZ-_93xx8v7AdYHtJMN2v3ai-6bZHXGbblByjW5twg0iCsQQXQ-lEz2ZifKVe9j3F9YRrL4gWxgkruGA/s1600/Babyface-2-42.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYktqzgh2ksVq17D51rjToZHuNfC5sqcNiLAl3n2fqjd-qu7VbdehQPCimFu5OZ-_93xx8v7AdYHtJMN2v3ai-6bZHXGbblByjW5twg0iCsQQXQ-lEz2ZifKVe9j3F9YRrL4gWxgkruGA/s400/Babyface-2-42.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's not a bachelorette party without a male stripper... Enter... Jamie Gillis. Like I said earlier, greatest entrance of all-time... hands down.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijD_Q0C3OMgGEIYxcQprVhyphenhyphenMn-gA_Sq6Ml76t5islnQKZIyEOJpUwKi12TEiTxBCrf71u_DXCIM2HKX5yuPQCEt6dgwtde1oGvd-F6WBxh6LOrhI9e_-6MUFXhihH12D-z8mrC3SBzn0A/s1600/Babyface-2-49.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijD_Q0C3OMgGEIYxcQprVhyphenhyphenMn-gA_Sq6Ml76t5islnQKZIyEOJpUwKi12TEiTxBCrf71u_DXCIM2HKX5yuPQCEt6dgwtde1oGvd-F6WBxh6LOrhI9e_-6MUFXhihH12D-z8mrC3SBzn0A/s400/Babyface-2-49.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Drunk, dishevelled and drunk (Booger from <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088000/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Revenge of the Nerds</span></a>/Bluto from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_House" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Animal House</span></a>), Jamie Gillis dances erotically for the chicks for a pretty long time. Wanting more, the ladies demand to see some skin. Give them a "proper show," as one of them puts it. Warning the women that they will be overcome with lust if he gets hard, Jamie Gillis unfurls his dirty, dry piss-covered erection... and, yeah... all hell breaks loose (clench your crevices, kids). <br />
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The woman are, just like Jamie Gillis said they would be, overcome with lust, and start demanding cock.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQifZPsfhdG9nQ5EEixZNWR3PHS5rv5QNBwVx89KXpJPaWb6rWUnm_ZH_7VLrbjxeLixiC7j4EJaMBVJ5lHuwUZCpopqgZd2slyczhSte_KOz88D8vWEWem2RDAaRiBtemdx_cPeEp10/s1600/Babyface-2-57.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRQifZPsfhdG9nQ5EEixZNWR3PHS5rv5QNBwVx89KXpJPaWb6rWUnm_ZH_7VLrbjxeLixiC7j4EJaMBVJ5lHuwUZCpopqgZd2slyczhSte_KOz88D8vWEWem2RDAaRiBtemdx_cPeEp10/s400/Babyface-2-57.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Luckily for the women, a bunch of guys (and their cocks) do show up (including Tom Byron and Dick Rambone... Jesus), and the orgy to end all orgies breaks out.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8gtvbvdr9dpYozd_eYzG6iFHlsUEIaoA4d022ij9FkWq79jVhGiWFuvM760lChtepNV96JeSuag6J8kTTFeMsGFQKamxNt5cmHxNkYX1mLu7uvy0mim6pu1KLUqrkqWzpaQ10k_ywaw/s1600/Babyface-2-55.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8gtvbvdr9dpYozd_eYzG6iFHlsUEIaoA4d022ij9FkWq79jVhGiWFuvM760lChtepNV96JeSuag6J8kTTFeMsGFQKamxNt5cmHxNkYX1mLu7uvy0mim6pu1KLUqrkqWzpaQ10k_ywaw/s400/Babyface-2-55.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Is the orgy scene exhausting? You bet it is. Did it cause me to think about how ridiculous the universe is when you get right down to it? How the fuck should I know? I was drunk on cloudy pickle brine when I watched this. However, you have got to admire a film that boasts an extensive orgy scene while a wind machine blasts the whole time. Think about it. Filming an orgy sounds like a logistical nightmare. Add the fact that the whole thing is done with a wind machine set on high, and you've got a potential disaster on your hands. While I'm sure the shooting of this sequence was difficult, the end result is nothing short of brilliant. Even if you have zero interest in watching 1980s drug addicts fuck on film, you have got to admire the execution. I mean, this is art.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZpG8tVNqylAKm2m8u6Vnsxl4I4y5frL5uo_-1BQMHOawHHSbqMV-LpjDVPNJ7uruBoY3ay_fR0T0KepqJIv0-A0PjHihw0pY39S_yr5D3m449G14rFqazPRJJSl68JUhskxn8kFg-WpA/s1600/Babyface-2-59.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZpG8tVNqylAKm2m8u6Vnsxl4I4y5frL5uo_-1BQMHOawHHSbqMV-LpjDVPNJ7uruBoY3ay_fR0T0KepqJIv0-A0PjHihw0pY39S_yr5D3m449G14rFqazPRJJSl68JUhskxn8kFg-WpA/s400/Babyface-2-59.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It took me eight years to get around to watching Babyface 2. It was recommended to me by a blogger named "Gore Gore Girl." And I promised her that I would watch and review it someday. Um, sorry for taking so long. In my defense, I was waiting for a company like, <a href="https://vinegarsyndrome.com/shop/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Vinegar Syndrome</span></a>, to put out a remastered, uncut version, and, yeah... the film looks amazing. It's a masterpiece.<br />
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Just realized it's the ten year anniversary of HOSI. Wait. Ten years?!? That's some fucked up shit right there.</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-74943295674009441562017-06-11T20:38:00.000-04:002017-06-11T20:38:22.327-04:00Latex (Michael Ninn, 1995)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhomYWLhZMBv51nS3zaNvuvO01UMnRYq1OjYcLRpQrJIs-_mi-o_Q1Sokev5BfKVJtBtPQ-e-f0TC1-kqTI0aK0CQM4D-78WeRHNVXsFA8-yVQYhwMuTClKZnf1PxUHxZZK6hm906bv1-A/s1600/Latex-Poster-Cover-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhomYWLhZMBv51nS3zaNvuvO01UMnRYq1OjYcLRpQrJIs-_mi-o_Q1Sokev5BfKVJtBtPQ-e-f0TC1-kqTI0aK0CQM4D-78WeRHNVXsFA8-yVQYhwMuTClKZnf1PxUHxZZK6hm906bv1-A/s200/Latex-Poster-Cover-1.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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After scanning my retina for, oh, I'd say, a minute or two, Michael Ninn's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113619/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Latex</span></a> finally granted me access to its shiny, dystopic, dysphoria-causing universe. (Hold up. The first two I understand. But dysphoria-causing?) There are a shit-ton/fuck-ton of close-up shots of crinkly ball-sacks in this movie. Need I say more? I didn't think so. Anyway, the reason I said the film "finally granted me access" was because I think this was my third attempt to watch and review this mid-1990s masterpiece. Yeah, that's right. My third! And you'll notice I didn't call it a mid-1990s "porn" masterpiece. Yeah, the film is that good. Of course, I wouldn't have called it a masterpiece, porn or otherwise, during those initial viewings. I don't know why it took me so many tries. But either way, here we are. I think one of the main reasons I didn't care for the film the first few times was because I was watching it as a porn flick. In other words, I was judging it based on its ability to arouse/titillate. Quirky fun-fact: This was the first film I watched after starting hormone replacement therapy (a.k.a. HRT). I know, pretty awesome, eh? Well, I think so (I've never felt better in my life... it's like I've been reborn or some gay ass shit like that). Now, I'm not saying my estradiol-soaked noodle factory reacted any differently to the slick images <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0632479/?ref_=ttfc_fc_dr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Michael Ninn</span></a> threw my way over the course of the film's two hour running time than my testosterone-soaked one. But it was quite telling that I finally "got" what Ninn was getting at after starting to medically transition. It should be noted that both pre-HRT, pre-everything Yum-Yum and HRT Yum-Yum found some of the sex scenes to be dull/uninteresting. That being said, HRT Yum-Yum practically ate up the style clinic that director Michael Ninn and screenwriter <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0432412/?ref_=ttfc_fc_wr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Antonio Passolini</span></a> pull off with this movie.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOY8FZKjVKRl5607Ywu7N4St_dGTs0OXedtTwMJ9-qs_mdCdf6mgGxrzTKdU54N0-LrfwTvjP7tLoWvA9heIeEuLCwgDfdQrGQ1TYWxN3kUN7SarePyFYyBZRuw9H16VTAF8288EOi6Wc/s1600/Latex-XXX-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOY8FZKjVKRl5607Ywu7N4St_dGTs0OXedtTwMJ9-qs_mdCdf6mgGxrzTKdU54N0-LrfwTvjP7tLoWvA9heIeEuLCwgDfdQrGQ1TYWxN3kUN7SarePyFYyBZRuw9H16VTAF8288EOi6Wc/s400/Latex-XXX-04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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As with most movies of this type (porn movies that try to be different), I got a perverse thrill out of knowing that <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113619/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Latex</span></a> probably frustrated the living fuck out of those who like to masturbate to stuff like this. I don't know, just the mere thought of someone desperately trying to jerk off to this, and failing in spectacular fashion, brings me so much joy.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQk-ex4hyphenhyphenTVYCrWKyFAAVIrP1mtWVG6aDwLkdm7Le22tDDLQc9uIvLYAcK-ft2YbmmFmi1FtHOgTT6x4ctvk0yBj8198hTj8tc9Rl82pL22dI1f47P1ZHiDNPChpsfAKz173HNyADZz1U/s1600/Latex-XXX-02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQk-ex4hyphenhyphenTVYCrWKyFAAVIrP1mtWVG6aDwLkdm7Le22tDDLQc9uIvLYAcK-ft2YbmmFmi1FtHOgTT6x4ctvk0yBj8198hTj8tc9Rl82pL22dI1f47P1ZHiDNPChpsfAKz173HNyADZz1U/s400/Latex-XXX-02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Now, is it as subversive as the films of Rinse Dream or even Gregory Dark? No. But I found it quite telling that the film's goatee-sporting, quasi-mulleted hero's first line is: "I know you're watching me." A repeated phrase uttered in Rinse Dream's <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/nightdreams-francis-delia-1981.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nightdreams</span></a> and <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-caligari-stephen-sayadian-1989.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dr. Caligari</span></a>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWdkTatjvAfzVgQR3xR5Uwgx7OSgiQ1J_FbMjYS8POykrtGVARJ6_QqM-VpBnRPTnqrcByJ1KGDJ6SyX_48Rr2nSiXNxaqMLYb7cN7bt4AThXB4ffGBG1IgpFlTzzR8rxCXU8ktiKZHJs/s1600/Latex-XXX-08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWdkTatjvAfzVgQR3xR5Uwgx7OSgiQ1J_FbMjYS8POykrtGVARJ6_QqM-VpBnRPTnqrcByJ1KGDJ6SyX_48Rr2nSiXNxaqMLYb7cN7bt4AThXB4ffGBG1IgpFlTzzR8rxCXU8ktiKZHJs/s400/Latex-XXX-08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Arrested for vagrancy, Malcolm Stevens (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0234809/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jon Dough</span></a>) finds himself in locked up in an asylum... Oh, did I mention that the world is a totalitarian, fascist nightmare-scape? Well, it totally is. Under the observation of a bunch of doctors in lab coats (again, very <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/nightdreams-francis-delia-1981.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nightdreams</span></a>), they're interested in Malcolm because he seems to have a special gift. And while no-one, not even Malcolm, can explain what his special gift is exactly, it's agreed upon that it involves sex in some shape or form.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnsLtTjUo11GXhIbOuJDtSmUmDFMp05ZWFGzPa9GZlAvwU0dXBYze5gvufrNi3Il-D5d3ikI9LmaDgxYtIeFI88p5-HKo6O6cJCmwipeYfiuxVmIxVh1WuhbERypZaA3dj30j5BZGiXeM/s1600/Latex-XXX-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnsLtTjUo11GXhIbOuJDtSmUmDFMp05ZWFGzPa9GZlAvwU0dXBYze5gvufrNi3Il-D5d3ikI9LmaDgxYtIeFI88p5-HKo6O6cJCmwipeYfiuxVmIxVh1WuhbERypZaA3dj30j5BZGiXeM/s400/Latex-XXX-12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Spotting a billboard through his cell window, Malcolm fantasizes about the woman on said billboard. A vivacious blonde named Kato (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0859552/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sunset Thomas</span></a>), Malcolm imagines the billboard woman masturbating with yellow latex gloves in a retro-style kitchen.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEzkCaj8hBMny0Ea_TO18q8Ch8vwbDWQiX28mBFw0PHc99khNiuMcHbWEO6MJ-8RH80P1xdjEyE31TzwTqZHJ_csXGw293a3WDyBcV1yAh5U_sMbTjJQBC3qzAi-BJczoupHoCVgJkwGc/s1600/Latex-XXX-05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEzkCaj8hBMny0Ea_TO18q8Ch8vwbDWQiX28mBFw0PHc99khNiuMcHbWEO6MJ-8RH80P1xdjEyE31TzwTqZHJ_csXGw293a3WDyBcV1yAh5U_sMbTjJQBC3qzAi-BJczoupHoCVgJkwGc/s400/Latex-XXX-05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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After she's finished pleasuring herself, Kato has sex on a vintage kitchen table with her husband.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoSi-oTx_7wE25KDobxxS25CXoR6Mr2fxptA9uRN3Ohly1LpIttt60S16SiEqaX3zg_m8-yjgi4L_SjdL0VD3sh7_R_s2lBMm1Rf-YqxJSrT-MnFBNt5pGWg5_mBmi1dvTwY5NfwuWXJc/s1600/Latex-XXX-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoSi-oTx_7wE25KDobxxS25CXoR6Mr2fxptA9uRN3Ohly1LpIttt60S16SiEqaX3zg_m8-yjgi4L_SjdL0VD3sh7_R_s2lBMm1Rf-YqxJSrT-MnFBNt5pGWg5_mBmi1dvTwY5NfwuWXJc/s400/Latex-XXX-06.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The great thing about this scene was... (Sunset Thomas' tits!) I was going to say the attention to detail that went into creating that retro-style kitchen... but I guess her tits were nice. Personally, I dug her black headband. But what can I say? I'm a sucker for hair accessories, especially those that serve a purpose.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjump-4kNISleH8P2T5Td4aMSAGCxZGd6zovAD5t-3JVJN6Pt95yrAXXNAtJGoqZfqkLDehu7T55uVdf-E4KMollqKp7la1Z-jI3tFD19hZf5nq9yrigw8JmC6a8RKlhAThpSmeMXi-51E/s1600/Latex-XXX-07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjump-4kNISleH8P2T5Td4aMSAGCxZGd6zovAD5t-3JVJN6Pt95yrAXXNAtJGoqZfqkLDehu7T55uVdf-E4KMollqKp7la1Z-jI3tFD19hZf5nq9yrigw8JmC6a8RKlhAThpSmeMXi-51E/s400/Latex-XXX-07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Did anyone else wonder what Kato had stocked in those vintage kitchen cabinets of hers? I was kinda hoping she had 'em stocked with pickles, corn chips (with flax-seeds baked right into the chips), salted chickpeas and gummy bears. Damn it, why did I mention pickles? I want to consume an entire jar right this minute. But don't worry, I'll finish this first.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8UnQR0fmmaCRm8jg5Dt14IIIoEs3SC3rwA2jgpUxciFJYP9DiS0myoMHhJx2aa_Y4nrU6NS0tL5iE0uHXPM7e0th_TSGsWeNAUs1bvvMENICEn-gBWRhmm7oU-77G9NS7S84L8EKKx0A/s1600/Latex-XXX-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8UnQR0fmmaCRm8jg5Dt14IIIoEs3SC3rwA2jgpUxciFJYP9DiS0myoMHhJx2aa_Y4nrU6NS0tL5iE0uHXPM7e0th_TSGsWeNAUs1bvvMENICEn-gBWRhmm7oU-77G9NS7S84L8EKKx0A/s400/Latex-XXX-09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm not entirely sure what was going on in the next scene. But I do know that it features Malcolm having sexual intercourse with a "Latex Pony Girl." (A latex what?) It's a fetish thing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6meKsW67H33jdbKBLuNbsmokvrxvUtRVEtxLw_oY5W68khqxROEyCR-mSQt_5KizV6d_1SutMI_m1f5I3GnTErk7gZadSh_IApAVe3hEd3hIFaYhA9qrKQNRQW09BKhl2jAE4K22FBPo/s1600/Latex-XXX-03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6meKsW67H33jdbKBLuNbsmokvrxvUtRVEtxLw_oY5W68khqxROEyCR-mSQt_5KizV6d_1SutMI_m1f5I3GnTErk7gZadSh_IApAVe3hEd3hIFaYhA9qrKQNRQW09BKhl2jAE4K22FBPo/s400/Latex-XXX-03.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Anyway, while I loved Emerald Estrada's pony look. The spotty, haphazard manner in which Malcolm's taint was shaven was tremendously disappointing. Is there anything more disheartening than a taint that's been improperly shaved? Probably not.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZp-KRicvdW5afb7ra_tP1C8p1n8XR69ARXuM20fD_ymj06t-dqg1klcfpKHidBNgLnIirKNlan36qobupNY8GsVtHMrl9CHd-YqbmgfubN_96Nel_we4plcZfI60jfyr_Lm0qBhmnPVU/s1600/Latex-XXX-13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZp-KRicvdW5afb7ra_tP1C8p1n8XR69ARXuM20fD_ymj06t-dqg1klcfpKHidBNgLnIirKNlan36qobupNY8GsVtHMrl9CHd-YqbmgfubN_96Nel_we4plcZfI60jfyr_Lm0qBhmnPVU/s400/Latex-XXX-13.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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On that yucky note, I think now is as good a time as any to mention the soundtrack. While some people seem to enjoy watching people fuck on film/video, I now find the act itself to be extremely revolting and, not to mention, tedious as all get out. Thankfully, all that gross/yawn-worthy fornicating is set to a non-cacophony of warm synthy goodness cascading over the top of a surplus of choice funky beats. Composed by Dino Ninn, the music heard throughout this movie was a virtual lifesaver. Seriously, their music is a motherfucking godsend. I doubt that could have made it through the whole thing without it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqK6I37UG0lFEmf3EeGykdJ1IKq9GcT2hJRhSOARqOBA2GFChjNJXacjrhREX6jVFshhLUVr-TIZDvAA-MGhxVqcSzCT-F_C0AOGEbrNxDjEuHDExcayjPUlpzIYmiTAhxkIrKEFmeedo/s1600/Latex-XXX-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqK6I37UG0lFEmf3EeGykdJ1IKq9GcT2hJRhSOARqOBA2GFChjNJXacjrhREX6jVFshhLUVr-TIZDvAA-MGhxVqcSzCT-F_C0AOGEbrNxDjEuHDExcayjPUlpzIYmiTAhxkIrKEFmeedo/s400/Latex-XXX-14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It turns out that Malcolm, simply by touching you, can "see inside of people." And what he sees is usually sexual in nature.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOfx9qqydFTpGQSjyklG_lEhO3iGRsIzJp2RXQDtP2-WJ3odqZ3oWrOs1__nJuIjw0e8RYXF4vbAo93Mxrl6UsoPs9jq3-O6g-SyVhV9mZbreHeVReiMLG3pNEk3itd0J0bwJgyNCrbs0/s1600/Latex-XXX-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOfx9qqydFTpGQSjyklG_lEhO3iGRsIzJp2RXQDtP2-WJ3odqZ3oWrOs1__nJuIjw0e8RYXF4vbAo93Mxrl6UsoPs9jq3-O6g-SyVhV9mZbreHeVReiMLG3pNEk3itd0J0bwJgyNCrbs0/s400/Latex-XXX-10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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When he touches <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0546831/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Tiffany Million</span></a>, the doctor currently interviewing him, on the arm, we're treated to a scene where she gets poked and prodded by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1027202/?ref_=tt_cl_t13" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sam Cooper</span></a>, her male assistant.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHWHzIvAmKMl11Cfj05eXiR-Djg1rDB9o_j8LEP2ZbM6632SQy2bAYis__C67O8oP7q8KxWLcRrQPlwl4CCJID0u6nZJRJvn0zWPNcSoouszVyyglgWa2G0XgIDrkZNkm1Yrs2Qlx2zQ/s1600/Latex-XXX-15.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHWHzIvAmKMl11Cfj05eXiR-Djg1rDB9o_j8LEP2ZbM6632SQy2bAYis__C67O8oP7q8KxWLcRrQPlwl4CCJID0u6nZJRJvn0zWPNcSoouszVyyglgWa2G0XgIDrkZNkm1Yrs2Qlx2zQ/s400/Latex-XXX-15.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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If you have a thing for rough lesbian sex, colourful latex and bob wigs (blonde and brunette), you'll love the next sequence. Played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224610/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t7" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Debi Diamond</span></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0741525/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lacy Rose</span></a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0231083/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t9" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Barbara Doll</span></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0086030/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t10" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Tasha Blades</span></a>, the wonderfully uncouth antics of these swaying "latex vixens" eat up a huge chunk of time.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ZTbBEVxJglTy3WswHl9dLe_cbf8fAuJeoGZ_iPO88_MCZeEEvtcZJOD1MyWarpVAjFD1nCM8B2xCzL3PxDjA_ZWJqowkEZu8_ssNocxmHXDJ4hoOnWj_Uo51XdcDEhCavjDuiHr0Vv8/s1600/Latex-XXX-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1ZTbBEVxJglTy3WswHl9dLe_cbf8fAuJeoGZ_iPO88_MCZeEEvtcZJOD1MyWarpVAjFD1nCM8B2xCzL3PxDjA_ZWJqowkEZu8_ssNocxmHXDJ4hoOnWj_Uo51XdcDEhCavjDuiHr0Vv8/s400/Latex-XXX-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Since Malcolm can't visualize himself in his fantasies, he uses an avatar. And at the tail end of the day-glo lez-fest, Malcolm takes the form of a man named Brick Majors. As the synths wind down and the beats begin to fade, Brick spews a modest dollop of creamy, non-watery tartar sauce-esque jizz from the smallish opening located at the tip of his clearly worn out penis.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Du7EcLRNiTOiJ8_u_gLQIuRjgEUqTAxmHspBHPOUfaKQ0Nt67zKV3uuEmQyxqGXctX5iQQbjJeKB7hDk4k8nmQayGadaNklk63aE5kbJr7rOk4eWIo1VvkWv1Q42ji2mR9gfyveZQBs/s1600/Latex-XXX-20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Du7EcLRNiTOiJ8_u_gLQIuRjgEUqTAxmHspBHPOUfaKQ0Nt67zKV3uuEmQyxqGXctX5iQQbjJeKB7hDk4k8nmQayGadaNklk63aE5kbJr7rOk4eWIo1VvkWv1Q42ji2mR9gfyveZQBs/s400/Latex-XXX-20.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaSW-wUSuKGO2oSkt_uvJwn4WlrDrg7gqbpXUmf7WGl6qg4qMZdL_rpkpzAP7leu7vM-XMgJUi1dfOsfWNIoDymV20a8wWRMTTVLkd6MzMNtQAFIPEY8D7o13eN5J74q7esNWLCDSIQ0/s1600/Latex-XXX-21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaSW-wUSuKGO2oSkt_uvJwn4WlrDrg7gqbpXUmf7WGl6qg4qMZdL_rpkpzAP7leu7vM-XMgJUi1dfOsfWNIoDymV20a8wWRMTTVLkd6MzMNtQAFIPEY8D7o13eN5J74q7esNWLCDSIQ0/s400/Latex-XXX-21.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(Smallish opening?!? Don't you mean his urethra?) Ure kidding, right? That word makes my skin crawl. No, smallish opening is way less upsetting.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUliNhZk9CjnrhTw4D6K7K8b8cFbPwQjerNopAqYEsbYtq_A50EC_zBBfd6Mi_dhXtOH7c73mIXYLn-ZQC1j4AnI12XQD57bzOHWBXIm-S9DK_c8nzZiUD7HG3rgKMtK-UkDO02rRBilM/s1600/Latex-XXX-01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUliNhZk9CjnrhTw4D6K7K8b8cFbPwQjerNopAqYEsbYtq_A50EC_zBBfd6Mi_dhXtOH7c73mIXYLn-ZQC1j4AnI12XQD57bzOHWBXIm-S9DK_c8nzZiUD7HG3rgKMtK-UkDO02rRBilM/s400/Latex-XXX-01.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I didn't think I would say this, but the acting of Jeanna Fine (<a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2009/01/party-doll-go-go-rinse-dream-1991.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Party Doll A Go-Go!</span></a>) and Jon Dough in that black and white flashback scene during the Julie Show segment (Malcolm eventually becomes a minor celebrity and the toast of the "psychic underground") is pretty fantastic. It was, like, all dramatic 'n' junk. Bravo.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAXwEzWJuBBbiyj_iw15E6irU_ldPQnwCIUu1L3IRCXv4in7wV24IEM1MkAaoEDPa-_Kzke6NwCczng-zWKk_NjTo9auEz-_QHECeMupY98ijc-IwJ7lyIW9bQ5SF-j-scx5C_6TumZ5U/s1600/Latex-XXX-17.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAXwEzWJuBBbiyj_iw15E6irU_ldPQnwCIUu1L3IRCXv4in7wV24IEM1MkAaoEDPa-_Kzke6NwCczng-zWKk_NjTo9auEz-_QHECeMupY98ijc-IwJ7lyIW9bQ5SF-j-scx5C_6TumZ5U/s400/Latex-XXX-17.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5u-8GJ-1MX__mpoQGmpMUtmmfcDJdahWqChEuuv4ho00SCUnTGfHNQms9rPUh0I5XJXDvVDUPEruJ2iAKluPY7gThwZC5aG7PMsjaLzNkqx15QGI3Nb438nDJTIWiC8Nm1DfzBxewvwE/s1600/Latex-XXX-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5u-8GJ-1MX__mpoQGmpMUtmmfcDJdahWqChEuuv4ho00SCUnTGfHNQms9rPUh0I5XJXDvVDUPEruJ2iAKluPY7gThwZC5aG7PMsjaLzNkqx15QGI3Nb438nDJTIWiC8Nm1DfzBxewvwE/s400/Latex-XXX-19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, the top-notch pathos of that scene quickly falls by the wayside when the vapid TV hostess (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0039231/?ref_=tt_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Juli Ashton</span></a>) is double-teamed by two of her long-haired crew members. Wait, I think one of the crew guys was played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001000/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t15" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Tom Byron</span></a>. Man, does this guy get around or what? In the year 1985, Tom starred in <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/09/white-bunbusters-gregory-dark-1985.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">White Bunbusters</span></a>. In the year 1995, Tom appears in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113619/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Latex</span></a>. That's a ten year gap! I wonder how many people Tom penetrated during that period. Hmm, I wonder.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjzSC3stvGanrOwXl0YJXZJCs5GsXoWoEdrHTdd3d1cq5wrk59CnT5UD7zTmyKw128UuCgmGhnfTNs-466cSSADcpIO_96nBT4pZakRcIgjWsD9e0_fV_YK7c0__iJO0GOwKiLpI4SxA/s1600/Latex-XXX-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjzSC3stvGanrOwXl0YJXZJCs5GsXoWoEdrHTdd3d1cq5wrk59CnT5UD7zTmyKw128UuCgmGhnfTNs-466cSSADcpIO_96nBT4pZakRcIgjWsD9e0_fV_YK7c0__iJO0GOwKiLpI4SxA/s400/Latex-XXX-24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Oh, would you look at that, we're back where it all started: Watching Sunset Thomas getting fondled and fucked on a vintage kitchen table. Great.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56T9HNpoTj2oI4nK-ZQW0kf7egwuBeekH2cMYXAucGB0tKaKXwSax7XMWmHJ1PfL3J63gIbesk6N_LJaKHwznEcbXPS5ol95mMF3Xm2tAOS3sow0Ph0co9N_mxN7ILRSjRDCE_iKDFAc/s1600/Latex-XXX-25.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56T9HNpoTj2oI4nK-ZQW0kf7egwuBeekH2cMYXAucGB0tKaKXwSax7XMWmHJ1PfL3J63gIbesk6N_LJaKHwznEcbXPS5ol95mMF3Xm2tAOS3sow0Ph0co9N_mxN7ILRSjRDCE_iKDFAc/s400/Latex-XXX-25.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Culminating with something called the "mega-splash" (don't ask), <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113619/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Latex</span></a>, despite the repulsive/repetitive nature of the sex, is always interesting to look at.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhln7Tdu2-LmXgr06LmRM4QM7-NsyvWCw1ArEvrWvBbSDMl-T1wGsoK08CcTi1p7cFlkZFRDzqx3gnkSk2xIxePKe5I4xkPIQPEQrgPLKuwYiT9eWD4DjdzKh4S8NbQq99LEfUgnIiJZAo/s1600/Latex-XXX-26.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="692" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhln7Tdu2-LmXgr06LmRM4QM7-NsyvWCw1ArEvrWvBbSDMl-T1wGsoK08CcTi1p7cFlkZFRDzqx3gnkSk2xIxePKe5I4xkPIQPEQrgPLKuwYiT9eWD4DjdzKh4S8NbQq99LEfUgnIiJZAo/s400/Latex-XXX-26.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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On the cusp of being a cyberpunk classic and sort of smart in places, Michael Ninn has made a film that is glossy, smooth and super... cool, I guess. And I'm not just saying that because everyone from start to finish is encased in latex. Or maybe I am. At any rate, if only they could have trimmed some of sex scenes. I know, what's the point of porn without porn? But still, do we really need to see that much fucking? I'm being told that we do. Whatever. Now, where are those pickles at? Yum. <span style="font-size: x-small;">No foolin'. I need salt, goddammit!</span></div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-45205613244216791172017-05-28T20:49:00.002-04:002017-05-28T20:49:55.933-04:00Some Kind of Wonderful (Howard Deutch, 1987)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3-XySqMWcUfFmhGcuKEJi3xLCBuJ8Wl7skB43PK8pnwMeFxAokxsOvpl50aFj4lfKHXFjA9dPWtHZenwDz4xPq32JHkxKQL8oyx-KrQ1x-jaAT9fBml2hcSKwfoPTsZPegh0mhYUsxM/s1600/Some-Kind-45.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="433" data-original-width="310" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK3-XySqMWcUfFmhGcuKEJi3xLCBuJ8Wl7skB43PK8pnwMeFxAokxsOvpl50aFj4lfKHXFjA9dPWtHZenwDz4xPq32JHkxKQL8oyx-KrQ1x-jaAT9fBml2hcSKwfoPTsZPegh0mhYUsxM/s200/Some-Kind-45.jpg" width="143" /></a></div>
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The act of re-watching some of my favourite movies with trans-tinted glasses over the past two or three months has been quite the rewarding experience. Like, did you know <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-caligari-stephen-sayadian-1989.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dr. Caligari</span></a> is the ultimate transgender movie? Well, if you didn't, you need to watch it again. It's so trans, it's ridiculous. Anyway, it's also been quite the horrifying experience, as some of the films are just plain awful. Now, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Some_Kind_of_Wonderful_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Some Kind of Wonderful</span></a> (a.k.a. Ist Sie Nicht Wunderbar) isn't close to being awful, but watching it again recently (in widescreen for the first time ever) was kind of awkward. And I think you all know what I'm about to say next. That's right, the amount of heterosexual stalking in this movie is insane. Every time you see a character doing something, you should always assume that another character is leering at them from a safe distance. What was once a lighthearted, John Hughes-approved romp, is now a dark, twisted movie about a socially maladjusted auto mechanic who exploits his trans-lesbian gal pal in order facilitate the entry of his erect penis into the vaginal cavity of a leggy redhead. While that might sound like quite the leap in tone, it's not. The movie hasn't changed one iota since it came out in 1987. It's me who's different. And I'm not going to sit idly by and let this movie's pro-stalker, pro-entitlement stance slide. Of course, I'm kinda kidding around. But part of me is dead serious. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094006/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Some Kind of Wonderful </span></a>is a dangerous movie.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0vOxCg4kQcPDvGFWn2spqjnn8n4DToDEk5ArC3-kUp_tZUFF6hwqnORGFnpFJ3hLGvOvzjvi1TXXCdOC0LxDyM5xxJyuF7vcufxdPyg-N67yIYqdF0cAUyh47xWsAVFFo1be-0nZl74s/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-25.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0vOxCg4kQcPDvGFWn2spqjnn8n4DToDEk5ArC3-kUp_tZUFF6hwqnORGFnpFJ3hLGvOvzjvi1TXXCdOC0LxDyM5xxJyuF7vcufxdPyg-N67yIYqdF0cAUyh47xWsAVFFo1be-0nZl74s/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-25.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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If you think about it. Unpopular high school senior, Keith Nelson (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000655/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Eric Stoltz</span></a>), is basically a serial rapist/killer in training. Guilty over his desire to rape and murder a popular classmate named Amanda Jones (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000670/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lea Thompson</span></a>), Keith pretends to attempt suicide everyday while walking home from his after school job at a garage.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLsxR1ExTzwYePnC4n4gr6ATpt6-BBquR_DnaZTK4F6qMsBY-X8OxLsSX-3XqWvY8VbPrOLTbSx8IP9zDTOiH_46wk7ptRGLfrAaBwl28VwjC8VrxlqLVWatP6tyHEwDywweGzslEdWks/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-26.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLsxR1ExTzwYePnC4n4gr6ATpt6-BBquR_DnaZTK4F6qMsBY-X8OxLsSX-3XqWvY8VbPrOLTbSx8IP9zDTOiH_46wk7ptRGLfrAaBwl28VwjC8VrxlqLVWatP6tyHEwDywweGzslEdWks/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-26.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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His does this by walking in front of a moving train, but then stepping aside at the last minute. To give his psuedo-suicide attempt more significance, the industrial pop of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaganda_(band)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Propaganda</span></a> blasts on the soundtrack. Oh, and as with the majority of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hughes_(filmmaker)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">John Hughes</span></a>' (teen) movies, the music heard throughout the production is outstanding (more on that later).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFbC_i1X0ZPEGdl-s9lRtrNcngWySm_U_A20o8ZmbT-ajvLuZniepSDPXQYWTzIXr-GQGXiGu0adEwXMJ7lNOxaH1dmQuLuz7tguLW0nE_-Oo-mtuYhe74s4EZrVv4VoH78FF_ZCrbYKM/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFbC_i1X0ZPEGdl-s9lRtrNcngWySm_U_A20o8ZmbT-ajvLuZniepSDPXQYWTzIXr-GQGXiGu0adEwXMJ7lNOxaH1dmQuLuz7tguLW0nE_-Oo-mtuYhe74s4EZrVv4VoH78FF_ZCrbYKM/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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And not only does Keith time his train dodge perfectly, he manages to time it so he arrives at the home of Amanda Jones just as she's saying goodbye to her boyfriend, Hardy Jenns (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001729/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Craig Sheffer</span></a>), who is a giant dickwad.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7rs9tdEgllYtb86Dw1u8NTy3gRBPyqmQASl-N-ET0zESHaONxS0lQlceP4OmxT4cYeCNmgXYwqsiRp-ayQDLYX9z4NPSGbItmOid5Vbjg28Xv4tKg4JgpaDobrr_3jmgEZnZuhQd4zk/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7rs9tdEgllYtb86Dw1u8NTy3gRBPyqmQASl-N-ET0zESHaONxS0lQlceP4OmxT4cYeCNmgXYwqsiRp-ayQDLYX9z4NPSGbItmOid5Vbjg28Xv4tKg4JgpaDobrr_3jmgEZnZuhQd4zk/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-23.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Since he doesn't have the nerve to manhandle Amanda's organic structure, Keith takes out his frustrations on Laura (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0180025/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Maddie Corman</span></a>), his younger sister, by physically abusing her. When Laura tries to complain to her parents, they simply shrug it off.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjLtIOWiU4Yq6SveWrhilAMVCc9GDMxtOtMXicrYsRbGN2LjztTIvly-CM6lVUJTEQLJXhQvBgHjyGzofUqrTZLzIKpjlQc4B7Dk7aE6KaxrumHR1vKxR-nVFrv_kDLBMIoNsFaxh78c/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisjLtIOWiU4Yq6SveWrhilAMVCc9GDMxtOtMXicrYsRbGN2LjztTIvly-CM6lVUJTEQLJXhQvBgHjyGzofUqrTZLzIKpjlQc4B7Dk7aE6KaxrumHR1vKxR-nVFrv_kDLBMIoNsFaxh78c/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Her younger sister, Cindy (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0121026/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t10" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Candace Cameron</span></a>), might be able to help Laura. But unfortunately, she's clearly deranged... in 1987 terms. If Cindy was around now, she would be a productive member of society; she believes in self-care and seems to give a shit about the environment (something unheard of in 1987). But this isn't now. So, Keith's reign of terror continues unabated.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTgEyIZa_WJKld8igMe_uL70masW7pT3R3t5CXYYUt8mfi_oDVjFCcd9gKevgE0K0VQaVM_7dmvIInTZUrii8ZYC0YTKvpCdEZz1UXjwXuhaiSMmnp0Ro-F5m9JGyjurZZ5JOBD62ZnIA/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTgEyIZa_WJKld8igMe_uL70masW7pT3R3t5CXYYUt8mfi_oDVjFCcd9gKevgE0K0VQaVM_7dmvIInTZUrii8ZYC0YTKvpCdEZz1UXjwXuhaiSMmnp0Ro-F5m9JGyjurZZ5JOBD62ZnIA/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In order to better familiarize himself with his victim, Keith sketches Amanda in full view of that giant dickwad Hardy, who is justifiably annoyed by this creepy ass display.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVXOXUtNkWdKPbxyNdl-__5xTX_gI-w0AJip6NPy6vQ7Z9rnVBC2hYjc4239c3cJ0X7xQZs4F_T0G8whbnIIsIBe2BovjZNhp02_wjoO-4pe_MzLX-TOd6YIGfVd_ZIpnVF9BFW_OKIs/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVXOXUtNkWdKPbxyNdl-__5xTX_gI-w0AJip6NPy6vQ7Z9rnVBC2hYjc4239c3cJ0X7xQZs4F_T0G8whbnIIsIBe2BovjZNhp02_wjoO-4pe_MzLX-TOd6YIGfVd_ZIpnVF9BFW_OKIs/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-18.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Realizing that Keith must be stopped at any cost, Watts (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000524/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mary Stuart Masterson</span></a>), a staunch yet stealth trans-lesbian, decides to pretend that she's a heterosexual trans-woman who has a crush on him.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgicJH-HEll_Z6_5NHBHqXojL_x-cttRr2Mnr2sK3XgYeLp4aco7Po6pjZbEV8kynM0RHRDnG7yqV6gBOZo8YGRppprn1rzz8Uv11ZRdsGoBKQlzqC0RKSCnbcjRuNNzIcCqNRqhpOu5NQ/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgicJH-HEll_Z6_5NHBHqXojL_x-cttRr2Mnr2sK3XgYeLp4aco7Po6pjZbEV8kynM0RHRDnG7yqV6gBOZo8YGRppprn1rzz8Uv11ZRdsGoBKQlzqC0RKSCnbcjRuNNzIcCqNRqhpOu5NQ/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-03.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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While most of the rubes who go to this high school buy the fact that Watts is a heterosexual trans-woman, Duncan (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000480/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t6" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Elias Koteas</span></a>), an affable skinhead (he's a punk with a shaved head), doesn't... buy it, and nearly blows Watts' cover by outing her in front of Keith, and a smattering of Goths and Metalheads.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bu3QOz1Ih8WJFxwwFLlvvibdIy7KdYWvdHVxabYwtKxDPhpUxbiA-a_sfn7ofSlqoKkYgfxhOzGG-eNX-ueijKXkWpulW1QFv3SuiDFqjNLN9WRCk1MSrebM1t5cDHJ_-Ut0cYtyP_g/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bu3QOz1Ih8WJFxwwFLlvvibdIy7KdYWvdHVxabYwtKxDPhpUxbiA-a_sfn7ofSlqoKkYgfxhOzGG-eNX-ueijKXkWpulW1QFv3SuiDFqjNLN9WRCk1MSrebM1t5cDHJ_-Ut0cYtyP_g/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGkMrdNZkyt4BcLHfcceRG1yivw-3BE9A3SLUjIVqHXx9k9ElX3RwmOgOZ38_LjYeXKpRrYp37TDhW3R89l23t-FMGD4SwW4L489MlyfaM3VGE3h_0C6tTUN4ZBOKqB-1oEvFzvuZ-gA/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGkMrdNZkyt4BcLHfcceRG1yivw-3BE9A3SLUjIVqHXx9k9ElX3RwmOgOZ38_LjYeXKpRrYp37TDhW3R89l23t-FMGD4SwW4L489MlyfaM3VGE3h_0C6tTUN4ZBOKqB-1oEvFzvuZ-gA/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Since serial rapists/murderers don't really have any use for college, Keith repeatedly shuts down his father's (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0039226/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t5" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">John Ashton</span></a>) multiple attempts to get him to "buckle down," and choose a college to attend once he finishes high school.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfzkIj92t8t5-WwC4qwnhOfcfdFXzcW_4VZSRebjQ-ztGjjxyYllGMwDqKQ8oaK_fsAp9OcVIBoO1Gxc4UsgpZIX1x8VTxRbkGM9Sax6DaFGFWH1PN0k_joEYgRqDA6dPWmhiKDmYP4to/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfzkIj92t8t5-WwC4qwnhOfcfdFXzcW_4VZSRebjQ-ztGjjxyYllGMwDqKQ8oaK_fsAp9OcVIBoO1Gxc4UsgpZIX1x8VTxRbkGM9Sax6DaFGFWH1PN0k_joEYgRqDA6dPWmhiKDmYP4to/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWLUhF7cmJkBbrDHhRs-aLcVGBtVy8YGie-aXa4THL0KAfJOFcxoYnIuU2XrmAYmbyG-qHIAeIdI9YuaE4pqORGW7MXmmz4U3PgBco4GrLo3f8fX0lrzDLG_YJXgiv8QVen_SQCQm8Vg/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWLUhF7cmJkBbrDHhRs-aLcVGBtVy8YGie-aXa4THL0KAfJOFcxoYnIuU2XrmAYmbyG-qHIAeIdI9YuaE4pqORGW7MXmmz4U3PgBco4GrLo3f8fX0lrzDLG_YJXgiv8QVen_SQCQm8Vg/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In the movie's most disturbing scene, Keith gets in trouble on purpose (he pulls the school's fire alarm). You see, the plan is to get sent to detention. I know, that doesn't sound like much of a plan. But the reason he does this is because he thinks Amanda is going to be there (while stalking her, he learns that Amanda has been given detention). Little does he know, but Amanda, no doubt using the shapeliness of her killer gams, manages to sweet talk her way out of serving any detention.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFCDswIJWULD38AV76i9h4_7UB9RA52EoZMpHISciMRgFQ5dkZKtcMOWxMPOkTZ0Uvjfuo9nTaB-FHtpn1BSdoR8Mu8DaUTmCKVWVocB8YJNwKobkkXkFHStaq2pM_xcyYQA6g3Ji8Ko/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFCDswIJWULD38AV76i9h4_7UB9RA52EoZMpHISciMRgFQ5dkZKtcMOWxMPOkTZ0Uvjfuo9nTaB-FHtpn1BSdoR8Mu8DaUTmCKVWVocB8YJNwKobkkXkFHStaq2pM_xcyYQA6g3Ji8Ko/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2OzUVgQEe4qp2BuL2Mrcpn4BCobE7cy7BqbZM-zaH82434ckyo4iwKZVKfKsolvbvEmi3W2ga8qaOS3lOUrVGEX1iHOmIxkjXiGxE7m0j-OCY6d5lmJNfwND5BlT39J8zotp13k9ZmLQ/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2OzUVgQEe4qp2BuL2Mrcpn4BCobE7cy7BqbZM-zaH82434ckyo4iwKZVKfKsolvbvEmi3W2ga8qaOS3lOUrVGEX1iHOmIxkjXiGxE7m0j-OCY6d5lmJNfwND5BlT39J8zotp13k9ZmLQ/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Finding it difficult to suppress her lesbian desire, Watts struggles to keep her girl cock under wraps. Watching her covet Amanda's femininity in the girls locker room was quite the eye-opener, and, not to mention, relatable af. I mean, who among us hasn't looked at Lea Thompson and said: I want to be her. I want her hair. I want her skin. I want her body. I want her everything. Am I right? Of course I'm right.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8SCzg60xw6IFlegEz6OJgFhZ3ByJQ3jfKhsCNxg_pp4pP6668gztIJfkxblQj1LyGU5x_87goQETvgHlKgd1slneQkbGSvq2-ySTUjQIv5b8gHhL9iU9FvL2VnUofNpakkJe3YbSCojw/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8SCzg60xw6IFlegEz6OJgFhZ3ByJQ3jfKhsCNxg_pp4pP6668gztIJfkxblQj1LyGU5x_87goQETvgHlKgd1slneQkbGSvq2-ySTUjQIv5b8gHhL9iU9FvL2VnUofNpakkJe3YbSCojw/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-13.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The look on Watts' face when Keith finally makes his move on Amanda says it all. She just let a vicious psychopath get his hooks into the woman she swore to protect. It's tragic.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0p4RKUBGy0Q8jpmplE0OAqt8QnIqY87fd_489EGy1VO6wJrN1hecXbOKClus-0ZLVBamIVa3wb3-A3t-sNPRxteK8ojRWztsQkwT8WNhRkE2RmLKmiVg5ldYC_gIYt_VRdbDBVuXGeHA/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-17.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0p4RKUBGy0Q8jpmplE0OAqt8QnIqY87fd_489EGy1VO6wJrN1hecXbOKClus-0ZLVBamIVa3wb3-A3t-sNPRxteK8ojRWztsQkwT8WNhRkE2RmLKmiVg5ldYC_gIYt_VRdbDBVuXGeHA/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-17.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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As you might expect, this simple act upsets the balance of the universe, as the entire school's social order is thrown into disarray.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiap-aSqY-biCA-YrZ-wOFCE1n7y0EzjXRuw6h26R6CjY9avBx5dnriXYChbcrT8uWkJI_xduPQpE2u0JrQUwPHMoi5oi4oLlGhZrtNnvC-I3-BA0YcXm5PynQllz8Kp3VNL_bovRFXmVE/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiap-aSqY-biCA-YrZ-wOFCE1n7y0EzjXRuw6h26R6CjY9avBx5dnriXYChbcrT8uWkJI_xduPQpE2u0JrQUwPHMoi5oi4oLlGhZrtNnvC-I3-BA0YcXm5PynQllz8Kp3VNL_bovRFXmVE/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Will Watts be able to stop Keith before he rapes and murders Amanda Jones? And how long will she be able keep the fact that she's a trans-lesbian a secret? It's hard to say, as the film offers no easy answers. I mean, will Watts have to masquerade as a trans-woman who digs a cishet man for the rest of her life?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt_GwZl4ffcWjR-MIwcdh7NtW5sjQIv5yOL77PEe0bPoRK8X0TEpm4z7xe-sVyE1pPDm1nVh5I86wdqm1Jj9CTlsMwo-6ZJjJdbNdId4jGagIPOViQBsG70yKvEo6LdqfmDrZVOkPXCE8/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-27.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt_GwZl4ffcWjR-MIwcdh7NtW5sjQIv5yOL77PEe0bPoRK8X0TEpm4z7xe-sVyE1pPDm1nVh5I86wdqm1Jj9CTlsMwo-6ZJjJdbNdId4jGagIPOViQBsG70yKvEo6LdqfmDrZVOkPXCE8/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-27.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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God, I hope not. Look at him! He's not Goth at all. *shudders*</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMpGANqwdGu3Axz8sLdI0CiUDMINAb-IeeT0AxkgOClfI0tGBrkDtjFMTo0L759E5U-ztnnmw4JO0npOownEKiTVi2RIPI_UZMV4tBefgCrPlt7oTizK881oyXz3tQntlb1aq8w-pR_bs/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMpGANqwdGu3Axz8sLdI0CiUDMINAb-IeeT0AxkgOClfI0tGBrkDtjFMTo0L759E5U-ztnnmw4JO0npOownEKiTVi2RIPI_UZMV4tBefgCrPlt7oTizK881oyXz3tQntlb1aq8w-pR_bs/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-22.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Speaking of Goth, the film's soundtrack might open with an industrial-tinged pop classic. But make no mistake, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094006/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Some Kind of Wonderful</span></a> is a Goth movie. Well, Goth pop. Or, better yet, Goth pop-lite. Three of the movie's key songs are performed by bands/artists who are super-Gothy.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi73drVZ2RGhgand_ogViQTgtiZ-5YUNhXZEaNwXYtUBYRbk7GYyljiEJh2aegOBboFskxgQ4Hil-px04EZDdVDZacYSPS48EzvTgYTLYzJJ6BZRMyelrq3gkV33hylg0B7_s9MtMWow0/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi73drVZ2RGhgand_ogViQTgtiZ-5YUNhXZEaNwXYtUBYRbk7GYyljiEJh2aegOBboFskxgQ4Hil-px04EZDdVDZacYSPS48EzvTgYTLYzJJ6BZRMyelrq3gkV33hylg0B7_s9MtMWow0/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-20.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Sadly, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flesh_for_Lulu" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Flesh for Lulu</span></a> (veterans of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batcave_(club)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Batcave</span></a> scene) and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_March_Violets" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The March Violets</span></a> (veterans of the Leeds scene - the same scene that spawned <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sisters_of_Mercy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Sisters of Mercy</span></a>) were not as Goth when this movie came out. Meaning, what you are hearing from them is basically watered-down Goth. Which is a damn shame. All that's missing from the OST is a song by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Loves_Jezebel" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gene Loves Jezebel</span></a>, who are another great example of a Goth band who slowly turned pop as the '80s progressed (they went from "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceE2_--pHp4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Shaving My Neck</span></a>" to "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih9_z5J1pY4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Desire</span></a>" within the span of three short years). </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2pLm6FXC7W5Ua48J0cfbQSOmN2RD6DumPgDP-GQYjREiOmoBXEyTwDHW3HsB__w5HdOzVdAOLKAsLF78ZPVvWF2O_W_NGtR78O7flq6DwDXJ89UPq9alM_1ta6bi_RdKbudlWjt8ub3E/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2pLm6FXC7W5Ua48J0cfbQSOmN2RD6DumPgDP-GQYjREiOmoBXEyTwDHW3HsB__w5HdOzVdAOLKAsLF78ZPVvWF2O_W_NGtR78O7flq6DwDXJ89UPq9alM_1ta6bi_RdKbudlWjt8ub3E/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-21.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In case you're wondering... Yes, I consider <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sexton" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Charlie Sexton</span></a>'s "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB3OACcOALU" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Beat's So Lonely</span></a>" to be Goth. Okay, it's Goth-adjacent, but still... At any rate, "Beat's So Lonely" is probably my fave song from the movie as of right now.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQECw6Q9Kf3xACXtSCdJWcTRbl_Od4GNdnEm1xeJFFjAYp-VzqDgYgAPTir2b5ZOMqtMM5mXVEp8suUspIZ2LusDzPk6HK_GJZaa_1_wl28B8_ppoM_FfqUA3XFx8gsmo3qy8gXQ072b8/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQECw6Q9Kf3xACXtSCdJWcTRbl_Od4GNdnEm1xeJFFjAYp-VzqDgYgAPTir2b5ZOMqtMM5mXVEp8suUspIZ2LusDzPk6HK_GJZaa_1_wl28B8_ppoM_FfqUA3XFx8gsmo3qy8gXQ072b8/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-06.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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As for a favourite character. I'm torn between Maddie Corman's Laura and Elias Koteas' Duncan. Anytime these two are onscreen the film seems to come alive. Plus, they're hilarious and are the only ones who didn't give off a stalker-ish vibe.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5l37EoV-HX5wFpg7hH9zEtubFdtxRr_sAsCf3M5Dc7nkU0umnBQeVX-YMi8BGMtLYjaUn57eyBZ2pr8ObpEjrP8mDwEHMK83T3sFBUD3pmrjMZ2ymGRbzCG3pLDygXyXKTBLvyHMwoo/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5l37EoV-HX5wFpg7hH9zEtubFdtxRr_sAsCf3M5Dc7nkU0umnBQeVX-YMi8BGMtLYjaUn57eyBZ2pr8ObpEjrP8mDwEHMK83T3sFBUD3pmrjMZ2ymGRbzCG3pLDygXyXKTBLvyHMwoo/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Oh, and that whole subplot that involves Keith spending all his hard earned money on a pair of earrings to give to Amanda Jones was just plain stupid. I mean, I can see spending it on electrolysis or laser hair removal (I've read that doing a bit of both can be quite effective). You know, something worthwhile. But earrings?!? What the fuck, Keith. You bland, totally unhinged, creepy as fuck, non-Goth motherfucker.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_AgTgpHbHzQq8pmD4yo2aO2H47STIkILl3ZdqK9v48bcHkTATy5lkh5r-x1vGRvSU98Yp8AUBxyraTZ36aNnsRFmkyV6wvCebyKsSwjSfNc2_4qGyp3_awei4UzSgUzmPVjf8gRwyQI4/s1600/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="853" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_AgTgpHbHzQq8pmD4yo2aO2H47STIkILl3ZdqK9v48bcHkTATy5lkh5r-x1vGRvSU98Yp8AUBxyraTZ36aNnsRFmkyV6wvCebyKsSwjSfNc2_4qGyp3_awei4UzSgUzmPVjf8gRwyQI4/s400/Some-Kind-of-Wonderful-Trans-X-01.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to piss like a racehorse (damn these fuckin' titty skittles).</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-47213207794071179972017-05-21T20:55:00.000-04:002017-05-21T20:55:31.278-04:00Pretty in Pink (Howard Deutch, 1986)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKGAY_FIdEktORUvemCiiW9v3eyZ2YvIs3GApOMuUabbgWiTRR8YMKgK19OM7etg0uJn4RZxw1VS5W3MCBl2ommSjvV2o5youshz32fSuDod35IXf9EQxtlzQVidlhu2ydlAUJHzTglMw/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-Poster-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKGAY_FIdEktORUvemCiiW9v3eyZ2YvIs3GApOMuUabbgWiTRR8YMKgK19OM7etg0uJn4RZxw1VS5W3MCBl2ommSjvV2o5youshz32fSuDod35IXf9EQxtlzQVidlhu2ydlAUJHzTglMw/s200/Pretty-in-Pink-Poster-1.jpg" width="140" /></a></div>
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As they're leaving Trax to go on their first date, Blane asks Andie, "So, do you wanna go home and change"? Obviously implying that what she is currently wearing is not appropriate first date attire. Can you believe this guy? There's a lot to like about John Hughes' <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_in_Pink" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pretty in Pink</span></a>, but there's a lot that will make your spiro-saturated blood boil. And the scenario I just mentioned is one of the most infuriating. If I was Andie, the date would have ended the second that glob of verbal repulsiveness passed through the mouth-hole attached to Blane's smug face. Now, you could say: Hey, give the guy a break. I mean, he's not used to dating girls who shop at thrift stores. But I'm not going to be doing that today. No fucking way. Besides, his decision to then take Andie to a party being thrown at James Spader's house was just as misguided. And, no, this isn't the kooky, lovable version of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000652/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t5" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">James Spader</span></a> from 2002 we're talking about. This James Spader circa 1986. In other words, we're talking about someone who is a major douchebag. I don't know 'bout you, but "major douchebag" actually undersells the level of douchiness James Spader is putting out there in this movie. At any rate, what was Blane thinking? I realize that the whole dating sequence is set up to highlight the colossal divide that exists between Blane and Andie's different social structures. But never have seen someone act so clueless before. Seriously, you would think, judging by his actions, that he was trying to sabotage his relationship with the redheaded enchantress right from the get-go.</div>
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Mind you, I'm <i>not</i> one of those <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091790/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pretty in Pink</span></a> fans who, after they're done trashing Blane, goes ahead and starts listing the reasons why Andie should be dating her best bud Duckie instead. I don't think so. Despite possessing "strong lips" and a unique sense of style, Duckie is a clingy crybaby and a bit of a stalker. Actually, all the men in this film have a stalker-ish vibe about them.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpsSfYwS5FLyyd2WYA694q_hrF61rhG6g9X8lkUNZ3aYINsXgsGZHdUJYFpgDL4idkGZj-hhzSzq3SGSQBS4Yt3rTvvJ4JD9z8AmRad1hOFtnuVQAZYkNDoLnx_1gxCpY_2oemJFjTJo/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpsSfYwS5FLyyd2WYA694q_hrF61rhG6g9X8lkUNZ3aYINsXgsGZHdUJYFpgDL4idkGZj-hhzSzq3SGSQBS4Yt3rTvvJ4JD9z8AmRad1hOFtnuVQAZYkNDoLnx_1gxCpY_2oemJFjTJo/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Watching Blane stalk Andie in the halls and then show up at Trax, the record store where Andie works after school, like that was kind of unnerving. Think about it. Who wants some guy with no personality or fashion sense following you around for most of the day? I know I sure don't.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE9pZaRfn01f7bGinQBXBOHZ-8CASOqWqzItge7O5yfNj3I9AD4acNe5NWRefRfiG5n9yTYa3TRD7HMpz976ADEwbfHrQzzXmWMRVb0U42dD5-TrfmdZnO1Oi6RRO4eQwuVEwZ3-q9P5A/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE9pZaRfn01f7bGinQBXBOHZ-8CASOqWqzItge7O5yfNj3I9AD4acNe5NWRefRfiG5n9yTYa3TRD7HMpz976ADEwbfHrQzzXmWMRVb0U42dD5-TrfmdZnO1Oi6RRO4eQwuVEwZ3-q9P5A/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Wait, did I just say that Duckie, played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001083/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jon Cryer</span></a> (<a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2013/11/dudes-penelope-spheeris-1987.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dudes</span></a>), had a "unique sense of style"? While it's true, Duckie is a style icon. You'll notice that when Blane (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000530/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t6" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Andrew McCarthy</span></a>) goes to talk Andie (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000208/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Molly Ringwald</span></a>) in the place where all the cool/misunderstood students hangout, the joint is crawling with Duckie clones.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXPhylGlEze26Dbw9SYovH2HjvDDgpXUH9iYN7dCyyHeebyLb06HJKbnGlot1Lqn5fU1K9ABbyPQaLRm8JetPxYeFiA5A9K5VsReFFmxHq0mKGbrznX2oFHl42pTQoAGD1cisnurLBCBI/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXPhylGlEze26Dbw9SYovH2HjvDDgpXUH9iYN7dCyyHeebyLb06HJKbnGlot1Lqn5fU1K9ABbyPQaLRm8JetPxYeFiA5A9K5VsReFFmxHq0mKGbrznX2oFHl42pTQoAGD1cisnurLBCBI/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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We're talking garish blazers, brightly-coloured blazers, tweed blazers, check blazers, blazers covered with anachronistic military insignia. It's like an irregular blazer free-for-all back there. Not to mention, vests! Bolo ties! Studded bracelets! Jelly bracelets! Pointy monk strap shoes!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBs8IZ4_oDpVQUlAjDOzi4Ck5duwBZjkrEfL_HCxNbc925bcz3E_kxeSHUQDE3VmmQZJ3isZ2KGKQaVYdurBQAG0QMxiBWwD_5y4DVYByyqzTLsRywW5DLPTFDgntcfgijD9rGv0dXlk/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBs8IZ4_oDpVQUlAjDOzi4Ck5duwBZjkrEfL_HCxNbc925bcz3E_kxeSHUQDE3VmmQZJ3isZ2KGKQaVYdurBQAG0QMxiBWwD_5y4DVYByyqzTLsRywW5DLPTFDgntcfgijD9rGv0dXlk/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWchbfM7hValK5WlqOSOpSDQ-Ty-_mzvklysgoTC2aZCJIrk3IfMTbMOlUCegZVb9TWLzO6-fDxkKwK_-ZlBhUqw6joosMoKpM9FFGEaPLcAm3nAIuTxXSfiyw_tqDtdL73ZsfoL5rw4/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWchbfM7hValK5WlqOSOpSDQ-Ty-_mzvklysgoTC2aZCJIrk3IfMTbMOlUCegZVb9TWLzO6-fDxkKwK_-ZlBhUqw6joosMoKpM9FFGEaPLcAm3nAIuTxXSfiyw_tqDtdL73ZsfoL5rw4/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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And my God. The fedoras! Never have I seen so many young people in fedoras. Of course, that statement makes sense when said between 1986 and, oh, let's say, the year 2000. But have you walked down the street of any major North American city over the past fifteen years? There are fedoras everywhere. You could say that everyone has morphed into Duckie. Yeah, yeah, not everyone looks like Duckie. But you can definitely feel his presence. It's kinda eerie when you think about it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7BQgmgil3LO1JVTLqLmR-P5VurxhJPMU7BG-Wa-bz00rTLyJpV1yl0E_7z6uTDOAm07-acxCWMbMh0YQ5jjjUvq_bY8CfiixS4MRYshkDBXyRftlY0Isxu_AQ8PD2kz9c4WBaje8fR8k/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X31.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7BQgmgil3LO1JVTLqLmR-P5VurxhJPMU7BG-Wa-bz00rTLyJpV1yl0E_7z6uTDOAm07-acxCWMbMh0YQ5jjjUvq_bY8CfiixS4MRYshkDBXyRftlY0Isxu_AQ8PD2kz9c4WBaje8fR8k/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X31.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Who would have thought a character from a John Hughes movie would go on to become the template for the hipster movement?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJvmw8wwVLjMoiA1L5gm_c5WTiQSDEvMDbl_ksHbo9tab7hB2l3Uwn2hAGoZLan9YsU8GYDnFWazOeEGkkAbWDp92A7Ni7qOg1epMmy2-nsLRvB-STVq0r5kc7j9N3Di3XFEg4i0YRStM/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJvmw8wwVLjMoiA1L5gm_c5WTiQSDEvMDbl_ksHbo9tab7hB2l3Uwn2hAGoZLan9YsU8GYDnFWazOeEGkkAbWDp92A7Ni7qOg1epMmy2-nsLRvB-STVq0r5kc7j9N3Di3XFEg4i0YRStM/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X13.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Don't be fooled, though, the toxic brand of masculinity that the likes of Blane and Steff stink of still permeates the atmosphere. Anytime you see a man assume that a woman owes him something, whether it be her attention or even sex, you can thank the likes Blane and Steff... And, in a way, Duckie is no better than them. He has this idea in his head that if he keeps harassing Andie, she'll eventually fall in love with him.</div>
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At the end of the day, Andie shouldn't date any of them. Okay, she should definitely fuck James Spader... a bunch of times. But as for long term relationships? Yeah, I don't think so.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BXKZhDd5fz15aX7J6dOd9ki5etk_dOBaCpM7DgJnc9Ez7EKIkKWuBYjsGBR3-STb-5eovxcxVg1Wd7hSicUSeffypT6sHQjA3nSFPJBurQ7BMm48UZIvnBAMCsCs_p3mThbMZEFqt-o/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BXKZhDd5fz15aX7J6dOd9ki5etk_dOBaCpM7DgJnc9Ez7EKIkKWuBYjsGBR3-STb-5eovxcxVg1Wd7hSicUSeffypT6sHQjA3nSFPJBurQ7BMm48UZIvnBAMCsCs_p3mThbMZEFqt-o/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X20.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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My advice to Andie is: Listen to music... on vinyl (it's 1985/86!!! <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=did37kTTba8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Depeche Mode</span></a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTcFRb0JRy0" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Skinny Puppy</span></a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_ICl20EJjY" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Cocteau Twins</span></a> and countless others are putting out albums, like, all the time), continue to play around with fashion, try dating a woman. It's 1986! You're living in one of the most exciting times to be alive. Don't waste it by dating a bunch of needy twerps.</div>
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Hell, date a trans person. I'm not sure, but I think I spotted one during the fedora scene. They're wearing a brimmed hat and carrying a camouflage backpack. Trans or not, there's definitely some gender fluidity brewing at this particular high school.</div>
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Anyway, yeah. I'd tell Andie to date Iona (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001633/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Annie Potts</span></a>), the owner of Trax, but she seems to fall under the soul crushing spell that is mid-1980s heterosexuality. Sure, heterosexuality is fun now (you know, with all those newfangled kinks and fetishes and whatnot), but mid-1980s heterosexuality was a different story all-together. You can watch Iona slowly succumb to it by watching how her wardrobe changes over the course of the film.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiTSeZwZK67rGGjzm74aP1-KFEHVp9gXUkrTX78sv46XRUuhHNWg65r_fO3X5sAbZTm3I6JHfbIxDdWNfPwDMfiP9AzUw0zPFuCR7sF-jK8ITAsVgKzo3TwfQUvB1dA30Q7XcxDp1EHA/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiTSeZwZK67rGGjzm74aP1-KFEHVp9gXUkrTX78sv46XRUuhHNWg65r_fO3X5sAbZTm3I6JHfbIxDdWNfPwDMfiP9AzUw0zPFuCR7sF-jK8ITAsVgKzo3TwfQUvB1dA30Q7XcxDp1EHA/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In her first scene, she's rocking a bondage-inspired punk look. And to top it off, she uses a stapler against a shoplifter. Bad-ass.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9muIur7JlwTcAQ_vLIp7I5Au-vzDdsyZwHjXoEkzeMkFwDjlcu-iA-5N0NjjZ09jDzmQ0byNO_bisj95DjNwSMgfjn7TLqbEt6U5slO0aFUiFNTu1HYDOEfzmgLbqQTvEGes0ew7cK4/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9muIur7JlwTcAQ_vLIp7I5Au-vzDdsyZwHjXoEkzeMkFwDjlcu-iA-5N0NjjZ09jDzmQ0byNO_bisj95DjNwSMgfjn7TLqbEt6U5slO0aFUiFNTu1HYDOEfzmgLbqQTvEGes0ew7cK4/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Her second outfit is a new wave look with new romantic flourishes. All that was missing was a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXBJgmYDDJw" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Visage</span></a> song blasting chic-ly on the soundtrack (the film's real soundtrack features three(!) <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mitw5haqx5Y" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">New Order</span></a> tracks).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCRE-jxFFHikkNPxL5NDMcpovIDisgaFzXHVS2WAA5M8YoL2fXy5SnU88LE-IA2zasWHuN3zw1uEMbVyit9O_0svkQZMVDQ0xfylbZP7rdK6R1fjvNaRzTghuCjOaahxuT45FQkzoWhk/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCCRE-jxFFHikkNPxL5NDMcpovIDisgaFzXHVS2WAA5M8YoL2fXy5SnU88LE-IA2zasWHuN3zw1uEMbVyit9O_0svkQZMVDQ0xfylbZP7rdK6R1fjvNaRzTghuCjOaahxuT45FQkzoWhk/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X23.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The third and I guess fourth outfits combine cultural appropriation and nostalgia, as Iona embraces that brief trend where everyone pretended they were Chinese or Japanese (or, in some cases, both at once) and sports a 1960s-style beehive hairdo/pink prom dress.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcyzVWB9dMwIf_9OpNn0Zbz5cYHQqSqYRNmq-oDxXysFxyKfZ5hJwkCebrnpYOWGZJ6ksIihp4MpYAz_mRqHpRRCty4QU1b6eYgoX3IZzf29ade1RakKyMJPGqbF2fOjYSKEKxvX4bb0/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcyzVWB9dMwIf_9OpNn0Zbz5cYHQqSqYRNmq-oDxXysFxyKfZ5hJwkCebrnpYOWGZJ6ksIihp4MpYAz_mRqHpRRCty4QU1b6eYgoX3IZzf29ade1RakKyMJPGqbF2fOjYSKEKxvX4bb0/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, if you were Chinese or Japanese in the 1980s, you pretended you were <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_(entertainer)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Madonna</span></a>. Who, by the way, is mentioned in this film. This might sound odd, but it was kinda freaky hearing people talk about Madonna in the 1980s.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKWIl8rd0QJBX5azHQB7rQDPeO2XsFfadUuR_L-a1vmT5ogzVdZncK5rPE4rjwpHXD8qXDBpU1zXu1_rJbjoF0UEJE2X2VZN0KCJsU66QUrB1o35PbDQafR9bK8ggpkeUjBUoaRcMzDFE/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X27.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKWIl8rd0QJBX5azHQB7rQDPeO2XsFfadUuR_L-a1vmT5ogzVdZncK5rPE4rjwpHXD8qXDBpU1zXu1_rJbjoF0UEJE2X2VZN0KCJsU66QUrB1o35PbDQafR9bK8ggpkeUjBUoaRcMzDFE/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X27.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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At the end, Iona sells out and becomes a yuppie. Which, in a way, sums up the last ten years (1976-86) pretty accurately.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgjgzFh3IBhll3UvaWGzAEeOQc_cONHZ6iQoFXqCfOBnNn4prccvYksf-RJo_Die6UAeIQjB58KHytwikICp6AgFj0o267ylKAyeFne84YtndkZvSdQWP3cwBrv4Q3PxfWogB4dOx18V4/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgjgzFh3IBhll3UvaWGzAEeOQc_cONHZ6iQoFXqCfOBnNn4prccvYksf-RJo_Die6UAeIQjB58KHytwikICp6AgFj0o267ylKAyeFne84YtndkZvSdQWP3cwBrv4Q3PxfWogB4dOx18V4/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X22.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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You start off with punk (safety pin earrings) and new wave (pink lip gloss on weekdays), dabble with cultural appropriation (remember when you wore a Japanese rising sun bandana to that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye2f2aCjA7k" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kajagoogoo</span></a> concert?) and nostalgia (admit it, you used to watch <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sha_Na_Na_(TV_series)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sha Na Na</span></a> reruns... unironically). And then you sell out and move to Connecticut. The end.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjylWWsWnnotMY7py67bQimBa28EQUmOOml8jCtIfqhfbL1Pi65Y2JT7HIiwrrUz8wrSqh9vf2D6ez8LBaVe1nEh3Y6cq9Lj1XS3iInE58CxJc7S14-Ro68Bhz_vOvkBtcBXpQZSzOYoWw/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X30.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjylWWsWnnotMY7py67bQimBa28EQUmOOml8jCtIfqhfbL1Pi65Y2JT7HIiwrrUz8wrSqh9vf2D6ez8LBaVe1nEh3Y6cq9Lj1XS3iInE58CxJc7S14-Ro68Bhz_vOvkBtcBXpQZSzOYoWw/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X30.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Random PIP observations:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWsP4VrGKPGEkDnjmgQG1krZAHW3wkvPYFKDljbkd4dPucRh-ApCoMRDA1gTznpqqQlkf8HNAC5UMnPdn_pMfRwDcnm4-dKoa_H40qJvreYhDcZTiMstFiiCn-KOMN8RCgUGV9ZcShxM/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X26.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWsP4VrGKPGEkDnjmgQG1krZAHW3wkvPYFKDljbkd4dPucRh-ApCoMRDA1gTznpqqQlkf8HNAC5UMnPdn_pMfRwDcnm4-dKoa_H40qJvreYhDcZTiMstFiiCn-KOMN8RCgUGV9ZcShxM/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X26.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Duckie, from the looks of it, lives in an abandoned crack house.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1f7KHtD7k2yMy18TbmxxQovt_gGgDkYkq1R3O3Dvw5PjxkNSTCbIlm2Ds0Wm5MeAqSjh9WgIe-J5gzwp8zB8h4T5mcAJEHddc-osXP_YHuc4Fe4Y9cxLHWq7ERsvcwApUTaprQVcP2bE/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X29.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1f7KHtD7k2yMy18TbmxxQovt_gGgDkYkq1R3O3Dvw5PjxkNSTCbIlm2Ds0Wm5MeAqSjh9WgIe-J5gzwp8zB8h4T5mcAJEHddc-osXP_YHuc4Fe4Y9cxLHWq7ERsvcwApUTaprQVcP2bE/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X29.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Gina Gershon can be spotted twice, once during the gym scene and again at the prom.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrvNDn2m98MSE0QfNyyi5l8z7hRvmu4Ht6FVUB8tzQmQemJgeTa3Xg0glr2mnArtOO1R_nvHN_0fPp2lZ8rRcg_OT8r_9phNkUgNFweJ0yLLLHNdC5WUAjQ5u06tOzLWX6OrD9sxjOFo/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrvNDn2m98MSE0QfNyyi5l8z7hRvmu4Ht6FVUB8tzQmQemJgeTa3Xg0glr2mnArtOO1R_nvHN_0fPp2lZ8rRcg_OT8r_9phNkUgNFweJ0yLLLHNdC5WUAjQ5u06tOzLWX6OrD9sxjOFo/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Did you know that Trax, the record store where Andie works, is based on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_Trax!_Records" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Wax Trax! Records</span></a>, the iconic record store/record label in Chicago? Yeah, I didn't know this. Apparently it's where John Hughes used to shop when he lived in Chicago.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAk9ps9xSqvdvPwGhwPYDLodFMEToj7fNNVyfav0hWU8duHDdmMpa9hDivN7nPuJa8-qLbylcKkPJzxTyNa1hbzJBaZjzpTszlEoif7K9GUERtb_PH3ZUveEWYWjbXT3VhaTwB_VPjxhQ/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X28.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAk9ps9xSqvdvPwGhwPYDLodFMEToj7fNNVyfav0hWU8duHDdmMpa9hDivN7nPuJa8-qLbylcKkPJzxTyNa1hbzJBaZjzpTszlEoif7K9GUERtb_PH3ZUveEWYWjbXT3VhaTwB_VPjxhQ/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X28.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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The DJs at the prom are ridiculous. I mean, really? Does it take that much gear to spin <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH7MwYBdSvM" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">OMD</span></a> records?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglfkOtWQs8ISwmoH-mPV2uQmdGN5AobqSMlL0dN4AsHCdrsnd201LZCakTDa3pHryZAH49AOya-9PPghJPwY0ebVpVVhdW300i_RLyoriLlm9qiCWBjSMAj65AxXanjaKEsDHvhM1_F38/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglfkOtWQs8ISwmoH-mPV2uQmdGN5AobqSMlL0dN4AsHCdrsnd201LZCakTDa3pHryZAH49AOya-9PPghJPwY0ebVpVVhdW300i_RLyoriLlm9qiCWBjSMAj65AxXanjaKEsDHvhM1_F38/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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A copy of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvJiyOPmsJs" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Residents'</span></a> <a href="https://www.discogs.com/Residents-Diskomo-Goosebump/release/394718" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Diskomo/Goosebump</span></a> can be seen for sale at Trax for 7.99.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfwKhSpXwjBj-K5Xsn6F_v0exsW3bQCRbkTRDd24rql6eZZe0OfGBfVxUQEDS_CfGXypRQoSuMX8cYF917RLudkmL42djDVQhVL2cZFpdZYrJ59t6Sh5Xfifr91CnAQq99ieGYxE1WOT4/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfwKhSpXwjBj-K5Xsn6F_v0exsW3bQCRbkTRDd24rql6eZZe0OfGBfVxUQEDS_CfGXypRQoSuMX8cYF917RLudkmL42djDVQhVL2cZFpdZYrJ59t6Sh5Xfifr91CnAQq99ieGYxE1WOT4/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Hey, Duckie. Yeah, Ed Norton from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Honeymooners" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Honeymooners</span></a> called, he wants his entire wardrobe back.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisk9YdQZIOLXkQlNID_UPCs-3qJ8GgWZEFDLaLnJGhfDdRnk7nTUJzXm3a_YQsH2iJz5YPEVNI7aw1Xayp94OYtuTbUzwm-Odrtud8LKHw8oHl1DWDZt4IhTEpH9wYDrZYhCe8Re6_zRM/s1600/Pretty-in-Pink-X09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisk9YdQZIOLXkQlNID_UPCs-3qJ8GgWZEFDLaLnJGhfDdRnk7nTUJzXm3a_YQsH2iJz5YPEVNI7aw1Xayp94OYtuTbUzwm-Odrtud8LKHw8oHl1DWDZt4IhTEpH9wYDrZYhCe8Re6_zRM/s400/Pretty-in-Pink-X09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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And finally, Andie can't even surf the 1985-86 version of the internet without being harassed. Typical.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="233" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/S-rAFVlr65k" width="415"></iframe><br /></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-83948550556632675682017-05-14T20:15:00.001-04:002021-11-06T22:44:46.792-04:00Dune (David Lynch, 1984)<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QeYBTRsrGdWKEusk58A4JDq2ykh3z53iYIdjFMw9gxOyKj8Kku90PiQbl7-fXi3ue_ygIBDjihJnq23TErElSQjddX94DkkCyGoendvPYbSKX7vRcMJE_n6WpVjy1NxFHTRCZxs21kg/s1600/Dune-1984-Poster.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8QeYBTRsrGdWKEusk58A4JDq2ykh3z53iYIdjFMw9gxOyKj8Kku90PiQbl7-fXi3ue_ygIBDjihJnq23TErElSQjddX94DkkCyGoendvPYbSKX7vRcMJE_n6WpVjy1NxFHTRCZxs21kg/s200/Dune-1984-Poster.jpg" width="127" /></a></div>
Call me crazy, but I think there might be a connection between the spice and the worms. What that connection is, I'm not entirely sure. But what I do know is... Oh, wait. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000515/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t9" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Virginia Madsen</span></a> has started talking again. Just a second... Okay, I think she's done. All right, where was I? Ah, yes, the spice and the worms of Arrakis, a sort of spice planet. Since the discovery of the spice back in the year who gives a shit, humanity has longed to control the spice. In fact, according to Baron... What the fuck! (What happened?) You won't believe this, but Virginia Madsen has started talking again. It's my fault. I mean, I had three options at my disposal when it came to watching <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087182/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a> for the very first time the other night. The first option was the theatrical cut. I said, no way, I ain't watching that. The second option was the extended cut. This option seemed tempting, but director <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000186/?ref_=ttfc_fc_dr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">David Lynch</span></a> famously had his name removed from this version of the film, so, I passed on it. The third option was something called "The Work-print Cut." Cobbled together by a fan(s) of the film, the work-print cut combines both the theatrical cut and the extended cut and uses the notes of David Lynch as a sort of guidepost... I think. Now, I'm not sure if Virginia Madsen's opening slab of exposition is longer in this version. Nevertheless, I just sat through three hours of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dune_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a>, and my mind is... throbbing like one of those pulsating pus-laden cysts that litter the right side Baron Vladimir Harkonnen's greasy face. I'm no dermatologist, but I think Baron Vladimir Harkonnen should start washing with soap that contains tea tree oil. I've read that it helps remove sebum from the skin, thus preventing the chances of your pores from becoming clogged.<br />
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Yes, I realize that Baron Vladimir Harkonnen already has a doctor, played by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0162361/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Leonardo Cimino</span></a>, who is currently treating his severe case of space acne. But he isn't doing a very good job, now is he?<br />
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While I could talk about the Baron's clogged pores for hours on end, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dune_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a> isn't really about space acne. It's about spice, baby.<br />
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However, it's the acne plagued Baron Harkonnen who says so succinctly at one point: "He who controls the spice, controls the universe."<br />
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While the Baron (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_McMillan_(actor)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kenneth McMillan</span></a>), the ruler of Giedi Prime and the leader of House Harkonnen, wants to control the spice. He is, actually, under the control of Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001207/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">José Ferrer</span></a>), the leader of the Known Universe, who resides on the Planet Kaitain. When Duke Leto Atreides (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%BCrgen_Prochnow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jürgen Prochnow</span></a>), the leader of House Atreides on the Planet Caladan, takes over the Planet Arrakis, a.k.a. Spice World, this enrages the Baron, who, along with his demented sons/gay lovers, Feyd (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sting_(musician)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sting</span></a>) and The Beast Rabban (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_L._Smith" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Paul L. Smith</span></a>), plots to bring down House Atreides, and takeover spice production on the Planet Arrakis.<br />
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In-between all this scheming, lot's of weird ass nonsense takes place.</div>
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Now, with so many planets and so many characters to keep track of, it's easy to see how someone might get lost.<br />
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In order to prevent this from happening, we end up spending the bulk of our time following Paul Atreides (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyle_MacLachlan" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kyle MacLachlan</span></a>), the duke's son.<br />
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I know, what kind of name for a kid is "Paul"? But then again, his mom's name is Jessica (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000768/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Francesca Annis</span></a>). What I mean is, in a film populated by characters with names like, Shadout Mapes (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Hunt" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Linda Hunt</span></a>), a shadowy Fremen housekeeper who is always carrying a crysknife, Thufir Hawat (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0428086/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t6" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Freddie Jones</span></a>), House Atreides' bushy-browed head of security, and Gurney Halleck (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001772/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t17" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Patrick Stewart</span></a>), Warmaster for House Atreides, Paul and Jessica seem out of place.<br />
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While the story of Paul's rise from being a wide-eyed duke in training to a spice worm-riding God is super compelling, I couldn't help but be obsessed by the oft-kilter goings-on transpiring on Giedi Prime, the home of House Harkonnen.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, Planet Caladan is loaded with talented actors. The aforementioned Jürgen Prochnow, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001492/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kyle MacLachlan</span></a>, Patrick Stewart and Freddie Jones, for example, are all great. As are, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0430151/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t7" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Richard Jordan</span></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001777/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t19" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dean Stockwell</span></a>, who plays Doctor Yueh. But Giedi Prime has <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0573299/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t12" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kenneth McMillan</span></a> as the awful Baron Harkonnen, a balloon-shaped tyrant covered in cysts, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0620756/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t13" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Jack Nance</span></a> as Nefud, a Harkonnen lackey...<br />
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...Paul L. Smith (<a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2009/04/pieces-juan-piquer-simon-1982.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pieces</span></a>) as The Beast Rabban, a disgustingly vile man who sweats pure evil, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001776/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t18" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sting</span></a> as Feyd, a lanky ginger who digs knives and loves doing crunches (the entire planet, by the way, is populated by redheads), and, my personal favourite, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000374/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brad Dourif</span></a> as Piter De Vries (his "juice of sapho" monologue was glorious), the Baron's right hand man, who, strangely enough, doesn't have red hair (edit: Piter de Vries is a Mentat, a human computer employed by House Harkonnen).<br />
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Okay, now that you got the image of all those repugnant motherfuckers in your head. Imagine them all in the same green-walled room. I don't know 'bout you, but watching a bunch of repugnant motherfuckers acting all gross 'n' junk was kind of awesome. Did I feel sad whenever the Baron's undulating cysts weren't onscreen? In a way, yes. Yes, I did. There's something about these rupugnant motherfuckers that was quite appealing.<br />
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And that appeal seemed to go through the roof when the Baron drains/fucks/absorbs... um... Whatever the Baron did to that boy-toy, who was, for some reason, planting fake purple flowers at gun point, was tremendously discombobulating.<br />
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Actually, now that I think about it, if you were to ask me to describe <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087182/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a> using only two words, I would say it was: tremendously discombobulating. Yeah, I like that.<br />
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Kooky wordplay aside. Even though three hours might seem a tad excessive, I couldn't help but be sucked into this unnecessarily complicated world of spice and giant worms. And, in a bizarre twist, I ended up rooting for Paul to defeat my beloved Baron. It's bizarre because I usually loathe these bland Luke Skywalker types. But there was something different going on here. Or maybe it's because Kyle MacLachlan (<a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2014/03/showgirls-paul-verhoeven-1995.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Showgirls</span></a>) is awesome. There you go.<br />
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I've always wanted to review a David Lynch movie on here. Why I haven't done one is a bit of a mystery. One day, I asked a friend: If I was going to review a David Lynch film, which one should I do? And, without hesitation, they said, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087182/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a>. After thinking about it for, oh, I don't know, five whole seconds, I said: You're absolutely right. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dune_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a> it is.<br />
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Quirky fun-fact: My only connection to <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087182/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dune</span></a> up until this point was through the early 1990s techno rave scene. You see, a U.K. techno project called "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eon_(musician)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">EON</span></a>" released two tracks back in '91. And both, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lgQp3OTiNw" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Spice</span></a>" and "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1R9nI7g4uw&t=77s" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Fear Is the Mind-Killer</span></a>," sample the movie rather heavily. The spice must flow.</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-23688040245232870442017-05-07T21:15:00.000-04:002017-05-07T21:15:10.636-04:00Blood Games (Tanya Rosenberg, 1990)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXQPMxOtm5EWBHT6Q8n8_gQOVZxJTggVFLhtJyacCRpL93IqMqUqPayv5AbSPFAnrh8g1gLPjjasd_7iTs-KbDq6vKj5ZJXnipsAOXiTXG_jP3NL7F6jTFFkZ7T3gi0AK2LGtOBBAt-M/s1600/Blood-Games-Cover-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXQPMxOtm5EWBHT6Q8n8_gQOVZxJTggVFLhtJyacCRpL93IqMqUqPayv5AbSPFAnrh8g1gLPjjasd_7iTs-KbDq6vKj5ZJXnipsAOXiTXG_jP3NL7F6jTFFkZ7T3gi0AK2LGtOBBAt-M/s200/Blood-Games-Cover-1.jpg" width="110" /></a>We can all agree that unchecked masculinity can be a lot of things. Harmful, pernicious, sexy, and even poisonous at times, masculinity is a sickness. But toxic? I wouldn't go that far. Or would I? After watching <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099151/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blood Games</span></a>, I'm going to have to give the subject some thought. As the masculinity seen throughout this <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3345530/?ref_=ttfc_fc_dr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Tanya Rosenberg</span></a> directed film is definitely toxic. I know, you're thinking to yourself: Of course it's toxic, the film was directed by a woman. That's true. But watching how the men behave in this film seemed like a pretty accurate portrayal (it took five men to write this movie, by the way). Granted, group-think does play a part in it as well, as it clearly undermines the ability of some of the men to make sound/rash decisions. But make no mistake, the toxic masculinity depicted in this film is real. And we get a taste of it right from the get-go, as we witness the all-female Babe and the Ballgirls playing against a team made up entirely of loutish men (their shirts covered in beer stains, their hearts filled with rape) in the opening scene. Unfortunately, I was too distracted by the uniforms the ladies of the Ballgirls were wearing. What I mean is, on the film's VHS cover, it shows five women, four in jean shorts and one in bicycle shorts. First of all, none of these women are in the movie. And secondly, where are the jean shorts? Ugh. Anyway, their baseball uniforms consist of a pair of yellow shorts and a sleeveless white and yellow jersey that is usually tied in a knot above the player's stomach. Despite feeling like I was mislead by the VHS cover (serves me right for expecting a trashy slasher/rape revenge flick to be honest and forthright), I was completely satisfied with uniforms worn by Babe and the Ballgirls.</div>
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And it's a good thing I was. I mean, if I wasn't, what am I doing? I'll tell you what I'm doing, I'm watching baseball!</div>
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It took, oh, I don't know, maybe three or four minutes to realize that this is the most baseball I've watched in donkey's years. I know, the horror. I was like, what am I doing?!? Of course, the fact that <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-caligari-stephen-sayadian-1989.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dr. Caligari</span></a>'s Laura Albert plays Babe, their star pitcher, did ease the pain somewhat. But seriously, I'm watching people play baseball! How fucked up is that? And get this, they're playing it in the middle of the day! Ahhh, it was awful.</div>
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Okay, where was I? Ah, yes, toxic masculinity. It's on full display during the game, as the loutish men, lead by Roy (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0192003/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gregory Scott Cummins</span></a>) and Holt (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235737/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t6" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Don Dowe</span></a>), would sexually assault the ballgirls whenever they could (either with unwanted groping or equally unwanted attempts to remove their shorts). This repugnant display not only angers the Ballgirls, it causes their coach, Midnight (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0353448/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t5" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ross Hagen</span></a>), to lose his shit on several occasions.</div>
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Managing to survive the game/ordeal and come up with a victory, the Ballgirls return their hotel(?) to shower and get changed.</div>
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At first I thought the entire crowd cheering on the uncouth antics of Roy, Holt and the rest of these assholes was made up of entirely men. But if you look closely, you'll notice a lot women are rooting for the men as well. Robbed of their femininity (they sport flannel work shirts and nondescript trousers), these women have obviously been infected by... yep, you guessed it, toxic masculinity.</div>
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Sure, some of their boorish behaviour is fueled by alcohol. But I'd like to think these people would be just as corrosive whilst not intoxicated.</div>
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Now that the film has established that everyone in town is gigantic piece of human garbage, we need the conflict to transfer off the baseball pitch. And that comes when Midnight goes to collect the money he earned betting that his Ballgirls would beat that unorganized collection of beer-swigging knuckle-draggers.</div>
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Since he made the bet with Mino (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0139393/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ken Carpenter</span></a>), Roy's ex-military dad, Midnight confronts him in the men's toilet at a local bar.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizdb8iAhyphenhyphen4_z9tkxlaZkr29le_EYetEFZyGFuIbteB7OXwo3Tixl1-LJgfgO4ZfKy_5zBe8czgBfPqG6hRqLFU9fjCURs4DSptvDzcS-q0myy2tzcJwlx9Uspjk71_ryr0Jg-_F9SClVc/s1600/Blood-Games-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizdb8iAhyphenhyphen4_z9tkxlaZkr29le_EYetEFZyGFuIbteB7OXwo3Tixl1-LJgfgO4ZfKy_5zBe8czgBfPqG6hRqLFU9fjCURs4DSptvDzcS-q0myy2tzcJwlx9Uspjk71_ryr0Jg-_F9SClVc/s400/Blood-Games-12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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As you might expect, the collection doesn't go as smoothly as planned. Feelings are hurt, people are murdered.</div>
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Did I mention that Roy and Holt try to rape two of the Ballgirls? Oh, that's right. I didn't need to. Their deplorable performance during the game spoke volumes. So, yeah, surprise, surprise, they're rapists.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKUNR56fnTkmxB633U7aX0YzgaiomZIWPslsWdkgMxVBfGOjmOpP_tfd0_ER4JhFo8rQZ3MXyJFoZiPuMFv_J8zkn5YBrfSosz21n5VWzAVI-8gQ4IqH9yX353NlpRaLShzTziPRsp1zg/s1600/Blood-Games-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKUNR56fnTkmxB633U7aX0YzgaiomZIWPslsWdkgMxVBfGOjmOpP_tfd0_ER4JhFo8rQZ3MXyJFoZiPuMFv_J8zkn5YBrfSosz21n5VWzAVI-8gQ4IqH9yX353NlpRaLShzTziPRsp1zg/s400/Blood-Games-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Thankfully, Midnight, followed by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004669/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Laura Albert</span></a> show up to put a stop to the rape. Sadly, Midnight and the team's lone black player are killed during the post-rape attempt fracas. I know, they just killed off the cast's only person of colour and the only man on the planet who isn't rapist.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbH-J4iVm5H8iA6iTj8OJOhtcmr_fLH1t6rm5mZ8oIiyey4eFgvfkGup_r7AQXjmCrpeejfy2s66ScO6H7rX6lrxUx5UV1kBEVmHg8KQkSW-remcllg46Nq9UqHOI8W6f8SHgxvKA1tBQ/s1600/Blood-Games-17.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbH-J4iVm5H8iA6iTj8OJOhtcmr_fLH1t6rm5mZ8oIiyey4eFgvfkGup_r7AQXjmCrpeejfy2s66ScO6H7rX6lrxUx5UV1kBEVmHg8KQkSW-remcllg46Nq9UqHOI8W6f8SHgxvKA1tBQ/s400/Blood-Games-17.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(There must be other men on planet earth who aren't rapists?) There might be. But we don't see them over the course of this film. So, in my mind, the world is populated by women and hillbilly rapists.</div>
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This causes a bit of a problem. You see, the women are trying to escape. Exactly, escape where? If the world is made up of nothing but hillbilly rapists, where do you run to? This wasn't the film's biggest flaw, but it did render the Ballgirls plight as rather hopeless. Unless they can find some kind of man-free island or some kind man-less oasis, these chicks are screwed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjko3L9wQsP5LH-2oz0SgwL3PkCEjNqJnHLLDaRrfjWNktXqRgIKPWFWty3p3sycJIjTg74oxMtXBkMdPjYYAq5DxTbIyvYvKIDvZIH8uMYsf1IJG8z06960bnaQZNJ27j7XwbT89G-8-0/s1600/Blood-Games-21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjko3L9wQsP5LH-2oz0SgwL3PkCEjNqJnHLLDaRrfjWNktXqRgIKPWFWty3p3sycJIjTg74oxMtXBkMdPjYYAq5DxTbIyvYvKIDvZIH8uMYsf1IJG8z06960bnaQZNJ27j7XwbT89G-8-0/s400/Blood-Games-21.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Either way, the action soon shifts to the woods, where the men basically try to end of the lives of Laura Albert and the other actresses not named Laura Albert for the next hour or so. What's that? Who are the other actresses? I have no idea who these women are.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0WeCZHOWT5awnFg_wcNxTXx_6UIvPurFKwX394Pnzy2_-v9EFlQTzbsa75XiyAQa-IfC4bb0wwDBmyRiDIh8GnUV4mFG-Bw1KMNLrvtVgsCKnRE4tY8Nb1iPLoN-eybem2sOtsP3H84/s1600/Blood-Games-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0WeCZHOWT5awnFg_wcNxTXx_6UIvPurFKwX394Pnzy2_-v9EFlQTzbsa75XiyAQa-IfC4bb0wwDBmyRiDIh8GnUV4mFG-Bw1KMNLrvtVgsCKnRE4tY8Nb1iPLoN-eybem2sOtsP3H84/s400/Blood-Games-10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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One of them had amazing eyebrows and the one with short hair has a cute bum.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVPUdhW8uH3_d4RjEhrlgqTaGa78rFoBcMejfiieRud842aiKe6TlKo6WBQly0PwSnQ6GYrRGVPo_EwtGFHmPGOi8JXVBXqUY8wVVNmBixcJ_BC8-GO9BKUz_iNCjXgYTF1DtSt2qc6tU/s1600/Blood-Games-20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVPUdhW8uH3_d4RjEhrlgqTaGa78rFoBcMejfiieRud842aiKe6TlKo6WBQly0PwSnQ6GYrRGVPo_EwtGFHmPGOi8JXVBXqUY8wVVNmBixcJ_BC8-GO9BKUz_iNCjXgYTF1DtSt2qc6tU/s400/Blood-Games-20.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Personally, I thought it was a wise move to make the team's catcher mute. Well, she wasn't always mute. Traumatized by the rape attempt, the catcher doesn't say a word for the rest of the movie. And it's a good she doesn't, as she's a terrible actress. I can't remember what she says, but her line reading on the bus was god awful. When the writers or whoever heard it, they must have freaked out and re-wrote her part as a mute. I guess they could have just killed her off. But the catcher is integral to the plot. Yeah, she gives the pitcher the signs.... and Laura Albert is the pitcher.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgWe3iySjZTH5u1kHEYU-SCXiXcDs6Lq9IMFwyfqEcXoU3IxE6SfCD2hQKjkZ_ybRC2I146bjd84PX363dAaddRSi2UFVM_SN2Mgosy31ycetQ7tb9NLpqfiO3A-gApLhPencdACuByg/s1600/Blood-Games-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgWe3iySjZTH5u1kHEYU-SCXiXcDs6Lq9IMFwyfqEcXoU3IxE6SfCD2hQKjkZ_ybRC2I146bjd84PX363dAaddRSi2UFVM_SN2Mgosy31ycetQ7tb9NLpqfiO3A-gApLhPencdACuByg/s400/Blood-Games-19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Nevertheless, all the women, accept for Laura Albert, who's amazing, are not very good when it comes to acting 'n' stuff.</div>
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As for the men. My favourite, believe or not, was Vern. Played by character actor extraordinaire, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002668/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t14" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">George 'Buck' Flower</span></a>, Vern, while, sure, he's a scumbag, was the only one who had a bit of a goofy charm to him (no doubt a testament to Buck's talent as an actor). As far as the rest go, I couldn't wait for them to be slaughtered. Of course, the film is somewhat of a letdown in that regard, as their inevitable comeuppance isn't as satisfactory as it should be. That's right, I wanted more gore. I don't want to see these creeps merely shot to death, I want to see them eviscerated, their entrails dangling from tree branches, baking in the midday sun.</div>
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At any rate, it was fun to see Laura Albert as the star of a film a change. Too bad the vehicle for her brush with stardom had to be a movie that has way too much baseball in it and not enough scenes where rapists are butchered without pity.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ws6uTW4fBGU" width="419"></iframe><br /></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-78509562296210838522017-04-30T20:51:00.000-04:002020-01-26T18:58:34.987-05:00Slaughterhouse Rock (Dimitri Logothetis, 1988)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWWPA0ZmtkToJM0yfD_HUo-wzxXiz_M7CMRQrZ0T_z4zljcUowEjEZHvPrxZBjzpdSmSiEvys8oBcV1a-_NVdIzq0rVl_AN_BE1Ww7auhW8jNhyphenhyphenS1S5NVOzWQeIY-K24kUrpwRudzZM0/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWWPA0ZmtkToJM0yfD_HUo-wzxXiz_M7CMRQrZ0T_z4zljcUowEjEZHvPrxZBjzpdSmSiEvys8oBcV1a-_NVdIzq0rVl_AN_BE1Ww7auhW8jNhyphenhyphenS1S5NVOzWQeIY-K24kUrpwRudzZM0/s200/Slaughterhouse-Rock-1.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>
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Are you sitting down? (Do I have to?) No, I really think you should be sitting down to hear what I'm about to say. Okay, so, there's this horror movie from the late 1980s called "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096117/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Slaughterhouse Rock</span></a>." It stars <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toni_Basil" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Toni Basil</span></a> as the ghost of a dead rock star who is forever doomed to haunt Alcatraz. And are you ready for this? You don't get to see Toni Basil until at least the forty minute mark. Can you believe this shit? Yes, I realize there needs to be some build up before you unleash Toni Basil and her spectacular gams on an audience. But forty minutes?!? C'mon, man. This is ridiculous. No offense to <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0138192/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t5" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Hope Marie Carlton</span></a> (who helped me get through a number of those awful <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/search/label/Andy%20Sidaris" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Andy Sidaris</span></a> turds) and those kind of interchangeable brunette chicks, but there's no way they can compete with Toni when it comes to talent. She sings, she dances, she acts, she wears funny hats, she does it all. So, I'll ask again: What gives, movie I just watched? Why are you wasting mine and everyone else's time like this? I mean, you're clearly a movie that possesses zero originality (everything looks like it's been cobbled together from ideas stolen from better movies). Yet, you had an ace up your sleeve in the form of Toni Basil and, not to mention, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006205/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cr10" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Mark Mothersbaugh</span></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0142810/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cr9" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gerald V. Casale</span></a> from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devo" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Devo</span></a> doing all the music, and what did you do? You squandered them. Squandered the living fuck out of them.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAX3BgEAMOSt6qW71P0x1Xd-KgOJ6yTFokjcsp3p9O3jlErq7mZNAd9Y6T9h6z4C9tPdkUOLWotLJxRS6oRxSl_z_jTUzSpTUtZwtxOSjzllEGSGLtu1pLEPHL4FM_RVhiYboVfRl4b_Y/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAX3BgEAMOSt6qW71P0x1Xd-KgOJ6yTFokjcsp3p9O3jlErq7mZNAd9Y6T9h6z4C9tPdkUOLWotLJxRS6oRxSl_z_jTUzSpTUtZwtxOSjzllEGSGLtu1pLEPHL4FM_RVhiYboVfRl4b_Y/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL-BQDx6t9lCGtldeplgOInVQRqHpd9cm7-EzYKHXNfpXVoplPhdqb8DpOpQi9NniQlqYIBimqJnoPysokg3FXrMvUZ7um2Z3vKvJWqy0xAybMR93UdRGaAY_Shr50zNPLMmVHof6bO7k/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL-BQDx6t9lCGtldeplgOInVQRqHpd9cm7-EzYKHXNfpXVoplPhdqb8DpOpQi9NniQlqYIBimqJnoPysokg3FXrMvUZ7um2Z3vKvJWqy0xAybMR93UdRGaAY_Shr50zNPLMmVHof6bO7k/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Think about it. Toni Basil shows up on set wearing a leopard print jacket and zebra print pants, and what do you do? You.... you drop the ball, that's what you do. Seriously, we're talking leopard print and zebra print all within the same outfit.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOfW-bjCiOuJCgKUallQltO1sdlFe7RwlLaC0GRUp5M6gi7vtxix9TxVgfNrm6RDojFU8KWqva5oH1TgesbcO65J4Tp3bDfyL4PbaFX6I7034uEZPY6G_xFmhS1ul-uolkemGOlfpX2g/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOfW-bjCiOuJCgKUallQltO1sdlFe7RwlLaC0GRUp5M6gi7vtxix9TxVgfNrm6RDojFU8KWqva5oH1TgesbcO65J4Tp3bDfyL4PbaFX6I7034uEZPY6G_xFmhS1ul-uolkemGOlfpX2g/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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You know how many movies I've slogged through over the years waiting for someone to show up wearing an outfit that boasts leopard and zebra print elements? I don't know the exact number, but trust me, it's a lot. And when they finally do show up wearing the animal print combo I so crave, and it's being worn by none other than Toni Basil, I have to endure the frightfully lame <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaughterhouse_Rock" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Slaughterhouse Rock</span></a> in order to do so.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3wGA8P8pncfUEBeZBMFTmRrMFDnjF6au5EP7CtCheTQnfB9CpVMRMzTz8cNEX6oes9FnC7Sf0rKdvmnRpWkIx0dsN95mqm-CuinR9rr99U1GLoGEdY3T7GxcZh8pRssamue7C89ONVo/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3wGA8P8pncfUEBeZBMFTmRrMFDnjF6au5EP7CtCheTQnfB9CpVMRMzTz8cNEX6oes9FnC7Sf0rKdvmnRpWkIx0dsN95mqm-CuinR9rr99U1GLoGEdY3T7GxcZh8pRssamue7C89ONVo/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X01.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm telling you right now, life isn't fair. And there's no greater example of life's unfairness than the mental drudgery I had to undergo while I watched in horror as Toni Basil's wardrobe fiasco/masterpiece be neglected by a brain-sick cabal of no talent twaddle pushers. That's right, the people who made this film push twaddle. They peddle twaddle. In fact, they wallow in twaddle. How else can you explain such a high level of unabashed egregiousness?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MRjb-kw1FIG4wfFkei5-d-qrE1OanToMi8YZVojHqy9Yq8FKq1S4IJwj0lbFBUYD-0As2z4nkDdl7fIl6A-MO-Rzj2KdG9lr93b2QbXotdF8omrkABu8ucDC-AOsyYj-yuZQc6rIPKw/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MRjb-kw1FIG4wfFkei5-d-qrE1OanToMi8YZVojHqy9Yq8FKq1S4IJwj0lbFBUYD-0As2z4nkDdl7fIl6A-MO-Rzj2KdG9lr93b2QbXotdF8omrkABu8ucDC-AOsyYj-yuZQc6rIPKw/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Granted, we do get a couple of nice shots of Toni Basil's killer legs during a key scene. I think it's the one where Toni Basil's "Sammy Mitchell" does some kind of voodoo dance to resurrect the spirit from the body of the still living Alex Gardner (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0517768/?ref_=ttfc_fc_wr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nicholas Celozzi</span></a>), a teen with thick, dark Mediterranean hair. But the only reason we get a voodoo dance is because Toni took the director, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0517768/?ref_=ttfc_fc_dr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dimitri Logothetis</span></a>, aside and asked them if she could bust a few moves. Her logic being: If you're not going to try to inject this turkey with any life, I might as well give it a shot.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfT-9-CHzY-UZdfb6jVi4AfHkB_SkHqqGTi2TsZnhixpL53PEjYkYofKv8X037ssC-9-Bwwaqzxdx5lJvY8-ST8WI5vbbzixeCvRxKvSiFYObrHEH666LmUoHFhU9TyEZqVDTlyP4YcY/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfT-9-CHzY-UZdfb6jVi4AfHkB_SkHqqGTi2TsZnhixpL53PEjYkYofKv8X037ssC-9-Bwwaqzxdx5lJvY8-ST8WI5vbbzixeCvRxKvSiFYObrHEH666LmUoHFhU9TyEZqVDTlyP4YcY/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, I have no proof this scenario actually took place. But I decided early on that anytime something not lame occurs in this film, someone other than the people responsible for making it had to be behind it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zxIGaAsMfPwga1eYaxBR4uEMn8m9fLjPEZjBP77QFVMRnDMX9hUBzAOaW0OaLDU4Ees8l7SiVBnK9yy4s2XaPwAew9t0oe6RIeRIT5QSmyxmkwvh-eUWXox7TbkiWI4pneiv1Ic_hrQ/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zxIGaAsMfPwga1eYaxBR4uEMn8m9fLjPEZjBP77QFVMRnDMX9hUBzAOaW0OaLDU4Ees8l7SiVBnK9yy4s2XaPwAew9t0oe6RIeRIT5QSmyxmkwvh-eUWXox7TbkiWI4pneiv1Ic_hrQ/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X03.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Since the description of the plot on the internet movie database written by an anonymous user is pretty succinct, so, I think I'll use it. Why not?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaA7OvQ2ez8vKvX8qEEZESmCTpa2Ze-9iEyLYggamSjdO5HsxpzmLgOOqBtrT3vPAJCMGfFUY01DUl4r46cBY5etQ9DZpB__fiXFqkvVT0A7XBhCVpdg4lWS5GGdLurGeonZMfkllhOc0/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X06.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaA7OvQ2ez8vKvX8qEEZESmCTpa2Ze-9iEyLYggamSjdO5HsxpzmLgOOqBtrT3vPAJCMGfFUY01DUl4r46cBY5etQ9DZpB__fiXFqkvVT0A7XBhCVpdg4lWS5GGdLurGeonZMfkllhOc0/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X06.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDWuDbGso5CDf2miccidn2aZX6mjZ2fRTr3sxuVUDTfVM3qVeO-b9lVcAu0zsNZ192KeFuOnfLh_4LYiAp8_otMnCdgxgbMoZJ7QrWTCPYdST4qfu6FpKxe0Rj24mUInkPTUGxPlZSwa0/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDWuDbGso5CDf2miccidn2aZX6mjZ2fRTr3sxuVUDTfVM3qVeO-b9lVcAu0zsNZ192KeFuOnfLh_4LYiAp8_otMnCdgxgbMoZJ7QrWTCPYdST4qfu6FpKxe0Rj24mUInkPTUGxPlZSwa0/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm paraphrasing: A dark-haired teen and his friends (and his dark-haired brother) travel to Alcatraz prison (at night of course) after said dark-haired teen has disturbing dreams about the people who died there. Soon after they arrive, the dark-haired teen's dark-haired brother is possessed by an evil cannibal demon. The ghost of a female heavy metal singer (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0059844/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Toni Basil</span></a>) tries to help the dark-haired teen fight the monsters that are haunting his dreams and the island itself.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK06aG2L3d1yJN_5kffIiU-hQm8PK2ZLVlpnesJl9arsLZgBg-g_XQtnVOHSCRzrw43wcY9JP7Hf6hTreuquSQwDLVc3D-lDZTpCYMfl03gZaU0my6bmlChZQjMnkgf557abDo4SiS82I/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK06aG2L3d1yJN_5kffIiU-hQm8PK2ZLVlpnesJl9arsLZgBg-g_XQtnVOHSCRzrw43wcY9JP7Hf6hTreuquSQwDLVc3D-lDZTpCYMfl03gZaU0my6bmlChZQjMnkgf557abDo4SiS82I/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I think that makes sense. Well, it technically doesn't make sense. But it's pretty much the gist of the plot.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMGRQX7Q6mbLFJdiPZJJ7uBzex55LPUQCNswLcge93Jm8QnY2Nvxrm5lY98scxu7qF_QI14iylr3La5ua4B7tCLKytveqA84HGSzfEedadYX4ffQLPJ8wSJtgIfXXmWP0-_ugnTM0Nyc/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMGRQX7Q6mbLFJdiPZJJ7uBzex55LPUQCNswLcge93Jm8QnY2Nvxrm5lY98scxu7qF_QI14iylr3La5ua4B7tCLKytveqA84HGSzfEedadYX4ffQLPJ8wSJtgIfXXmWP0-_ugnTM0Nyc/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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One by one, the dark-haired teens friends are attacked by the demon version of the dark-haired teen's dark-haired brother. And after each friend is attacked, they come back as wisecracking ghosts with gnarly neck wounds. Which, as most people know, is a trope borrowed from <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082010/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">An American Werewolf in London</span></a>. And, like I said, earlier, every moment in this film is taken from a better, more entertaining movie.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizN402nEWguwQLFAU8SaKMU5bAy7C9OK39IU3L9AEIQDW8p9PrnEBEqGIZoeW8v6vXw7-DsN6c1J94ROK-LIOUJ-eL9x0xdUXD7J17ux5YArLZQZ8cGe9EQ-ZD4G3p6BUapnwrpb3lL7k/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizN402nEWguwQLFAU8SaKMU5bAy7C9OK39IU3L9AEIQDW8p9PrnEBEqGIZoeW8v6vXw7-DsN6c1J94ROK-LIOUJ-eL9x0xdUXD7J17ux5YArLZQZ8cGe9EQ-ZD4G3p6BUapnwrpb3lL7k/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Which sums up this movie perfectly. Sure, not every horror movie stars Toni Basil and is loaded with late <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZVF6rqzzDI" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">'80s era Devo songs</span></a>, but there are literally hundreds of horror movies that are better than this piece of crap.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0gkVqRAX3oacG1Hr_oxU4GO0cotUOmdLWt4KOfdExWKLy8gBuzXBeN3GR-vraIyoXS5uZhyphenhyphenxBmszRoiJ8LHCHqcv5vMoWeWleD6flWkQv1zD-UU7BS4ZOG69DSFDm1hV9g8_tZfffOBY/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0gkVqRAX3oacG1Hr_oxU4GO0cotUOmdLWt4KOfdExWKLy8gBuzXBeN3GR-vraIyoXS5uZhyphenhyphenxBmszRoiJ8LHCHqcv5vMoWeWleD6flWkQv1zD-UU7BS4ZOG69DSFDm1hV9g8_tZfffOBY/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRcjY0pHKKPB5dJG2zwd7HvpXHMP-YvVjCP4OG6HvhdAqeT4w3hF0O3iodAB4_ak7YCwmn570hwhknbP2ZQJ3eoWQFRbotSVpPGicrl6pB-_U-BdAiQ7ijHVAIhPo9FL7yOUkiaVIjto/s1600/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRcjY0pHKKPB5dJG2zwd7HvpXHMP-YvVjCP4OG6HvhdAqeT4w3hF0O3iodAB4_ak7YCwmn570hwhknbP2ZQJ3eoWQFRbotSVpPGicrl6pB-_U-BdAiQ7ijHVAIhPo9FL7yOUkiaVIjto/s400/Slaughterhouse-Rock-X12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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As for trigger warnings: There's an awful rape scene (it's so casual, ugh) / The dark-haired teen blames his weird dreams on his hormones (anytime hormones are mentioned I would feel uneasy) / Even though there are way too many men in this film... at least they all had plenty of hair on their heads.</div>
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/d5YMnfJI2d4" width="400"></iframe><br /></div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-48915296484872694012017-04-23T20:53:00.001-04:002017-04-23T20:53:47.289-04:00Kamikaze 1989 (Wolf Gremm, 1982)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VsCtLkS7ZXhbes_XncPXtjXIvvvOppHBLh3ZKSLdm0_YFo2G4xdaBgutzdtG54MTHFVDKOmIWJgluK9UPLf5xhYjeM2qCmd1jYEGPZ87_CV5xRhyphenhyphenWFthXSsKXQf5yWkj8fhoOA8-4O4/s1600/Kamikaze-1989a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VsCtLkS7ZXhbes_XncPXtjXIvvvOppHBLh3ZKSLdm0_YFo2G4xdaBgutzdtG54MTHFVDKOmIWJgluK9UPLf5xhYjeM2qCmd1jYEGPZ87_CV5xRhyphenhyphenWFthXSsKXQf5yWkj8fhoOA8-4O4/s200/Kamikaze-1989a.jpg" width="136" /></a></div>
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Damn, it's cold! Who knew the winters (hell, the springs, too) in Canada could be so chilly? Speaking of which, whose bright idea was it to continue removing my arm hair throughout the winter months? Brrrr. What's that? Yeah, dysphoria is a real thing and it doesn't simply go away once it starts getting colder. I know, I could just put on a sweater... Wait a minute, if I had a leopard print blazer like the one Rainer Werner Fassbinder sports as Polizeileutnant Jansen in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084191/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kamikaze 1989</span></a>, that would solve all my problems. What I mean is, if I owned a leopard print blazer, I could express myself through fashion and remain warm at the same time. Win-win. Anyway, this West German film, based on the book, Murder on the Thirty-first Floor by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0883908/?ref_=ttfc_fc_wr3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Per Wahlöö</span></a>, about a 50-something detective working in a grim yet stylish totalitarian state is a... Huh? You're telling me <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001202/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Rainer Werner Fassbinder</span></a> isn't 50-something. He was actually 37 when he shot this? Really? Wow, kudos to the makeup department for making Fassbinder look so much older than he really is. You say he's <i>not</i> wearing makeup? Hmm. Well, let that be a lesson for all you kids out there. If you continue to smoke and drink booze to excess, you'll end up looking like Rainer Werner Fassbinder does in this movie. Don't get me wrong, the movie is a visual/audio feast to behold, it's just that Fassbinder doesn't look so good. It's true, he would die soon after filming this <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0340170/?ref_=ttfc_fc_wr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Wolf Gremm</span></a>-directed movie. But still. It's a stark reminder to take better care of yourself.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzk4kGLPgcBJS8L5MjvSSw7OFRjrVO92zERR850DvQYXlLPqxQKIpG_UF8EVTno03MNWolcu73ZcRbTNf0RHliMmpKcGdg-17A1j2uRquh5poP1ZKdwSgsJdWdj9L1wP49qK3IzhNSWyA/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-25.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzk4kGLPgcBJS8L5MjvSSw7OFRjrVO92zERR850DvQYXlLPqxQKIpG_UF8EVTno03MNWolcu73ZcRbTNf0RHliMmpKcGdg-17A1j2uRquh5poP1ZKdwSgsJdWdj9L1wP49qK3IzhNSWyA/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-25.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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When Polizeileutnant Jansen tells Anton (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0442316/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Günther Kaufmann</span></a>), a fellow detective, to: "Refrain from unnecessary remarks" for the very first time during the first of their many conversations, I thought: Huh, that's a nicest way I've ever heard to tell someone to shut the fuck up. When he instructs others to "Refrain from unnecessary comments" and "Refrain from unnecessary questions," I thought: I love this guy. Sure, his scraggly beard was mildly triggering. But as far as being an onscreen detective goes, I dig Jansen's style.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqAm1ngW4i-HEEipj2dqgkycCLSR8o_UpkR0jz7AI-EwfK-0AmJZAATECMYmE8cRHDnxOIWeka3tZsF3-idx2O7AuvpfYfaTrfJTv9lbxkLr0lJjaW9ZKOL6Londr4K_4Tt88xTArOvRw/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqAm1ngW4i-HEEipj2dqgkycCLSR8o_UpkR0jz7AI-EwfK-0AmJZAATECMYmE8cRHDnxOIWeka3tZsF3-idx2O7AuvpfYfaTrfJTv9lbxkLr0lJjaW9ZKOL6Londr4K_4Tt88xTArOvRw/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In his defense, he does make a, if feeble, attempt to trim his scraggly beard at one point.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3UDPyyZQzMkcW0CnZje3ZhQ1ZWiDBxeqTBLk0LZJp1Z8BtADvrcShjlyULqqn4vNiuAksJz-ZC-m3oVjvSI5wvEc1gDMyy7-Zp1ZgzhP_y_Ryu-XwhueiJ4v0Ok5EU_avt3RZedYiftk/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3UDPyyZQzMkcW0CnZje3ZhQ1ZWiDBxeqTBLk0LZJp1Z8BtADvrcShjlyULqqn4vNiuAksJz-ZC-m3oVjvSI5wvEc1gDMyy7-Zp1ZgzhP_y_Ryu-XwhueiJ4v0Ok5EU_avt3RZedYiftk/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OkJ_lYQhVP3TIGUAZ1XyBnteVQMn2ivkTJsaIbFuDYbwmW1t3a4nbZ2JP_91F-CUvsp4rJLKd8VJVOEbNUX9df6laqxbKO_-Ydr3v1ALSSu_Ctp2oGV0vWnUaPzhwJPm5A0MA64Ckow/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OkJ_lYQhVP3TIGUAZ1XyBnteVQMn2ivkTJsaIbFuDYbwmW1t3a4nbZ2JP_91F-CUvsp4rJLKd8VJVOEbNUX9df6laqxbKO_-Ydr3v1ALSSu_Ctp2oGV0vWnUaPzhwJPm5A0MA64Ckow/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-03.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6b1Gd4kczwANlAevMqKf7z-4KQp5GcggGg6iWLCiTQPDy40-y-ykuG4bT1F9qEOmAk-LAa0YhI_0inBx51DfXiW6qq6xDIb2TBycFulvgVvz9u7zdnp3YqkHbkly8YTHXcw8KBg4ikM/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6b1Gd4kczwANlAevMqKf7z-4KQp5GcggGg6iWLCiTQPDy40-y-ykuG4bT1F9qEOmAk-LAa0YhI_0inBx51DfXiW6qq6xDIb2TBycFulvgVvz9u7zdnp3YqkHbkly8YTHXcw8KBg4ikM/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Nevertheless, telling people to refrain from using extraneous phrases while saying words out loud while wearing a leopard print jacket and leopard print trousers is, you have to admit, pretty bad-ass.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS6grIl6N8OXimrAGP1dleuWCcaGTTsIntMifWTsGzZD-SKDufVL2HvKnqZjFwoA8_QIocnJXxDxjMrHgUccCr-B_h0yCvO5nw86t2-mgQNLgBr00J6p5L_6mDC2DqXWCaudCqG7ra4SU/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS6grIl6N8OXimrAGP1dleuWCcaGTTsIntMifWTsGzZD-SKDufVL2HvKnqZjFwoA8_QIocnJXxDxjMrHgUccCr-B_h0yCvO5nw86t2-mgQNLgBr00J6p5L_6mDC2DqXWCaudCqG7ra4SU/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-01.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Did I mention that the handle of his snub-nosed revolver is leopard print as well? Yeah, well, it totally is.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXZW_-K4b_Rxh6zw8rgNZDpF0hkbRBKahytSQnqXHOvqixEvBXoYqJQ-SWKFeMS5kHJlwE3rtsipiP_Sgpafof77EGDqXHooe2EqizG6RCYg5rWjjl_qPxufSvVKJvaL0EY0vD87CfXLE/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXZW_-K4b_Rxh6zw8rgNZDpF0hkbRBKahytSQnqXHOvqixEvBXoYqJQ-SWKFeMS5kHJlwE3rtsipiP_Sgpafof77EGDqXHooe2EqizG6RCYg5rWjjl_qPxufSvVKJvaL0EY0vD87CfXLE/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmuUav7gudIKIuimaDflIcBHI20q75eXWq_alPQbAgkXsimQwWJ_BwhaFNultBoQih_dmtuRTF7NWFvvRwW1MDYV1kJbIFTGJZVqg_AT7gC1tBfZYO88ze1Z1-4Ivul-jrZcu3iH6sYHw/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmuUav7gudIKIuimaDflIcBHI20q75eXWq_alPQbAgkXsimQwWJ_BwhaFNultBoQih_dmtuRTF7NWFvvRwW1MDYV1kJbIFTGJZVqg_AT7gC1tBfZYO88ze1Z1-4Ivul-jrZcu3iH6sYHw/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It should be noted though that Jansen's kooky blazer game isn't limited to the gruff detective. No, it would seem that the entire country of Germany, which has apparently unified in 1989, has gone kooky blazer mad.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qKgrr0xihV4G8meHNPYr47G2HKrGl8XcpRsM-fIvthgNlggmhRVWQPT70amndHhAPqqyzBvSCAPo2tKYyWUtyJ7Tw17q157irHmQ4zJL-PA0daRcXQwiJSC0dxzlZT9F9vrIPB-IPfo/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3qKgrr0xihV4G8meHNPYr47G2HKrGl8XcpRsM-fIvthgNlggmhRVWQPT70amndHhAPqqyzBvSCAPo2tKYyWUtyJ7Tw17q157irHmQ4zJL-PA0daRcXQwiJSC0dxzlZT9F9vrIPB-IPfo/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-13.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgywzZzbAa8XJLbuP-332c2bjYC4hF2EZS-_1b4OrnPJitgF3YbN4MBmOPrn9vutrcNPEQAC6y43ZzzReOqhPv12RZjrI_8MxVwArGk5AoqoFsG9N7cBodNv4bUEa3aj15OwoyKjGNXnM8/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-89.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgywzZzbAa8XJLbuP-332c2bjYC4hF2EZS-_1b4OrnPJitgF3YbN4MBmOPrn9vutrcNPEQAC6y43ZzzReOqhPv12RZjrI_8MxVwArGk5AoqoFsG9N7cBodNv4bUEa3aj15OwoyKjGNXnM8/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-89.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In fact, I don't think I spotted a single drab, ho-hum or bland blazer during the entire film's running time.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHQHHkXKhyphenhyphenRx2G_U9U-GCtZRagWdYVorZWZsrxOtiJYilMiZ7YFWmfGBCyMxzb1UDJLWHUkZmxId957wV9hTkc1rWkfxdotGkf6EQyq7y2cq9KrkhK8OaS0rR6e-e0y6PaUz6TMTk4DPE/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHQHHkXKhyphenhyphenRx2G_U9U-GCtZRagWdYVorZWZsrxOtiJYilMiZ7YFWmfGBCyMxzb1UDJLWHUkZmxId957wV9hTkc1rWkfxdotGkf6EQyq7y2cq9KrkhK8OaS0rR6e-e0y6PaUz6TMTk4DPE/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqKpIv8aS9PCvrPQC3bj_eMnq06MtV5kyxS87lTX4glPuEFOnWMossBO4SqlpomkCvsMw8ZEQfwoVr3ok2Bpuf2rtddCnPTjzEOezmwNq5jrstktYwpaeRE3IsB5EFtGdxbSr6pMu1bvw/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqKpIv8aS9PCvrPQC3bj_eMnq06MtV5kyxS87lTX4glPuEFOnWMossBO4SqlpomkCvsMw8ZEQfwoVr3ok2Bpuf2rtddCnPTjzEOezmwNq5jrstktYwpaeRE3IsB5EFtGdxbSr6pMu1bvw/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the film's wardrobe department didn't plunder the wardrobe of <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/apple-menahem-golan-1980.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Apple</span></a>, as a lot of the outfits worn throughout <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084191/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kamikaze '89</span></a> had a distinct disco science fiction vibe/stench about them. And, as you know, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/apple-menahem-golan-1980.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Apple</span></a> was shot in West Germany, well, West Berlin. Which makes my theory even more plausible.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrvJtbT6O9xTUnyl8oJkgNOdA5Xkfu5iix8X46IXVN1McxQmGzlnCZqRB7O2hzdcO2YPtEmyNGz7PFSBZPmqB7ZR-ADv7OufRvlji0Hoya32J6EhxNa4yHYdQWAuem7qznaQxpX8dyoQ/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrvJtbT6O9xTUnyl8oJkgNOdA5Xkfu5iix8X46IXVN1McxQmGzlnCZqRB7O2hzdcO2YPtEmyNGz7PFSBZPmqB7ZR-ADv7OufRvlji0Hoya32J6EhxNa4yHYdQWAuem7qznaQxpX8dyoQ/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Actually, if I had to compare <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamikaze_1989" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kamikaze '89</span></a> to just two movies, I would have to say, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/apple-menahem-golan-1980.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Apple</span></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083658/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blade Runner</span></a> are the two that spring to mind immediately. Yes, there's some <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">A Clockwork Orange</span></a> sprinkled here and there as well. But the tone and look are purely <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.com/2008/08/apple-menahem-golan-1980.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">The Apple</span></a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_Runner" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Blade Runner</span></a>. Which, of course, is a good thing.</div>
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A hard-boiled detective story set in a garish cyberpunk universe, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamikaze_1989" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kamikaze '89</span></a> will have retro futurism enthusiasts scrambling to suck on their inhalers. Granted, the story itself is a tad convoluted. In other words: Refrain from unnecessary complexities.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicH5u5yox9r4kfxg4MBsu1sws_dtf_ynmznA-PoLTxjGHrpfG6Pg66HBTkePBpKsA5SpK-tjXcdrS-_Y3y2uCJHtGPTpPO-BT-dgTaFrWGlacQEQqURTii6RSHxiFTKFUKoMEAe5P3m0I/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicH5u5yox9r4kfxg4MBsu1sws_dtf_ynmznA-PoLTxjGHrpfG6Pg66HBTkePBpKsA5SpK-tjXcdrS-_Y3y2uCJHtGPTpPO-BT-dgTaFrWGlacQEQqURTii6RSHxiFTKFUKoMEAe5P3m0I/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Let's see, the plot involves a plot to blow up the head quarters that belong to a ruthless tyrannical entity known simply as "The Combine." Brought in to help solve this mystery is Polizeileutnant Jansen, a cop who is considered to be the best in the business. Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but if there's anyone who can penetrate the shadowy confines of The Combine, it's Jansen.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjigCZkTVP_yjUICGGcZAKTye6IlxBHPIkEs6gEPsuM-YwGrcdzUEF0OwSYuWNYW9ek-GSoJ83ml7zRjyKy-nlalQLVFF7_1M5q1fXUTvMyrT23Fz2cV3PBUfki8MCfL3TvUj71tKYUJN4/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjigCZkTVP_yjUICGGcZAKTye6IlxBHPIkEs6gEPsuM-YwGrcdzUEF0OwSYuWNYW9ek-GSoJ83ml7zRjyKy-nlalQLVFF7_1M5q1fXUTvMyrT23Fz2cV3PBUfki8MCfL3TvUj71tKYUJN4/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Of course, the further he penetrates these confines, the more confusing things become. While the confusion that inevitably comes might be a turn off, the film is never not interesting to look at. Nor is it never not interesting to listen to, as the soundtrack by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D_sJHUd3Co&t=1502s" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Edgar Froese</span></a> is a synth-lovers dream.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr25QoHPZI9csUoGmUgBz0JMvHBGo1zBWhd3iazg3DAlPLGpgSnGsuDxuFnlTLwzs1Vbif6c3xecBUGwGjSiz8BBQJVZ-Wu_luJVW4G4HNgI6L0j5YMPY34ZW9WjeziBz-JNYtjXJ73dI/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr25QoHPZI9csUoGmUgBz0JMvHBGo1zBWhd3iazg3DAlPLGpgSnGsuDxuFnlTLwzs1Vbif6c3xecBUGwGjSiz8BBQJVZ-Wu_luJVW4G4HNgI6L0j5YMPY34ZW9WjeziBz-JNYtjXJ73dI/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Along with top-notch production values, a fascinating lead performance by Fassbinder... Wait... Fascinating? Fassbinder? That was totally not on purpose. Ugh. Where was I? Oh, yeah. The film looks and sounds amazing. Highly recommended.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvTa2q13FY7-22_V5wy53uEllr-hRyNPhxw2oSAggzNPqRpjOoh6hffudrJ6DETs6vCfAEx9vKnLv9yoqxhsVYmOajSHvnuYQxbbce-L5OwAr55GW_ZQatoUHHP5TcRI8ZBxbSzLG1CAQ/s1600/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvTa2q13FY7-22_V5wy53uEllr-hRyNPhxw2oSAggzNPqRpjOoh6hffudrJ6DETs6vCfAEx9vKnLv9yoqxhsVYmOajSHvnuYQxbbce-L5OwAr55GW_ZQatoUHHP5TcRI8ZBxbSzLG1CAQ/s400/Kamikaze-1989-Remarks-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(What about those gender non-specific assassins?) Yes. Thanks for reminding me. Yeah, these assassins try to rub out our unhealthy-looking hero at one point and they do so while wearing ski-masks and stockings.</div>
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Well, one is wearing black fully-fashioned stockings, and the other is wearing what looks like black fishnet pantyhose. I can't believe I almost forgot to mention that scene. I'd go as far as to say it alone makes this film worth watching. But like I said in the above paragraphs, there's so much to savor in this film.</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-60828361964829608032017-04-16T20:47:00.001-04:002017-04-16T20:47:28.195-04:00Domino (Ivana Massetti, 1988)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYif6FhTEppLznL4hw0dV0qimFXK3PmHASzoYcnQc58Zy62GqsqDld7vpqhiT4zfcGYD34Hn06LsbE-lzdioqe_vRwrc7qk8aingUdgIX9Wyf4xYAUfdHRI7kqNflMw11z4AMPBEufkek/s1600/Domino-Poster-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYif6FhTEppLznL4hw0dV0qimFXK3PmHASzoYcnQc58Zy62GqsqDld7vpqhiT4zfcGYD34Hn06LsbE-lzdioqe_vRwrc7qk8aingUdgIX9Wyf4xYAUfdHRI7kqNflMw11z4AMPBEufkek/s200/Domino-Poster-1.jpg" width="126" /></a>I'm no math whizz, but I'd say 99% of the movies I watch are devoid of anything of value. What I mean is, they contain things I'm not interested. Of course, if the people who make these movies had the slightest interest in the things I'm interested in, I wouldn't have to start every other review in this manner. But this is the universe we live in. One where the majority of films released on any given day are severely lacking in the appealing to me department. However, it's not all bad. In fact, there's this movie I might review one day that actually features a ton of stuff I'm into. You know what? Screw one day, I'm reviewing this film right this minute. It's called <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097224/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Domino</span></a> and... OH MY GOD, it's so fucking... appealing. Seriously, I just sat there in awe of the sheer amount of Euro-approved stylishness being shoved in my face at any given moment... it was glorious. Synths, black PVC skirts, gloves in almost every scene, wigs, neon, compact discs, indoor wind chimes, mannequins, phone sex, white lace body stockings, delivery boys who accept smiles from leggy dames in lieu of money, and... well, I could keep listing shit for hours. Granted, the plot is kinda stupid and some of acting is a tad on the suspect side, but.... then again, who cares about non-stupid plots and quality acting in a movie where <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000557/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Brigitte Nielsen</span></a> talks to her jewel-adorned pet turtle? That's right, Brigitte Nielsen has deep, meaningful conversations with a bejeweled turtle.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCp2gEVXKVxlt7EBXLTk6MDZZ6o9YkKgMdqeHDhSphsO5F14VnZY0UC6gL0nllBVKM9weynblaYX4Y6fYI0blUK0pSB2M2Zx5L2dAEWO8y3Y_uDQ6agJaJymcWryN6bgraksy8u8nkbSs/s1600/Domino-Mannequin-Phone-Assist-16.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCp2gEVXKVxlt7EBXLTk6MDZZ6o9YkKgMdqeHDhSphsO5F14VnZY0UC6gL0nllBVKM9weynblaYX4Y6fYI0blUK0pSB2M2Zx5L2dAEWO8y3Y_uDQ6agJaJymcWryN6bgraksy8u8nkbSs/s400/Domino-Mannequin-Phone-Assist-16.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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And she has a live-in mannequin. Which she also talks to. Let me put it this way: Imagine if <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Sayadian" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Stephen Sayadian</span></a> had directed <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/06/obsession-taste-for-fear-piccio.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Obsession: A Taste for Fear</span></a>. Well, if he had, it would look something like this. I know, that's sounds pretty awesome. Any film that can invoke the name Stephen Sayadian, a.k.a. Rinse Dream, has to be doing something right.</div>
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Even though I was down with director <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0557273/?ref_=ttfc_fc_dr1" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ivana Massetti</span></a>'s Rinse Dream-esque aesthetic right from the get-go. The moment I heard the sci-fi-ish swooshing noise the door to Brigitte Nielsen's apartment makes when it opens and closes was the exact moment I declared this film to be a straight-up masterpiece.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVmUl-dka-nWiShX-XJfMMnc8FKpefFQ6ZvJXxqtxHxe0uFasaWXEIwl_XJxLwVmGAitQIcrI-qq5uFkj0gUHicQHzezPixBgCSYbNsadzQKEOCCMd6cdujV7nuzRS-EzmnQgr29_ihag/s1600/Domino-Heart-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVmUl-dka-nWiShX-XJfMMnc8FKpefFQ6ZvJXxqtxHxe0uFasaWXEIwl_XJxLwVmGAitQIcrI-qq5uFkj0gUHicQHzezPixBgCSYbNsadzQKEOCCMd6cdujV7nuzRS-EzmnQgr29_ihag/s400/Domino-Heart-2.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Again, and I can't stress this enough, the film is chock-full of nonsensical gobbledygook. Yeah, the movie I'm currently praising is a total mess when it comes to the basic tenets of cinematic storytelling. And the acting is atrocious in places. But holy crap, does it look good.</div>
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It also helped that the film doesn't seem to take place in any realm I'm familiar with. And if anyone has read any of my other reviews, you'll know I'm a big fan of films that seem to take place within there own universe. Sure, the words they utter and the objects they manipulate are recognizable, but there's just something off about this world.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLEU64vmtnvd8OFpJTH17KZqh567rS58vMV12nlMRhTa3Siu3Fjx9Mdk_opdJSPHr4YmdAF0Psk6rrccJbS4bcRQ0lCbdEw8JU5yD66OgDCBT3S2OtRetgvhyphenhyphenE_7rRsPIdg2DIc8L485s/s1600/Domino-Shiny-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLEU64vmtnvd8OFpJTH17KZqh567rS58vMV12nlMRhTa3Siu3Fjx9Mdk_opdJSPHr4YmdAF0Psk6rrccJbS4bcRQ0lCbdEw8JU5yD66OgDCBT3S2OtRetgvhyphenhyphenE_7rRsPIdg2DIc8L485s/s400/Domino-Shiny-2.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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And from where I was sitting, Brigitte Nielsen's Domino seems to be at the centre of this world/universe. Meaning, the world seems to revolve around her. And why wouldn't it? She has a killer wardrobe, a seemingly endless cadre of suitors, a swanky apartment (did I mention that the doors make a sci-fi-ish swooshing noise when opened and closed?), and she owns a plethora of wigs.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS4Z3vrlIzdyTykemlpxmgOkg5XEGLu_m4v3YNMnzXwoitMhCmh47Xuwj0z0RugWixq7AL8s0WUrIeMlWg403wDg42J3TQq67N3fIMVt4PtcE0KvxoedJ37n4Lhuj-Sqd2rBsOa7ZNfzE/s1600/Domino-Zebra-Print-Lounging-19.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS4Z3vrlIzdyTykemlpxmgOkg5XEGLu_m4v3YNMnzXwoitMhCmh47Xuwj0z0RugWixq7AL8s0WUrIeMlWg403wDg42J3TQq67N3fIMVt4PtcE0KvxoedJ37n4Lhuj-Sqd2rBsOa7ZNfzE/s400/Domino-Zebra-Print-Lounging-19.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Desperate to get funding to make a video about Billie Holiday, an artist named Domino is harassed by a mysterious stranger who insists on calling her on her cordless telephone. She's also being spied on by someone who lives in the building across the street.</div>
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Despite the fact that she seems content to be alone with her live-in mannequin (and her bejeweled pet turtle), Domino must contend with multiple violations of her privacy.</div>
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And, yeah, that kind of sums up the plot. Like I said, she has many suitors (all douchebags from I what I could see).</div>
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Oh, and from I could gather, it would seem that poor air quality is causing Domino's arm to itch. I think this was the film's subtle way of reminding the audience that things in this world are not as rosy as they seem. And, if you listen closely, every time Brigitte is outside, you can hear helicopters flying overhead. I took this to mean that Domino is living in a surveillance state.</div>
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While it might not come right out and say it, anyone with a half a brain can figure out on their own that this film is about isolation. Putting a number of different barriers between her and the outside world, Domino is desperate to find love, yet she craves the comfort that only a solitary existence can bring.</div>
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When it becomes increasingly clear that the people harassing her might not be real, Domino begins to lose her grip on reality.</div>
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Personally, I don't know why Domino didn't pursue a relationship with <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0314250/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t8" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Geretta Geretta</span></a>'s Gabriele, a self-proclaimed whore who works at a strip-club called <i>Eye</i>. I guess Domino found Gabriele's lifestyle too overwhelming; in a classic scene, Domino ceases to masturbate to Gabrielle's striptease show and runs from the booth (complete with a toilet roll for easy clean-up) in a stylish huff.</div>
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Which, should go without saying, as everything Domino does is stylish.</div>
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Frankly, I have no idea how I managed to make through this film in one piece. As it seems to go out of its way to be cartoonishly chic. At times I thought I was watching a parody of the 1980s by some hipster comedy troupe who possess only half-remembered fragments of what the 1980s were really like. But I wasn't. No, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097224/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Domino</span></a> is a real movie, made during the 1980s. Cherish the movie and treat it with the respect it deserves. Of course, many of you will still mock and deride it using whatever passes for sarcasm nowadays. But you can't deny that it earns its place in the pantheon of mildly ill-conceived movies that end up being more amazing than anyone involved in its creation could possibly comprehend.</div>
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In fact, I would place <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domino_(1988_film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Domino</span></a> alongside the likes of <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2014/06/liquid-dreams-mark-s-manos-1991.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Liquid Dreams</span></a>, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2014/07/shredder-orpheus-robert-mcginley-1990.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Shredder Orpheus</span></a>, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2013/01/skinner-ivan-nagy-1993.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Skinner</span></a>, the aforementioned <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2015/06/obsession-taste-for-fear-piccio.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Obsession: A Taste of Fear</span></a> (this and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097224/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Domino</span></a> would make a sweet ass double-bill), and, of course, the granddaddy of them all, <a href="http://houseofselfindulgence.blogspot.ca/2008/08/dr-caligari-stephen-sayadian-1989.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dr. Caligari</span></a>.</div>
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Oh, and you'll notice I didn't once complain about Brigitte Nielsen's breast implants. Well, that's because I don't do that anymore. If a woman wants breast implants, who am I to deny her the right to do so? After all, it's her body, not mine. I am, however, against breast implants, or any other cosmetic surgery for that matter, if the woman is forced to do so by someone other than herself.</div>
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Special thanks to <a href="http://silkstalkingsstills.tumblr.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Silk Stalkings Stills</span></a> for recommending this movie.</div>
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Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9109073679101688906.post-60372906421662840742017-04-09T20:53:00.001-04:002017-04-09T20:53:38.554-04:00Boardinghouse (John Wintergate, 1982)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-blNhz6cBCZSZWvosmZOgg3ju45DOdMhECM0q-YX6rIpmEQoW7GtUOmvJpLONXHkWr9BZhK2DFJWeg3YhGASt_S-ismnMMroiy4UcF5SzLgUx452u2c8kw1xvkHOiGGen8HHX1_68i0/s1600/Boardinghouse-Poster-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-blNhz6cBCZSZWvosmZOgg3ju45DOdMhECM0q-YX6rIpmEQoW7GtUOmvJpLONXHkWr9BZhK2DFJWeg3YhGASt_S-ismnMMroiy4UcF5SzLgUx452u2c8kw1xvkHOiGGen8HHX1_68i0/s200/Boardinghouse-Poster-1.jpg" width="106" /></a>At first I was comfortably prepared to declare that the three actresses who appear in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083670/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a> are wearing the same pair silky smooth black satin disco pants. But as of right this minute, I'm not so sure. Why? It's simple, really. Unless director/star <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935870/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">John Wintergate</span></a> is a master when it comes to employing camera tricks, I doubt they would be able to make it appear as if two women were wearing the same pair of silky smooth black satin disco pants in the same scene (I doubt he even knows how to turn on a camera). No, what I think happened was, each of the three actresses who appear in silky smooth black satin disco pants decided to wear their own silky smooth black satin disco pants to the set, and no one batted an eye over the fact this flagrant display of trouser-based uniformity might cause a certain someone to lose an uncertain amount of shit some thirty-plus years later. What I think I'm trying to say is this: I want a pair of silky smooth black satin disco pants. Granted, I'm currently working on attaining the curves necessary to wear such a garment. But mark my words, my soon to be shapely butt will be housed in a pair of silky smooth black satin disco pants in the not-so distant future. Oh, you better believe it. (Um, hello? I'm sorry to keep asking this... But what on Earth are you babbling about?) Um, I'm clearly talking about silky smooth black... (Yeah, I got that. But why are you talking about them in a review for a shot on video horror classic?) Um, it's what I do. I watch a movie. Then after it's over, I type words pertaining to said movie. Duh.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxnOPGLniBHPPheFuNhzbdqsAExXe-kS2FoKdn2DAgj5MuY9EQLhc2HiIOw-gTlbgZYl_ef3zhCsiYg_o27S7UBPFmMGnz2s8mhAf8CE488xlNw5I8UEvD-upHEzulG3h2avAxat51AY/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxnOPGLniBHPPheFuNhzbdqsAExXe-kS2FoKdn2DAgj5MuY9EQLhc2HiIOw-gTlbgZYl_ef3zhCsiYg_o27S7UBPFmMGnz2s8mhAf8CE488xlNw5I8UEvD-upHEzulG3h2avAxat51AY/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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And sometimes, if I'm feeling extra saucy, I like to describe the position the movie caused me sit as I watched said movie. And <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boardinghouse_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a> had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Though, to be honest, the reason I was sitting on the edge of my seat had nothing to do with the film's overall intensity, it was mostly upholstery-related. You see, the chair I was sitting on was poorly upholstered. Unable to provide me and my not yet shapely butt with the support I/it needed, I started to favour the outskirts (or the edge, if you will) of the tumbledown piece of furniture. Thus, creating the illusion that the film was scaring some but not all of the bejesus out of me.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSjq7eYKssK2MPWfE3ZQBn4ToRfADHeDA6sy7V4lc1UXolNvETf7elrzkQbxUa28X932Prm2-M4s2Ewa1jWs4WVQj-ywghfiBi36EFO0H-O0VuHJKbkLYo1D_uSVd8xPyBd9SnwkpI43g/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-03.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSjq7eYKssK2MPWfE3ZQBn4ToRfADHeDA6sy7V4lc1UXolNvETf7elrzkQbxUa28X932Prm2-M4s2Ewa1jWs4WVQj-ywghfiBi36EFO0H-O0VuHJKbkLYo1D_uSVd8xPyBd9SnwkpI43g/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-03.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH-u91zU7TiiLUmrAFCLtw8hXLFTtifBsRwocaZDBV-bMq-1bsK_G3ZPIbmx-pFNeQpHPNZ_Vd0FJPg-57zfJhII7Ae6sPbNhXeDSWdhqwU2Zh6nhr0iDsf7KxL4BgWO0gmolpeL4Uow/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH-u91zU7TiiLUmrAFCLtw8hXLFTtifBsRwocaZDBV-bMq-1bsK_G3ZPIbmx-pFNeQpHPNZ_Vd0FJPg-57zfJhII7Ae6sPbNhXeDSWdhqwU2Zh6nhr0iDsf7KxL4BgWO0gmolpeL4Uow/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-04.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In reality, the film, which, like I said, was shot on video, mostly confused and bewildered me. However, I'm not one to let confusion, or even bewilderment for that matter, ruin what is essentially an on the cusp of being watchable hot chicks in a haunted house picture.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE06A6ATMxQaw_Pwet4I-qQDVXffGJ5598zWIDZ26ZNVbdP-QwOKQHN16cQgtd9KKqJ3ZI7CNFub65tPRkG8-D5ii5S3dK5sJQq-QRN_XFTRStDdIt81BBJng_FTuTeJKGozQHUIGRghs/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE06A6ATMxQaw_Pwet4I-qQDVXffGJ5598zWIDZ26ZNVbdP-QwOKQHN16cQgtd9KKqJ3ZI7CNFub65tPRkG8-D5ii5S3dK5sJQq-QRN_XFTRStDdIt81BBJng_FTuTeJKGozQHUIGRghs/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-01.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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If you're like me, and you have a soft spot for films that feature attractive women doing asinine nonsense pool-side in the early 1980s, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boardinghouse_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a> will deliver in that regard.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyqry4cz_rtDuNV15BDqh_m3Er4dZcbVjLURQGVLl88ras1XK0LsxpfeBkSDAbM3XzHcIb3HMSzyF6jH81YkXggSk13yrFrxQeM2T-Zio7UiIhDGIOjZmE4bBevkJD0nvUPOVYOscTm3w/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyqry4cz_rtDuNV15BDqh_m3Er4dZcbVjLURQGVLl88ras1XK0LsxpfeBkSDAbM3XzHcIb3HMSzyF6jH81YkXggSk13yrFrxQeM2T-Zio7UiIhDGIOjZmE4bBevkJD0nvUPOVYOscTm3w/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-08.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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While most viewers will look at the seemingly-unending gaggle of semi-elegant ladies who end up at the boardinghouse at the centre of this cinematic mind-scrambler, and think to themselves: I would love to engage in state-sanctioned sexual intercourse with one or more of these women. I, on the other hand, simply want to possess their physical characteristics.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1w_RucG3-ZC2oDaVeJH_OnlfjBQdM7NSYtR9W5Wo2en6S22wRlQ4axWabEwSQu4BTekkibGZ8d_O5vasaIc3ysJWAjKI_VPtuCeDaXKVFFMxIptupyCaW6LLmyJ3DJeYsM_Yx6HI3rzs/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-20.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1w_RucG3-ZC2oDaVeJH_OnlfjBQdM7NSYtR9W5Wo2en6S22wRlQ4axWabEwSQu4BTekkibGZ8d_O5vasaIc3ysJWAjKI_VPtuCeDaXKVFFMxIptupyCaW6LLmyJ3DJeYsM_Yx6HI3rzs/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-20.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ9FODH9jNig46TnFKZxBC643DFDxLMtZjZ5pcwEMQ7oBYiwxx02s-2RadVfN3Io85yrcUZyxh3FIhPfF2CBPE9tyVuDXzVfrLn2Q2e1-pR5qqTvWJHaw7pBWm8gjoryQABT4jjslwRMM/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ9FODH9jNig46TnFKZxBC643DFDxLMtZjZ5pcwEMQ7oBYiwxx02s-2RadVfN3Io85yrcUZyxh3FIhPfF2CBPE9tyVuDXzVfrLn2Q2e1-pR5qqTvWJHaw7pBWm8gjoryQABT4jjslwRMM/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-21.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Oh, to be ensconced in the soft, flow-y glow-y mire of womanhood. Ensconced in womanhood. Ensconced. Womanhood. Mmmmm. Hey, would you look at that, the wind is causing my robuster than usual ponytail to sway to and fro like a pendulum.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGS9pijC0iHao4rarQ7O8VcuAMwkCWg7deJxdaILY7zVpIme9v9JzOlo4JKSaMLnOwHeGal2T5o2Y5mpRR9baP_gmKmHsDzwn4NmZoAw2jDTE9qThBkFdhE9EZLYigPb05rSc0SKalpE/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGS9pijC0iHao4rarQ7O8VcuAMwkCWg7deJxdaILY7zVpIme9v9JzOlo4JKSaMLnOwHeGal2T5o2Y5mpRR9baP_gmKmHsDzwn4NmZoAw2jDTE9qThBkFdhE9EZLYigPb05rSc0SKalpE/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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(Hey, snap out of it.) What? Sorry 'bout that. I must have drifted off or something.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsb_xFLJNm7tS9OJAbSedCRsWFMLBBb_Vgx497HddTBY8YePARcGDuiMi8Gh1ntkKOsyuz8TJwSDnagBXWHXlpu6xgxp0hY-x5HF6bARc1Z8rMys8C79YRsn7erCWEdkzcNVtJJaEdPGI/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-05.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsb_xFLJNm7tS9OJAbSedCRsWFMLBBb_Vgx497HddTBY8YePARcGDuiMi8Gh1ntkKOsyuz8TJwSDnagBXWHXlpu6xgxp0hY-x5HF6bARc1Z8rMys8C79YRsn7erCWEdkzcNVtJJaEdPGI/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-05.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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So, yeah, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083670/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a> is about this super-lean, mildly douchey guy named Jim (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935870/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">John Wintergate</span></a>) who inherits the Hoffman house, a large residence on Mulholland Dr. with a dark past (many people have died mysteriously there over the past ten years).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy6WiF1uJcQMqKiUzYGRX82HOOGzRS7aVMCR2ZfXnsQudA-hRcSJ5Vx1BSV3vJ_ySCzN5IPqeMSmSsWjZYtlXNUpol-59fdg2zPAyCKEoNc6ucr2Qgl1XiByP6Ofod9QbI51bUZuR_lWM/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy6WiF1uJcQMqKiUzYGRX82HOOGzRS7aVMCR2ZfXnsQudA-hRcSJ5Vx1BSV3vJ_ySCzN5IPqeMSmSsWjZYtlXNUpol-59fdg2zPAyCKEoNc6ucr2Qgl1XiByP6Ofod9QbI51bUZuR_lWM/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-16.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Deciding to rent it out almost exclusively to hot young women, Jim goes back to astral projecting in his downtown office. No, wait... Jim has chosen to live with his tenants. At first I thought this was odd, as landlords don't usually live with their tenants. But judging by his pronounced pantie bugle, I'd say Jim's penis has somehow persuaded Jim proper to take advantage of the situation.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEKgioqgBuKFDjGt7QZqCLJbB0_hd5efmZhYcI1c612IlAQbbuVGtkGEkkjVpBxAQ-L9vhqZXDQewoBgSwrkcAroy-_leWKIDFDPRNC0YLtSTc9D5atoczYb-bOtJKgly8tkQsNNKZmQc/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEKgioqgBuKFDjGt7QZqCLJbB0_hd5efmZhYcI1c612IlAQbbuVGtkGEkkjVpBxAQ-L9vhqZXDQewoBgSwrkcAroy-_leWKIDFDPRNC0YLtSTc9D5atoczYb-bOtJKgly8tkQsNNKZmQc/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-11.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ58bVC6ljI_lOlF25F44mxQ29eucTiC5RqJLqAFnH58BxWmmoDvCKS8lv98fGJHVhyphenhyphenPiLhefzhqknUH_OUYItIkhpHJytpIcm9nmuhxq-mkptWL474cF6h7PZHKizy0RjxnKVQxC14vU/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ58bVC6ljI_lOlF25F44mxQ29eucTiC5RqJLqAFnH58BxWmmoDvCKS8lv98fGJHVhyphenhyphenPiLhefzhqknUH_OUYItIkhpHJytpIcm9nmuhxq-mkptWL474cF6h7PZHKizy0RjxnKVQxC14vU/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-12.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_7qLlWO6hse2NGqcOviiLQkoMHUzhB47CD0X1LdCChm2MYjPGS8XtzMSxF5x7NeewPTdzXYNuF6l2VTwRlrug84TIscUZvmmuCkJEES1jds_i9P5MznM4BKe1bN_TRCPaW8MrzIqGtw/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_7qLlWO6hse2NGqcOviiLQkoMHUzhB47CD0X1LdCChm2MYjPGS8XtzMSxF5x7NeewPTdzXYNuF6l2VTwRlrug84TIscUZvmmuCkJEES1jds_i9P5MznM4BKe1bN_TRCPaW8MrzIqGtw/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-14.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO74RLlB2bWqXE_0PE8ab5zser5tacE6RX8CRPDAI35uZwP04EzF17TiO7bFNNO-UlmKlW4IX7SobU_wjQR07TcVJPI7wlxF_o-A1W6l2vIAOHEDvdB3lYDDre5glxMhYrIKn7d3NK6M0/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO74RLlB2bWqXE_0PE8ab5zser5tacE6RX8CRPDAI35uZwP04EzF17TiO7bFNNO-UlmKlW4IX7SobU_wjQR07TcVJPI7wlxF_o-A1W6l2vIAOHEDvdB3lYDDre5glxMhYrIKn7d3NK6M0/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-13.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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When the women do arrive and start moving in, a wave of relief washed over me. You know, because I want to be ensconced... (Yeah, yeah, ensconced in womanhood... we get it.) Even though it was difficult to tell at first, I'd say around six or seven move in.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaH6NitS64rtZtvnXw_bubp9GgERji_O8AmNXxUmvZq3IunvWJHSkLrfeVTgTK6s8DprfhGhlN_JiqQJuiLJJF6gz964MkGXvR6nw2i2i4kbNfE1-nph4COf-5NQPNsSnL8a1vM8vJkQ/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaH6NitS64rtZtvnXw_bubp9GgERji_O8AmNXxUmvZq3IunvWJHSkLrfeVTgTK6s8DprfhGhlN_JiqQJuiLJJF6gz964MkGXvR6nw2i2i4kbNfE1-nph4COf-5NQPNsSnL8a1vM8vJkQ/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-09.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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If there's one thing I don't like about these types of movies, it's that they don't make it easy for us to distinguish one hot chick from another. Sure, having one "black chick" and one "Asian chick" made it somewhat easy. But still, I have to wade through three brunettes and a shitload of blondes. I know, life is hard.</div>
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A latecomer named Debbie (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0206330/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Lindsay Freeman</span></a>), an English blonde, shows up and eventually gets a room. Things seem pleasant enough at first (nothing but non-stop pool parties and pie fights). But that all changes when a forthright brunette named Victoria (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0435558/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t2" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Kalassu</span></a>... you heard me, I said, Kalassu) starts having weird visions. In fact, most of the women start having weird visions. But Victoria's weird visions seemed extra... weird. And I think it has something to do with the fact that she has recently taken an interest in astral projection (she checks out a ton of books on the subject at the library). Which, of course, she picked up from Jim (she watches Jim move a bar of soap with his mind while taking a bath).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN9jPKx1J4ijqOsjL3AbTkN1OTTan5RU2ilIA2UqOKypFieSFGtEbw5fo1MPEJvOhzrq2prvxNXSctxV3NDbrZ8FYnom6N3Wt9cGyhJMUl2RQtywWG3yNrsDnvgygwc8jsHabtcIwBS4M/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN9jPKx1J4ijqOsjL3AbTkN1OTTan5RU2ilIA2UqOKypFieSFGtEbw5fo1MPEJvOhzrq2prvxNXSctxV3NDbrZ8FYnom6N3Wt9cGyhJMUl2RQtywWG3yNrsDnvgygwc8jsHabtcIwBS4M/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-06.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzO5ofOCy729eExJlzXn__FMj-T42LhGDldmOscNQCvlvW7asUbN0Tam5hS3KGxgDfxVt7ScLOEloqtAIxh6muTLkV8w3maRYjPU0uzgNQWw9XCIYkTGa8XE_DxJ5qR5q_g0AQcyUvic/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-07.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzO5ofOCy729eExJlzXn__FMj-T42LhGDldmOscNQCvlvW7asUbN0Tam5hS3KGxgDfxVt7ScLOEloqtAIxh6muTLkV8w3maRYjPU0uzgNQWw9XCIYkTGa8XE_DxJ5qR5q_g0AQcyUvic/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-07.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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In order to protect the squeamish, director John Wintergate has devised a method to shield easily triggered audience members from harm. And he does this by flashing a warning (the image of a black leather glove) accompanied by a synth flourish.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1FGo-fc8ngRK3S4x-EXBAglE6WDx5kmNmXAWBwQO02LKx1zN5CjzIoadyw88QmYYmTmzp_RtxWzh-CQ31h-gT89ZaBiFNv91R9I7kEDCPuELGT1SNqsHNHmx8GZ32CzlddkY_q9wFw4/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1FGo-fc8ngRK3S4x-EXBAglE6WDx5kmNmXAWBwQO02LKx1zN5CjzIoadyw88QmYYmTmzp_RtxWzh-CQ31h-gT89ZaBiFNv91R9I7kEDCPuELGT1SNqsHNHmx8GZ32CzlddkY_q9wFw4/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-22.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Let's be honest. The warnings, apparently titled, "Horror Vision," were kinda unwarranted. I mean, other than some spewing fake guts and some self-induced eyeball popping, the gore in this movie is pretty tame. But then again, I'm sucker for synth flourishes. So, yeah, it's got that going for it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBJFrZ67ci3s2SZpt1apNVWmUHssGP7XrFyOltU4hAt14wOe3vD3DFnwnhh7OvrB0F1t_UNdkOOHyTz1vKuHVS9i3jvXkipp296GBctKoSaNVx4TaBSC00mcegizXuc_jP5JO98oWeig0/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-17.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBJFrZ67ci3s2SZpt1apNVWmUHssGP7XrFyOltU4hAt14wOe3vD3DFnwnhh7OvrB0F1t_UNdkOOHyTz1vKuHVS9i3jvXkipp296GBctKoSaNVx4TaBSC00mcegizXuc_jP5JO98oWeig0/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-17.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsVY-kM4VPlHLom-Du-X6O-OGU1D5r82C7fU9IscAn234sykNyiOwgcdBE6WLKaVAe_7LI-MQB84rxudwsAYmKRz7eH3CxPUIVX_g5tXe6R3kklK6IkHRA0JPQl5uvadGlz0bJn7TQKk0/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsVY-kM4VPlHLom-Du-X6O-OGU1D5r82C7fU9IscAn234sykNyiOwgcdBE6WLKaVAe_7LI-MQB84rxudwsAYmKRz7eH3CxPUIVX_g5tXe6R3kklK6IkHRA0JPQl5uvadGlz0bJn7TQKk0/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-18.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFarjP_d1TSFpPbMkM63Ixcu3o5E1wIxA4h9j7ed8r3FA_l2DKI6CArsYFsfcyuNs0WwhKjBtgA42Dpfm9I3SriqQ1CC5Oq9_BgKzbTpbUGMw3DZ71bcuy3_V39wCmR2_xo5L0jeYG5QA/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFarjP_d1TSFpPbMkM63Ixcu3o5E1wIxA4h9j7ed8r3FA_l2DKI6CArsYFsfcyuNs0WwhKjBtgA42Dpfm9I3SriqQ1CC5Oq9_BgKzbTpbUGMw3DZ71bcuy3_V39wCmR2_xo5L0jeYG5QA/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-19.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Don't let gore-hounds or shot on video aficionados fool you, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boardinghouse_(film)" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a> is all about hot babes under duress in a domestic setting. Some wear silky smooth black satin disco pants, some wear short shorts (which were just called shorts back then), some wear studded bracelets... Actually, some wear silky smooth black satin disco pants <i>and</i> studded bracelets. I know, talk about your win-win.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLArrd_aKClY8GMkj8KPGkjw75E5ktgDG4DNRfhG5mg5D2y4hAOrfxQChm5QzHxNGZqWR0gSf0dtWxQvpdzBvDuZiLnpX3fTaVbbo_DoC7ZN2aRprZBOz-Um9o7SXJxJTybMHZD8V1tA/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLArrd_aKClY8GMkj8KPGkjw75E5ktgDG4DNRfhG5mg5D2y4hAOrfxQChm5QzHxNGZqWR0gSf0dtWxQvpdzBvDuZiLnpX3fTaVbbo_DoC7ZN2aRprZBOz-Um9o7SXJxJTybMHZD8V1tA/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-23.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Anyway, if you're like me and want to be surrounded by as many women as humanly possible at all times, you can't do better than <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083670/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Boardinghouse</span></a>. (Are you sure about that?) Not really.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIII3J4fcPdmquyqjStzkHOGgQHxuIxiAkpG8t1QEv8E-UqmJvDBb0UJ5rl4cs6NpQ4eD6kOQ_pbz3E-P0xYqVqhDs-sbKV-AP11HNkLcFL8zfQznKbjLRzvTF5eLO_l2VU7gfpTyiw8g/s1600/Boardinghouse-Video-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIII3J4fcPdmquyqjStzkHOGgQHxuIxiAkpG8t1QEv8E-UqmJvDBb0UJ5rl4cs6NpQ4eD6kOQ_pbz3E-P0xYqVqhDs-sbKV-AP11HNkLcFL8zfQznKbjLRzvTF5eLO_l2VU7gfpTyiw8g/s400/Boardinghouse-Video-24.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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This review, by the way, is a review of the 98 min theatrical cut. There's a "rare" 157 min on the second disc that comes with the 2013 Slasher // Video release of this film. Surrounded by women or not, I don't think I have the stamina to make through a 157 minute version of this movie. I'm sort of curious... Nah, I better not. My brain cells need a break.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/y0tf_xxEGLU" width="420"></iframe> </div>
Yum-Yumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17897678877069611172noreply@blogger.com3